# Mods-Please consider rescinding this warning **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [October 17, 2011, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937 "2011-10-17T17:59:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937/21 "2011-10-17T21:37:44Z")
I’m going to have the warning stay, **Ambivalid**. You say you were joking, others may have figured you were joking, but that still doesn’t give anyone a free pass to call other people names. As has already been pointed out, if that happens, it becomes too easy to start to find a way around it. “Oh, I know I called him a shit for brains, but I grinned. Didn’t you see the grin?” ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937/22 "2011-10-17T21:43:03Z")
Reading comprehension fail: > [@Ambivalid](#): > > "was a recitation of the common childhood verse “Jamie and _person x_ sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g.” I missed that and must have seen "I called him an asshole for being so insensitive as to put me “up in a tree” as not being familiar with the verse. Isn’t Ambivalid Canadian? We often have threads about who knows or was familiar with whatnot and how things vary across regions and time. Oops. Please don’t call me a tree. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937/23 "2011-10-17T21:49:11Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > Isn’t Ambivalid Canadian? He’s from Michigan, so yes. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937/24 "2011-10-17T21:49:16Z")
People insult each other all the time and indicate that it’s a joke by inserting a smiley. But because **Jamie** used a specific naughty word to “insult” someone as opposed to saying someone’s momma wears combat boots he can’t do that? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937/25 "2011-10-17T21:50:23Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Heck, **twickster** just recently rescinded a Warning because it was obviously a joke, and everyone else got it. IF you guys actually followed this policy, then you couldn’t say that the poster was obviously quoting a line of dialog. That’s a different situation. It was a song quote that looks insulting if you don’t know the source (as **twickster** didn’t because she’s not a South Park fan). If you know it’s just a song quote, it’s obviously not an insult. When you call someone an asshole, that’s an insult. Putting a smiley face after that doesn’t make it something else, and even with smiley faces, we don’t want posters to call each other assholes out of the Pit. I believe **Ambivalid** intended it as a joke, **Idle Thoughts** is on very safe ground in saying that he shouldn’t do that regardless. And frankly - although I did not notice this until just now - **Ambivalid** has an earlier warning for calling another poster an asshole. I don’t mean to keep picking on him here because I believe that he didn’t mean to cause offense and that he’ll think twice about this kind of thing in the future, but that other warning probably should have been a hint that you shouldn’t another poster an asshole at all. > [@](#): > > Pretending like this is normal is ridiculous and shows a contempt for other posters that they would actually believe your argument. […] > **Idle Thoughts** messed up. This is not unusual for a new mod. Admit it rather than pretending like this is something you guys always do. Because anyone can tell that this is untrue by your previous actions. > > Don’t insult our intelligence. **BigT** , I offer this as free life advice: when you start a conversation with someone by telling them you think they’re bullshitting you and insulting your intelligence, you are making it less likely they will change their minds. This kind of tack does not help you make your argument, it just pisses people off. Nobody is insulting your intelligence and nobody is trying to get one over on you. It is a difference of opinion. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937/26 "2011-10-17T22:01:38Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > People insult each other all the time and indicate that it’s a joke by inserting a smiley. I think if you have something that could be taken either way, we try to give people the benefit of the doubt. If you have a post that’s just an insult with a smiley after it, that’s not so easy - and it’s a good idea, formally or informally, for us to tell posters not to do that. ---
**Author:** ![TheChileanBlob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thechileanblob/32/435_2.png) [@TheChileanBlob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheChileanBlob)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937/27 "2011-10-17T22:41:49Z")
Sorry I got you in trouble, Jamie. When I saw your reply to my post I was like “Uh-oh, he’s gonna hear about that.” > [@Ambivalid](#): > > [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14365740&postcount=9](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14365740&postcount=9) > > I called him an asshole for being so insensitive as to put me “up in a tree” without realizing that I actually have no way of doing such a thing. :smack: Oh, yeah, I wasn’t thinking! For the record, I took your “insult” the way you meant it and wasn’t offended. I’m actually more insulted that you called me The Chilean BOB, when I’m quite clearly a female BLOB! ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937/28 "2011-10-17T23:21:46Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I think if you have something that could be taken either way, we try to give people the benefit of the doubt. If you have a post that’s just an insult with a smiley after it, that’s not so easy - and it’s a good idea, formally or informally, for us to tell posters not to do that. Seems like a good time to give a mod note instead of a formal warning. A formal warning can be given if the behavior persists. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937/29 "2011-10-17T23:22:02Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > Key thing here is that a warning to someone who doesn’t accumulate warnings isn’t a big deal. In the long run, what appear to be overreactions to an out-of-Pit insult will restrain the discourse for the better. That someone else got away with it does show a bit of inconsistency, though not necessarily in the _if he can jump off a bridge why can’t I?_ manner. > > On a side note: **Ambivalid** , I’m not sure why, but I’m guessing you didn’t get the reference to the childhood chant/tease: “x and y sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g; first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes x in a baby carriage.” What makes you think I didn’t get the reference? I _did_; I was merely making a lighthearted joke out of it in specific reference to _me._ I even said as much at the beginning of this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937/30 "2011-10-17T23:23:03Z")
> [@TheChileanBlob](#): > > Sorry I got you in trouble, Jamie. When I saw your reply to my post I was like “Uh-oh, he’s gonna hear about that.” > > :smack: Oh, yeah, I wasn’t thinking! > For the record, I took your “insult” the way you meant it and wasn’t offended. I’m actually more insulted that you called me The Chilean BOB, when I’m quite clearly a female BLOB! OOPS! That is my bad. Consider it an innocent oversight. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Lare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/53a042/32.png) [@Lare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lare)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937/31 "2011-10-17T23:27:38Z")
> [@Lare](#): > > Wait. That’s it? We’re not going to have a lot of posters accusing the mods of a conspiracy or collusion or, or, anything? > [@Czarcasm](#): > > You spoke too soon. I had waited eight whole minutes. I was sure that would be more than adequate. In the meantime **Ambivalid** had made nice and moved (P.S. Thanks **Spectre** , for the edit in my initial post.) ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937/32 "2011-10-17T23:31:46Z")
I just want to ask one more thing: doesn’t the fact that the intended target of the _supposedly_ insulting comment does not in fact share the mods feelings that an insult occurred mitigate the offensiveness of that comment? ---
**Author:** ![Lare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/53a042/32.png) [@Lare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lare)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937/33 "2011-10-17T23:38:22Z")
Only if he’s the mod that issued the warning? ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937/34 "2011-10-17T23:40:07Z")
I don’t know about that, but Jamie I want to applaud the maturity you’ve shown in this thread. Nice change there handsome. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937/35 "2011-10-17T23:42:13Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > I just want to ask one more thing: doesn’t the fact that the intended target of the _supposedly_ insulting comment does not in fact share the mods feelings that an insult occurred mitigate the offensiveness of that comment? No, because in the end, you’re still insulting another poster, whether you meant it as a joke or not. You may argue that it’s a thin line, but where does it stop? Should “Shiteater ;)” get a warning? How about “You look like a fucking idiot typing that way 😛 ;)”? What if the recipient does get offended over it? My point is that with the inclusion of the smiley, it obviously looks like a joke…which shouldn’t get a free pass because then it becomes an easy way for people to fall back on the “But I was only joking” card if called on. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937/36 "2011-10-17T23:52:28Z")
> [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > I don’t know about that, but Jamie I want to applaud the maturity you’ve shown in this thread. > > Nice change there handsome. Wasn’t what you’d expect, was it? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937/37 "2011-10-18T00:12:06Z")
> [@Lare](#): > > **Ambivalid** , > Only a few of the mods have the ability to read your mind after a post and determine what your actual intent was. To be fair, only a few of the mods have the ability to read for comprehension, and determine what the actual words themselves mean. Add in context they have to figure out, and all bets are off. > [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > I’m going to have the warning stay, **Ambivalid**. You say you were joking, others may have figured you were joking, but that still doesn’t give anyone a free pass to call other people names. As has already been pointed out, if that happens, it becomes too easy to start to find a way around it. > “Oh, I know I called him a shit for brains, but I grinned. Didn’t you see the grin?” Incorrect - we can call people plenty of names around here without anybody getting their panties in an uproar. There are just _certain_ names we can’t use. Apparently, a smiley-attached “asshole” is one of them. Seriously, if I say, “really, you’re \*NOT \*a giant asshole - \” I probably wouldn’t get a warning. But replace that “_NOT_” with a smiley face and suddenly it becomes ancient greek incapable of being deciphered? C’mon - rescind the warning, give him a note, and let’s move on. > [@](#): > > My point is that with the inclusion of the smiley, it obviously looks like a joke…which shouldn’t get a free pass because then it becomes an easy way for people to fall back on the “But I was only joking” card if called on. Can you give an example of using a smiley where someone _isn’t_ joking? And if it “obviously looks like a joke” then what’s the difficulty? Preventing those too dense to figure it out from having their delicate sensibilities offended? ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937/38 "2011-10-18T00:16:49Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Wasn’t what you’d expect, was it? 😃 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937/39 "2011-10-18T00:23:15Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > Please don’t call me a tree. What if I called you a son of a birch? ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937/40 "2011-10-18T00:32:58Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > What makes you think I didn’t get the reference? I _did_; I was merely making a lighthearted joke out of it in specific reference to _me._ I even said as much at the beginning of this thread. See post #22 > [@Munch](#): > > Seriously, if I say, “really, you’re \*NOT \*a giant asshole - \” I probably wouldn’t get a warning. Can we get a mod ruling on this? It is/is not okay to call someone a “giant winking asshole”? If it’s okay, what about a new smiley for it? ETA: > [@Miller](#): > > What if I called you a son of a birch? You couldn’t leaf it alone, could you? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mods-please-consider-rescinding-this-warning/599937.md?page=3)