# modern proverbs **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 6, 2000, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-proverbs/12562 "2000-01-06T19:21:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![melanietarrant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@melanietarrant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melanietarrant)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-proverbs/12562/1 "2000-01-06T19:21:00Z")
## there are many things a person should never do naked. fry bacon and operate power tools are two of them I’m pink therefore I’m Spam ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-proverbs/12562/2 "2000-01-06T19:23:00Z")
Never ask a question you don’t want answered. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-proverbs/12562/3 "2000-01-06T19:30:00Z")
Never trust a naked man who says “Trust Me”. * * * I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature! ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-proverbs/12562/4 "2000-01-06T20:13:00Z")
## If at first you don’t succeed, lower your standards. Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-proverbs/12562/5 "2000-01-06T20:17:00Z")
Special effects do not a good movie make. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Sweet\_Basil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4bbf92/32.png) [@Sweet\_Basil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweet_Basil)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-proverbs/12562/6 "2000-01-06T20:52:00Z")
“Damned if you do, Damned if you don’t.” ---
**Author:** ![David\_God\_of\_Frogs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f9b8f/32.png) [@David\_God\_of\_Frogs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_God_of_Frogs)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-proverbs/12562/7 "2000-01-06T21:19:00Z")
People who live in glass houses should get dressed with the lights off. ---
**Author:** ![Boris\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@Boris\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boris_B)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-proverbs/12562/8 "2000-01-06T21:24:00Z")
Cynicism is not a substitute for intelligence. ---
**Author:** ![MadPoet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@MadPoet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPoet)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-proverbs/12562/9 "2000-01-06T21:31:00Z")
People who live in glass houses may as well answer the door. No matter how many quad-mochas you down, you will have to sleep sometime. Clothes maketh the man - naked people have little or no influence on society. Everything you learned in college will be obsolete and irrelevant moments after you graduate. A penny saved is worthless. A stitch, in time, saves nine, but the opportunity costs are probably high enough to warrant throwing it out and buying a new one. Don’t Panic. * * * [http://www.madpoet.com](http://www.madpoet.com) There’s a million fine looking women in the world, dude, but not all of them will being you lasagna at work. Most just cheat on you. ---
**Author:** ![rubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@rubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rubes)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-proverbs/12562/10 "2000-01-06T21:49:00Z")
a penny saved is a penny. Don’t just do something, sit there! Nothing is so bad that it can’t get worse ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-proverbs/12562/11 "2000-01-06T23:13:00Z")
Murphy was an optimist. If at first you don’t succeed, remove any evidence you tried. Never try to appeal to a mans’ better nature; he may not have one. * * * VB TANSTAAFL! ---
**Author:** ![tenspeedjohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tenspeedjohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tenspeedjohn)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-proverbs/12562/12 "2000-01-07T02:12:00Z")
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. * * * Not so fast, you mucko! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-proverbs/12562/13 "2000-01-07T02:28:00Z")
Never pet a burning dog. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-proverbs/12562/14 "2000-01-07T03:46:00Z")
If you don’t have anything nice to say about someone, you may have a bright future in talk radio. Veb ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-proverbs/12562/15 "2000-01-07T07:25:00Z")
Stolen from Shel Silverstein If you’re a bird, be an early bird And catch the worm for your breakfast plate If you’re a bird, be an early bird But if you’re a worm, sleep late 🙂 * * * “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” - Anne Frank ---
**Author:** ![meek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce73a5/32.png) [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-proverbs/12562/16 "2000-01-07T12:17:00Z")
Never squeeze a cat with diarrhea. You can’t win a pissing contest with a skunk. * * * Forgive me my nonsense as I also forgive the nonsense of those who think they talk sense. – Robert Frost ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-proverbs/12562/17 "2000-01-07T14:44:00Z")
If I recall,Never squeeze a cat with diahrhea is Not in the Bible! ---
**Author:** ![special](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/special)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-proverbs/12562/18 "2000-01-08T06:07:00Z")
yeah, but it probably should be in one of those shitty threads! (never heard it before. loved it.) ---
**Author:** ![missdavis102](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7feea3/32.png) [@missdavis102](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missdavis102)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-proverbs/12562/19 "2000-01-08T06:36:00Z")
This may be inappropriate, but… A friend from college who was discussing an oral sex encounter once told us “A gentleman will always tell you when to move your head.” ---
**Author:** ![SaxFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SaxFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaxFace)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-proverbs/12562/20 "2000-01-07T19:12:00Z")
Men: Can’t live with 'em, can’t put 'em in a sack. * * * Formerly unknown as “Melanie” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modern-proverbs/12562.md?page=2)