# Moderation of inappropriate sexual commentary **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [May 6, 2013, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626 "2013-05-06T15:55:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 30
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/581 "2013-05-07T21:05:16Z")
[QUOTE=FinnAgain] There’s nothing obtuse about that, wilful or otherwise. I was provided with a cite of a post and I went off that post . **I haven’t and don’t intend to read the thread it came from**. But, be that as it may, it’s not a joke about sexual assault any more than “Did the see the game? Man, our team really got the shit kicked out of them!” isn’t a comment about a massive series of assaults that ended up with the victims leaking fecal matter. [/QUOTE] Bolding mine. Since you won’t bother, I’ll explain the context. It was a thread about sexual assault. Nobody is offended by jokes about being slaughtered _unless they are in a thread about people’s experiences of murder._ He damn well knew that when he went in there, it was obviously posted just to piss people off, and there is no excuse for it. That you continue to make excuses for it honestly boggles my mind. Damn it, are you a Rush fan? We Rush fans need to stick together! ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/582 "2013-05-07T21:05:37Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > It’s a fake quote that, at least to my knowledge, has never been uttered in seriousness by any feminist. This was briefly discussed upthread, and ATMB is not the place to critique feminism itself. Factoid McKinnon said something like “All penetrative intercourse is inherently violent”–which isn’t the same thing, but is interesting and similar nonetheless. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/583 "2013-05-07T21:05:41Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > OK, I will try Shodan. It is a protest, that’s the main thing. The protest is not a sexual act. It is not a come-on, she’s not a prostitute. She’s protesting the Catholic Church’s views on contraception. > > So, contraception. That’s sex, right? Yes, it is but the woman wasn’t presenting herself as a sex object, she was using sex in her protest. That’s what I was thinking before when I wrote the mod note. A woman who is exposing herself in public, and deliberately drawing attention to her genitalia - who is using sex in her protest - this is not a sexual situation? > [@](#): > > I agree it is a fine line, which is why now that we’ve codified things a bit I hope it will be easier to see. I hope so too. Because you immediately go on to say - > [@](#): > > It’s a pretty sex-laden thread It’s sex-laden but not sexual? That does not make any sense to me. > [@](#): > > …sexual comments of most types would probably be OK under these new guidelines unless of course they’re directed at other posters or direct put-downs of women based on this one woman’s conduct, for example. Then, to clarify, none of the comments in the pantsless Pope thread would be modded under the new rules. Because, AFAICT, none of them were directed at other posters, nor did they put down women in general. Is that correct? Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Myrnalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@Myrnalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrnalene)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/584 "2013-05-07T21:07:40Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Even if that’s true, and he wasn’t using a word correctly and accurately because he knew it would be shocking, it’s _still_ not a joke about sexual assault. In that case, it’d be a statement about tanking in the stock market and using rape as an example of another horrible thing that can happen to someone. Just like if someone said “man, I really got slaughtered in the market today!” they wouldn’t be joking about murder. Of _course_ he posted it because he intended to shock. There was no relevance to his anecdote about Microsoft shares to that thread. Your analogy doesn’t work because this wasn’t an offhand comment in a post about the stock market. The entire point of mentioning it was so he could make joke about rape, in a thread where women had repeatedly shared their experiences of all levels of harassment and assault. It was basically a “lol, fuck you!” to every survivor in that thread. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/585 "2013-05-07T21:08:13Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I think casual dismissal of a group of women’s experiences of sexual assault qualifies as a misogynistic thing. As far as I can tell, the vast majority of citations in this thread do not relate to this specifically. And as such, I don’t think it’s nearly as widespread as you seem to be believe. Most of the complaints have been about stupid jokes and comments, which in and of themselves, are not inherently misogynistic. Sexist would be the more accurate term. And sexism is not inherently misogynistic either. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/586 "2013-05-07T21:08:51Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > OK, I will try Shodan. It is a protest, that’s the main thing. The protest is not a sexual act. It is not a come-on, she’s not a prostitute. She’s protesting the Catholic Church’s views on contraception. > > So, contraception. That’s sex, right? Yes, it is but the woman wasn’t presenting herself as a sex object, she was using sex in her protest. That’s what I was thinking before when I wrote the mod note. > > I agree it is a fine line, which is why now that we’ve codified things a bit I hope it will be easier to see. It’s a pretty sex-laden thread, and sexual comments of most types would probably be OK under these new guidelines unless of course they’re directed at other posters or direct put-downs of women based on this one woman’s conduct, for example. Hey–wanted to say I strongly disagree with you about this–I feel her “protest” is inherently sexualized because of her nudity–she’s (IMO) _exactly_ presenting herself as a sex object. BUT–that aside, I appreciate the clarity you’ve brought to this. IMO, this rule is a bad one, but you’re being consistent and clear and your answers have helped un-muddy the waters. So…thanks. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![bldysabba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@bldysabba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bldysabba)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/587 "2013-05-07T21:10:02Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Cut the crap, both of you. There’s no excuse for this at this point in the thread. Cmon. **VT** is making a valid point. It may be a joke, but that perhaps only makes it more valid, not less. Particularly in this discussion. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/588 "2013-05-07T21:11:04Z")
> [@Red\_Barchetta](#): > > As far as I can tell, the vast majority of citations in this thread do not relate to this specifically. And as such, I don’t think it’s nearly as widespread as you seem to be believe. I’ve been here since 2007, and have participated in a LOT of those kinds of threads, and I would say it’s pretty common. Common enough to prompt me to discuss it here. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/589 "2013-05-07T21:12:45Z")
> [@colander](#): > > Then you’ll no doubt be very happy to learn that I have not made any kind of insistence that any particular specific patterns of jokes always “promote sexual assault.” Would you like a party hat? Maybe you disagree with the term promote, please replace it with “joking about” if that seems more accurate. Here’s where you did it: > [@colander](#): > > He is comparing it to joking about sexual assault. Which, you know. It was. Unless you believe that there’s a reason to think that any given politically-active college student would particularly enjoy being erotically spanked by an unpleasant internet stranger? (Hint: there isn’t) ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/590 "2013-05-07T21:13:03Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Since you won’t bother, I’ll explain the context. Thanks, and no, I don’t intend on reading a nearly 900 post thread to check up on the back-and-forths that went on to grudge status. > [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > That you continue to make excuses for it honestly boggles my mind. Come on, I judged the post based on the post, without having the 900 posts of context. That’s hardly making excuses for it, let alone continuing to do so. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/591 "2013-05-07T21:13:27Z")
> [@colander](#): > > Again, please explain how handing out condoms while being nude in public is inherently sexual. Thanks. The whole is more than the sum of the parts. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/592 "2013-05-07T21:14:58Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > What part of a public protest designed specifically to promote sex-for-fun and against sex-in-the-context-of-procreative-marriage is unrelated to sex? Making a political statement about how you disapprove of the Catholic Church’s blanket prohibition on recreational sex is a sexual act… how? ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/593 "2013-05-07T21:15:05Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I’ve been here since 2007, and have participated in a LOT of those kinds of threads, and I would say it’s pretty common. Common enough to prompt me to discuss it here. Could you link to a few posts that showcase the "casual dismissal of a group of women’s experiences of sexual assault " that you mean? It’s entirely possible I missed them, but the examples I have seen in this thread do not exemplify that. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/594 "2013-05-07T21:15:49Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Come on, I judged the post based on the post, without having the 900 posts of context. That’s hardly making excuses for it, let alone continuing to do so. Just a miscommunication then. I thought you were defending it knowing the thread had to do with sexual assault. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/595 "2013-05-07T21:22:30Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > There may be contexts where it is inappropriate and jerkish, but it has nothing whatsoever to do with implied sexual assault. We can say that a comment is inappropriate without using hyperbolic language like sexual assault. It is a supposedly “jocular” comment about erotically spanking someone. Seems to me like the only “humor” value of the comment lies in the fact that such a “spanking” is almost certainly _not_ something that this nude protestor would enjoy. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/596 "2013-05-07T21:26:56Z")
> [@Red\_Barchetta](#): > > As far as I can tell, the vast majority of citations in this thread do not relate to this specifically. And as such, I don’t think it’s nearly as widespread as you seem to be believe. > > Most of the complaints have been about stupid jokes and comments, which in and of themselves, are not inherently misogynistic. Sexist would be the more accurate term. And sexism is not inherently misogynistic either. I think that **Olivesmarch4th** has said exactly what you’re saying about the complaints in this thread, unless I’ve missed something. I also agree with you about the value of making sure the words we use have meaning. The example **olives** gave seems far, far closer to the mark than anything brought up in this thread, and I still think that discussion would be far more valuable than this nonsense. (No love for my Rush handle, **olives**?) ---
**Author:** ![bldysabba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@bldysabba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bldysabba)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/597 "2013-05-07T21:27:57Z")
> [@colander](#): > > Making a political statement about how you disapprove of the Catholic Church’s blanket prohibition on recreational sex is a sexual act… how? The protest is about sex, yes? The condoms are for sex? The genitalia are a commentary on sex? Would you rather that the jokes be about baking? ---
**Author:** ![Myrnalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@Myrnalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrnalene)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/598 "2013-05-07T21:28:13Z")
> [@Red\_Barchetta](#): > > Could you link to a few posts that showcase the "casual dismissal of a group of women’s experiences of sexual assault " that you mean? It’s entirely possible I missed them, but the examples I have seen in this thread do not exemplify that. Now that the context has been explained, in what universe is Drunky Smurf’s comment not an example of this? ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/599 "2013-05-07T21:28:18Z")
> [@colander](#): > > the fact that such a “spanking” is almost certainly _not_ something that this nude protestor would enjoy. That’s a fact, is it? So you have robust statistical data showing what percent of women enjoy light BDSM play? You know her personally? Or, as we’ve seen so often in this topic recently, you’re assuming that since it’s objectionable to you, that it must be objectively objectionable. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/600 "2013-05-07T21:28:51Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > The whole is more than the sum of the parts. Do explain. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626.md?page=29) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626.md?page=31)