# Modern Manners, aka Standing In The Way **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 19, 2020, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681 "2020-01-19T23:16:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681/21 "2020-01-20T15:05:24Z")
I hear you. [People in subways moving with the alacrity of enheroinated cows](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=234719) ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681/22 "2020-01-20T15:06:51Z")
I assume this occurred in the U.S.A.? I hope it’s not too rude to say I’m glad you experienced this. I live in Thailand and it’s fair to say that incidents similar to this — though not quite as weirdly stupid, and certainly not as rude(\*) as the behavior you observed — do occur here, and might come to mind when someone asks “Tell us the pros and cons of life in Thailand vs life in U.S.A.” - - Although foolishly blocking a pathway does happen here more than it should, in the Land of Smiles only politeness and smiles will follow when you mumble “Beep beep, I’m coming through.” The fact that Idiot Family chose to become stupidly rude instead of reacting more appropriately makes me pretty sure that, yes, you did observe this in the U.S.A., “Land of the Free.” ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681/23 "2020-01-20T15:22:35Z")
The incident in question in the OP did indeed happen in the USA. I found it sort of unique, because I’ve ridden escalators any number of times, and never once had anyone just STOP at the top like that. Sure, there’s obliviousness, but it takes a special kind of stupid for an entire group of people to not realize there are MORE PEOPLE COMING BEHIND YOU in such a way as they really have no way NOT to plow into you. Sure, the rest of the group was perhaps letting Dad do their thinking, and Dad wasn’t doing it. Now I sort of wish I’d stopped and turned around and observed how Dad dealt with the realization that he’d done a foolish thing. He was irritated with ME, and flat angry with Guy Behind Me. Did he realize his mistake, or did he tear into Woman With Two Kids who was bringing up the rear for daring to intrude upon this section of mall he’d staked out? I seldom use revolving doors – not many of them around here – but I do find myself pondering what sort of idiot stops in one, or right in FRONT of one. An oblivious one, obviously. It also brings to mind an incident years ago where I was trying to get to the shopping center, and found myself behind an old couple, me in my car, and they in theirs. And like many old folks, this fellow drove as though his car had arthritis. I didn’t mind. I was only a hundred yards or so from where I wanted to be, and I had time. Until the fellow slowly turned left into the shopping center. All right. He was slow. That was okay. I turned left behind him, to get into the same shopping center. And then just inside the entrance… he stopped cold. So many cars! So much space! Where to park? What to DO? BRAIN… LOCKING… UP… And behind him, I was sitting in the middle of the LEFT LANE OF TRAFFIC, with cars in the distance barreling towards me. So I honked at him. They did not move their vehicle. Instead, they both craned their necks around to stare at the rude youngster who drove with his horn. I leaned on the horn and screamed at them, “YOU HAVE LEFT ME IN THE MIDDLE OF TRAFFIC, YOU STUPID %#@#\*! MOVE YOUR &%#@# CAR BEFORE THE TRAFFIC GETS HERE!” He jerked, startled, and glanced to his right, and realized, why YES, there IS traffic coming! And it’s headed right AT this young man, who can’t get in because I am sitting right in the middle of the entrance to the parking lot! And he took his foot off the brake and rolled a few feet forward, and I was able to get into the ramp. And then he stopped again and began surveying the parking lot, wondering what to do. But at least I was out of traffic, and now I was partially in the parking lot. So I drove AROUND him, further into the parking lot, to go look for my own place to park. As I drove past him, he looked at me, shocked AGAIN at my terrible rudeness in not simply waiting for him to figure out what to do with the rest of his life before advancing past him… Yeah. Manners. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681/24 "2020-01-20T15:35:19Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I can understand it happening accidentally–you just were just distracted and not paying attention to where you were standing. But the second you said something, the response should have been something like “Oh! I’m sorry! I wasn’t paying attention. Let me get out of your way.” Even if that’s not actually said out loud, that would be what their body language would show (quickly getting out of the way, looking apologetic and sheepish, etc.). > > I’ve been the dolt who wasn’t paying attention or didn’t realize there wasn’t room to get around me. But I always move as soon as I’m made aware. And I try my best not to make a habit of it. The problem is that some people, when confronted with the fact that they’re behaving badly, get indignant instead of apologetic. I see this a lot when driving. Someone will pull out right in front of me in traffic, and I will honk – not in anger, but to let them know that yes, there is another vehicle on the road besides yours – and they will honk back and flip me off. Maybe it would help if there was a universal gesture for “Sorry! I’m an idiot!” that people could use while driving. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681/25 "2020-01-20T15:38:51Z")
> [@Dead\_Cat](#): > > You stop? That _is_ being polite. I favour continuing on my way, if that results in us brushing jackets or even shoulders, that’s fine with me - maybe it will help them get the message. I have done that in the past, when there is almost enough room to get by. I remember once when it was several kids, probably middle school age, who clearly saw me, but refused to move over so I could pass. I figured it was time for a physics lesson in force=mass x acceleration, and that my 235 pounds would likely have an interesting opposite and equal reaction on a kid half my size. Yeah, I was a bully, but he did a lovely pirouette when I clipped his shoulder. “Hey!” sez he, in mock outrage. I just kept walking. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681/26 "2020-01-20T16:01:19Z")
How is that being a bully? If anything, they were bullying you by standing in your way. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681/27 "2020-01-20T16:20:10Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > Maybe it would help if there was a universal gesture for “Sorry! I’m an idiot!” that people could use while driving. There is. It’s made by the people who flip you off. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681/28 "2020-01-20T16:36:18Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > There is. It’s made by the people who flip you off. Ha! It does get the second sentence across nicely, but falls some way short on the first one, sadly. It’s at times like this I try to remind myself that if such is the most annoying thing to happen to me that day, I have a very privileged life - which is entirely true. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681/29 "2020-01-20T16:43:56Z")
That’s a very very long story just to point out people stop at the top of escalators. Welcome to the 21st century. Just plow through them. What else can you do? Time and escalators wait for no man. ---
**Author:** ![rsat3acr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a3d4f5/32.png) [@rsat3acr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rsat3acr)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681/30 "2020-01-20T16:49:27Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > People have no sense of what or who is around them, because people have been looking inward for years now. I’m surprised more of them aren’t bludgeoned senseless by those of us with a sense of space, or that there aren’t random piles of people at the tops of escalators, in the middle of doorways, or in the aisles of the neighborhood grocery. > > I’ve given up trying to be polite to these inconsiderate morons. Most irritating is the group of three (or even just two) who are coming toward me on the sidewalk, and who, for some inexplicable reason, believe they are entitled to the entire width of the walk. I refuse to get out of the way, and will usually just stop as they walk up to me. They’ll mutter “Oh, excuse me”, but it’s obvious that they don’t mean it and that they actually expect everyone to step aside. Same goes for people who are mesmerized by whatever LOLZ is on the tiny screen in front of them. “Out of my way, for I possess a smart phone!” Sadly, you’re not as smart as your phone is. I agree with you on the sidewalk people. If I am all the way to my right and they are coming straight at me (all the way to their left) I no longer deviate from my path, if I run into them I don’t care, we walk on the right not the left. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681/31 "2020-01-20T16:51:48Z")
My local Shop Rite has aisles wide enough for two people, yet people stand there in the middle with their carts blocking all traffic I don’t understand it. Move to the side, idiot. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681/32 "2020-01-20T16:55:50Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I’ve given up trying to be polite to these inconsiderate morons. […] I refuse to get out of the way, and will usually just stop as they walk up to me. > [@Alessan](#): > > I’ve found that you can’t fight rudeness with manners, only with greater rudeness. In cases like the OP, I usually just bark “Excuse me”, shove my way through them, and just keep walking at my usual fast clip. > [@Senegoid](#): > > I like to play my EVIL PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE maneuver. > > I just quietly wait there for however long it takes until someone notices me. > [@panache45](#): > > I no longer make any pretense about being polite. I just shove my way through as if they weren’t there. > [@Just Asking Questions](#): > > Just plow through them. What else can you do? Huh. Maybe my experience is atypical, but I’ve almost always found that a polite but firm “Excuse me”, coupled with continued forward motion but no actual contact, gets lane-blockers out of the way with a minimum of effort, aggression, or wasted time. Yes, lane-blockers are being inconsiderate and stupid, but I think a lot of people who encounter them are also just looking for an excuse to get mad and rude. Which is, of course, entirely appropriate here in the Pit, so have at it. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681/33 "2020-01-20T17:07:42Z")
One of my super powers is the ability to be damn near invisible. If someone ignores me, I stand there doing my invisible bit, and wait for them to jump when they finally notice me. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681/34 "2020-01-20T17:28:07Z")
Don’t get me started on mommies with their Urban Assault Strollers. I’ve reproduced! Make way for the baby! God help you if it’s twins, cuz you ain’t gettin’ around that [behemoth](https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Trend-Expedition-Double-Stroller/dp/B007NYRAC2/ref=sxin_2_osp99-41daef32_cov?ascsubtag=41daef32-7b48-446f-8d52-ad096c1ea418&creativeASIN=B007NYRAC2&cv_ct_cx=jogging+stroller&cv_ct_id=amzn1.osp.41daef32-7b48-446f-8d52-ad096c1ea418&cv_ct_pg=search&cv_ct_wn=osp-search&keywords=jogging+stroller&linkCode=oas&pd_rd_i=B007NYRAC2&pd_rd_r=74d22ea0-c172-49b2-8fe0-56a977562b79&pd_rd_w=Wa3NF&pd_rd_wg=eFvzr&pf_rd_p=eb3e5cda-5ec9-4d94-919d-310a5d641b8b&pf_rd_r=FK6KWV8N84TS7150TKQ0&qid=1579541252&sr=1-3-32a32192-7547-4d9b-b4f8-fe31bfe05040&tag=gearpublish-20). ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681/35 "2020-01-20T17:33:08Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > I’m 6’2½", 280 pounds, and can call up a deep, booming, announcer-type voice when needed. Sort of like a smaller [Fezzik](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Redc8bv8NOk) with better enunciation. An “excuse me” in that voice typically gets such folk out of my way while they look sheepish. During the Christmas rush, I decided that damn it, I’m a teacher. And these people need to be taught. Kindly, yet firmly, and these are principles they need to remember for years. So I’ve been doing what I’d do when entering a rowdy classroom: clapping my hands and loudly announcing “PEOPLE, PEOPLE! We need to keep these walkways CLEAR! You canNOT stop right here, or you will be crushed. Preferably by me, but a 300 pound trucker will do the job much more thoroughly!” If shaming the group doesn’t work, I’m more than willing to move on to a witty takedown of each individual… but that hasn’t been needed yet. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681/36 "2020-01-20T17:36:03Z")
One Xmas shopping season not too long ago I was driving through a busy outdoor mall complex, and slowed to a stop at an intersection where a clot of Valley Girls (or whatever their Ohio equivalent is) was slooowly proceeding to cross in front of me, making faces in my direction for an unknown reason. After I found a parking space I was walking to a store when I saw the same clot of Valley Girls in front of me, blocking the sidewalk. So I just plowed on through, to a chorus of outraged squeaks. I admit that it felt good. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681/37 "2020-01-20T17:56:38Z")
Yes, the escalator stoppers - they are probably the most dangerous - their kin, the stair stoppers are also endangering the safety of themselves and others. The annoying ones - the grocery aisle cart blockers (and their siblings - the two car road blockers) are especially annoying when its "we need to have a conversation with someone who lives next door-I see every week at the high school basketball game - I haven’t seen in thirty years and have nothing real to say to them - but I’ve just run into them in the grocery store/on the road, so we will do it here. There are the travel in packs crew - which when combined with the escalator stoppers gets what you got. They often appear as teenage girls in shopping centers, but you also find large family groups at Disney - oblivious to the fact that fourteen of them are taking up the entire walkway moving at the speed of the slow ECV driven for the first time by Aunt Sarah, leaving no room for much smaller and faster groups to move past. Then you have the “live in the moment” crowd. They grab the chance to make small talk with the cashier in the express lane at the grocery store, so if you thought you were going to be on time to get your kids to soccer if you just ran in to grab milk, that plan is now gone. You’ve wasted ten minutes you don’t have when your kids are six and eight and you work full time listening to a stranger describe their hemorrhoid surgery to another stranger. Sometimes, “excuse me” works. Sometimes you get the blank stare of someone who can tell you are making mouth noises, but has the comprehension of the aforementioned pet who seems generally shocked that there are other people in the world and defines “fair” and “nice” the same way a five year old does - I get what I want and people are nice to me. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681/38 "2020-01-20T18:26:59Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Huh. > Yes, lane-blockers are being inconsiderate and stupid, but I think a lot of people who encounter them are also just looking for an excuse to get mad and rude. Which is, of course, entirely appropriate here in the Pit, so have at it. I think most of us have tried being polite with little success and have given up on being civilized about it. I’ve tried ‘excuse me’, ‘can I get through, please?’, ‘I need to get past, please’; and I try to make eye contact on the sidewalk (people look at you, but apparently people my age are invisible). So. . .make eye contact and continue to walk straight at me, and I’m not fucking moving. ---
**Author:** ![Smitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Smitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smitty)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681/39 "2020-01-20T18:32:55Z")
As a 6’5", 310 pounder who competes in Strongman competitions, I usually just bounce people off me. My favorite, though, was the little fella walking with his “crew” directly toward me with his head turned. I grabbed him by the shoulders, picked him up, and deposited him to my right. I got a few open-mouthed stares, but I think I made my point. ---
**Author:** ![echoreply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/echoreply/32/3641_2.png) [@echoreply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/echoreply)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681/40 "2020-01-20T19:12:15Z")
Had a similar experience at Costco on Sunday. It was a typical Sunday, which meant most of the metro area had decided to go to Costco. In the receipt check line to get out, one of the customers decided to hold a conversation with the receipt checker. After a minute or so, she realized she was being rude, so she stepped aside to let the next group get their receipt checked. At this point I blame the receipt checker, as she turned and continued the conversation, ignoring the next person in line. Along with that, don’t draw a smiley face on the back of the receipt for my kid, just hand it to me so we can get out of here. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-manners-aka-standing-in-the-way/846681.md?page=3)