# Mods/Admins, seriously stop it with the "Pls help, I need money" threads. **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [August 13, 2012, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333 "2012-08-13T01:57:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333/121 "2012-08-14T21:55:07Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Cite for what? > > Edit: Are you asking me for a cite where someone asked for help upgrading their cable package? I don’t have one. I made that up. It was an example, as you can tell by the fact that I prefaced it with “say.” I was originally going to use the example of someone begging for help for air conditioning for his rabbits, but I didn’t want to drag that whole situation back into the thread. My point is that I would strongly disagree with any moderator instructions that disallow us from posting anything critical or questioning in “help request” threads, because some of them might actually be stupid or frivolous. I hope that your previous request wasn’t any sort of official instruction. That is all. \*\*One more time. This thread is not about Lute Skywatcher. If you want to slap at him there’s other places where you can do that.\*\* I said don’t kick someone when they’re down. If you wish to help someone, help them. If you don’t want to help, don’t help. But don’t harm, either. That’s all I’m saying. ---
**Author:** ![Beastly\_Rotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@Beastly\_Rotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beastly_Rotter)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333/122 "2012-08-14T21:56:09Z")
> [@TubaDiva](#): > > Name “less pressing” … without dragging Lute Skywatcher back into it, please, we were all misinformed on that one. Well, in an earlier post you mentioned fundraising for “…a damn good charitable cause … fundraisers for well known charities, local bake sales/car washes/benefit concerts, that kind of thing.”: does [Help Defend This War Crime?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=656892) come under this aegis? That one left a seriously nasty taste. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333/123 "2012-08-14T21:57:37Z")
Jesus. It’s a little classless to needle someone until they post something that you feel you can moderate them for. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333/124 "2012-08-14T21:59:29Z")
> [@TubaDiva](#): > > \*\*One more time. > > This thread is not about Lute Skywatcher. If you want to slap at him there’s other places where you can do that.\*\* > > I said don’t kick someone when they’re down. If you wish to help someone, help them. If you don’t want to help, don’t help. But don’t harm, either. That’s all I’m saying. OK, whatever. You asked. This is actually the first time in a long time that something on this message board has actually made me angry. You demanded a cite from me for something that was clearly a hypothetical example and when I gave you the cite you demanded, you got all boldface yelling-mod at me. Nice. Really nice. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333/125 "2012-08-14T22:12:01Z")
(It’s ten minutes later and I am officially over it now, but seriously, not cool.) ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333/126 "2012-08-14T22:20:51Z")
> [@Beastly\_Rotter](#): > > To be serious for a moment, then, what is the point of moderator approval if all it is certifying is that it doesn’t contain the words This Is A Scam? I think you have different definitions of “serious” than I do. Anyway we ask that people run their requests by us so we can weed out scams and frivolous requests (like the cable example) and so we know what’s going on on the site. We don’t say no very often but we reserve the right to do so. We couldn’t do that if we didn’t ask people to run these things by us first - we could only respond later, possibly after people were already out some money. With that in mind we try to remind people that our ability to vet these requests is very limited. We can’t confirm someone’s financial situation and can’t subpoena documentation. It’s the same as anything else on the board: you can see what’s being presented to you but there’s not much to confirm it independently. We try to get rid of the worst jerks, but it’s up to you to decide what you think about most of the rest of what you see here. You’re welcome to your opinion if you think asking for help paying for college, for instance, is frivolous. We think users can make that determination on their own; that’s certainly not “help me upgrade my cable.” There have been more threads asking for financial help in that last couple of years, but I don’t think there have been so many that the worthy causes are being drowned out. > [@Beastly\_Rotter](#): > > Well, in an earlier post you mentioned fundraising for “…a damn good charitable cause … fundraisers for well known charities, local bake sales/car washes/benefit concerts, that kind of thing.”: does [Help Defend This War Crime?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=656892) come under this aegis? That one left a seriously nasty taste. Then don’t donate. We took a hard look at that one and asked **Oliveritaly** to make it clear the staff was not taking a position on the guy’s guilt or innocence or whether or not he deserved legal help. Not surprisingly there was debate about that in the thread. That was also not an instance of a poster asking for money from members, it was an appeal for what **Oliveritaly** felt was a worthy charitable cause. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333/127 "2012-08-14T22:26:20Z")
I say we just look at the person’s avatar. They look like Hobo Joe? Free mula. Ritchy Rich? Not so much 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333/128 "2012-08-14T22:28:50Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > You’re welcome to your opinion if you think asking for help paying for college, for instance, is frivolous. We think users can make that determination on their own; that’s certainly not “help me upgrade my cable.” There have been more threads asking for financial help in that last couple of years, but I don’t think there have been so many that the worthy causes are being drowned out. Then I don’t see what the point of having the moderation staff review requests for money is. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333/129 "2012-08-14T22:37:23Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > We could do that. But **Ellen Cherry** points out that the Registration Agreement does already mention this issue: Thank you. It is clear now. I’d hoped it was a little more stringent checking, but I take responsibility for checking on my own donations anyway. Thank you also Tuba Diva for the information you provided. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333/130 "2012-08-14T22:37:49Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Then I don’t see what the point of having the moderation staff review requests for money is. From the post you just quoted from: > [@Marley23](#): > > we ask that people run their requests by us so we can weed out scams and frivolous requests (like the cable example) and so we know what’s going on on the site. We don’t say no very often but we reserve the right to do so. We couldn’t do that if we didn’t ask people to run these things by us first - we could only respond later, possibly after people were already out some money. I probably shouldn’t have used the word frivolous twice there because I was trying to make a distinction between “Buy me a boat”/“Help me upgrade my cable” on one hand - stuff that just isn’t worthwhile - and stuff that might not reach your own personal threshold for a worthy cause, like “help me pay for college.” All that said, this is not that complicated. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333/131 "2012-08-14T22:55:52Z")
I AM OFFICIALLY SORRY I EVER MENTIONED THE UPGRADING MY CABLE THING. My _only_ point was that I feel like we should be able to question or criticize in these sorts of threads if something seems frivolous. The cable thing was a made-up example that was intended to be hyperbolic. Jesus Christ. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333/132 "2012-08-14T23:15:54Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Fand stuff that might not reach your own personal threshold for a worthy cause, like “help me pay for college.” You left out a word in your second-to-last sentence. Most people would agree “help me pay for college”=“worthwhile”, since a college degree in something practical (or even a four year liberal arts degree in general) will help people get better jobs. HOWEVER, the thread in question was closer to “Help me get through cartoon college” which is just one step _below_ “Help me get through clown college” (it ranks below, because at least with clown college, Ronald McDonald guest appearances, compared to…what? Fill-ins for when the Marmaduke guy goes on vacation or something?) I mean, I’d love to go to [The Austrian International Sex School](http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2011-12-02/europe/30466889_1_uk-tabloid-lessons-vienna) und in Vienna, no less. Anyone want to pony up about $6000.00 for tuition and living expenses? (Not that I _need_ to go to college for that, given my massive natural talent, but a degree always opens doors.) PS–since my very reasonable request for a new iPad was turned down, can I post this one? ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333/133 "2012-08-14T23:18:53Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > My _only_ point was that I feel like we should be able to question or criticize in these sorts of threads if something seems frivolous. I hear you. The mods are admitting that they can’t do a thorough vetting of every case. This is completely understandable, given that they’re not exactly in a position to be spending hours scouring financial records for every poster who claims to need help. It would be sad if that meant that _nobody_ could ever get permission to ask for help, because we’re mostly decent people, and sometimes there truly is a dire need. So, if these threads _are_ permitted on the boards, it’s our responsibility, both as a community and as potential donors, to investigate the requests and ask questions, so that we can all make a more informed decision. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333/134 "2012-08-14T23:21:48Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > “Help me get through clown college” (it ranks below, because at least with clown college, Ronald McDonald guest appearances, compared to…what? Fill-ins for when the Marmaduke guy goes on vacation or something?) Jesus, don’t you know anything? You fill in for _The Family Circus_. They give you a little circle and tell you to fill it in. Must include Jeffy, and no, you cannot use Cthulhu story snippets. ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333/135 "2012-08-14T23:29:31Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Cite for what? > > Edit: Are you asking me for a cite where someone asked for help upgrading their cable package? I don’t have one. I made that up. There was actually a thread within just the past 6 months where someone asked this board for $$$ and then listed a number of expenses (all mundane, day-to-day stuff like electric bill, gas money, etc.) that they wanted to use the money for. On the list offered was indeed a cable television bill, which made me considerably less sympathetic that I might normally have been; If you are reduced to begging money from strangers on the SDMB for your living expenses, I don’t think it’s too much for your intended audience to expect that you have cut your frivolous expenditures to a bare minimum, and cable TV seems beyond the scope of necessity, at least to my way of thinking. That said, I notice it didn’t seem to bother other Dopers, as the humble supplicant apparently got their “much needed” funds within a couple of days after starting their thread. Fair enough, people can do what they want with their money, afterall… ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333/136 "2012-08-14T23:35:34Z")
Don’t you think there could be possible consequences to the board if someone gets scammed? You guys were so worried that someone might use a copyrighted avatar (despite people pointing out to you that the possibilty was near zero) and sue the freaking board, yet you aren’t worried that someone might do so over getting scammed? ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333/137 "2012-08-15T00:59:25Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > OK, whatever. You asked. > > This is actually the first time in a long time that something on this message board has actually made me angry. You demanded a cite from me for something that was clearly a hypothetical example and when I gave you the cite you demanded, you got all boldface yelling-mod at me. Nice. Really nice. Didn’t appreciate you building that straw man. Also didn’t appreciate you taking another shot at bitchslapping in ATMB … when people have already been cautioned against the very same target in this very same thread. ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333/138 "2012-08-15T01:05:37Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Don’t you think there could be possible consequences to the board if someone gets scammed? You guys were so worried that someone might use a copyrighted avatar (despite people pointing out to you that the possibilty was near zero) and sue the freaking board, yet you aren’t worried that someone might do so over getting scammed? We don’t like avatars, period. It says right in the registration agreement: > [@](#): > > We allow exceptions for worthy causes (in our sole opinion) if you obtain prior permission from a moderator or administrator. We do not require prior approval for non-commercial gift exchanges, e.g., “secret Santa” exchanges. CLM and its agents, **including the administrators and moderators of the Straight Dope Message Board, make no representation that they have investigated or vetted charitable appeals, gift exchanges, and similar activities promoted on this board or groups or individuals associated with them. We do not vouch for, monitor, sponsor, endorse, or have any formal association with such activities. Proceed at your own risk.** What part of that is unclear? ---
**Author:** ![coolbyrne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@coolbyrne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coolbyrne)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333/139 "2012-08-15T01:10:31Z")
> [@TubaDiva](#): > > Didn’t appreciate you building that straw man. > > Also didn’t appreciate you taking another shot at bitchslapping in ATMB … when people have already been cautioned against the very same target in this very same thread. But she purposely created a hypothetical so she didn’t bitchslap Lute again. So when you asked her for a real cite and she gives you one, you boldface moderate her comment. Doesn’t seem there was a way to win for her either way. Here’s the question that seems to have generated the most muddied replies from mods: > [@](#): > > CLM and its agents, including the administrators and moderators of the Straight Dope Message Board, **make no representation that they have investigated or vetted charitable appeals, gift exchanges, and similar activities** promoted on this board or groups or individuals associated with them. We do not vouch for, monitor, sponsor, endorse, or have any formal association with such activities. Proceed at your own risk. Yet mods say, while they don’t vet all requests, they do vet some. Why vet at all? Why not just let the board accept any and all requests and let the board members decide? Isn’t that what the board is ultimately telling the members to do anyway? “Decide for yourself if you want to donate”? Edited: Which part is unclear? The part you bolded, when it’s followed up by a mod who says they vet, a mod who says they don’t, and a mod who says they sometimes do but sometimes don’t. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2012, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333/140 "2012-08-15T01:25:35Z")
> [@TubaDiva](#): > > Didn’t appreciate you building that straw man. > > Also didn’t appreciate you taking another shot at bitchslapping in ATMB … when people have already been cautioned against the very same target in this very same thread. I think you’ll find that was my first and only “shot” at that target, here or in any other thread. It was the first example that came to mind; I didn’t really want to bring it up, so I made up a different example, and you got upset with me for that. So then I explained my thinking. And you got upset with me for that. And you are apparently still upset with me even though I am absolutely bewildered about how I could make it any more clear that I was not attempting to build any straw man, I wasn’t trying to make a big thing out of Lute Skywatcher’s thread or whatever, and I wasn’t seriously suggesting that anyone was going to ask for a cable upgrade. I just wanted to know if we were being forbidden from commenting on or questioning this sort of thread. I don’t think I deserve the tone you’ve taken with me in this thread. I’m not losing sleep over it, but IMO you’ve overreacted. (“Bitch-slapping”? Really?) And as a tangential note, if you don’t mind my saying so, the general tone of your moderation these days (and by that, I mean for the last few years at least) is just tired. Tired, and weary. Tired of the complaints, tired of the fighting, tired of the users who won’t just do what they’re supposed to. And I get that, because I’ve been on this board for a long time too, and I’ve moderated other boards in the past (not particularly successfully) and it gets old. I understand. But I also understand that when you have a large message board with a big user base, there are always going to be complaints, and problems, and if you are moderating, you are going to have to deal with them. And if you are very tired and weary of it, which is your right and your due, maybe it is time to think about taking a break from it. It’s just a suggestion, worth about as much as you paid for it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-admins-seriously-stop-it-with-the-pls-help-i-need-money-threads/631333.md?page=8)