# Moles, doctors, lab results, and the modern man. A medical inquiry. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 18, 2009, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moles-doctors-lab-results-and-the-modern-man-a-medical-inquiry/506865 "2009-08-18T17:41:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![FalconFinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/51bf81/32.png) [@FalconFinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FalconFinder)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moles-doctors-lab-results-and-the-modern-man-a-medical-inquiry/506865/41 "2009-08-28T16:08:29Z")
> [@Typo\_Knig](#): > > What he said up there! > > (ETA: Not so much for the “weird moles” part :shudder:, but the “hoping for the best” part.) “She” not “He” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![wunderkammer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ed8c4c/32.png) [@wunderkammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wunderkammer)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moles-doctors-lab-results-and-the-modern-man-a-medical-inquiry/506865/42 "2009-08-29T03:18:11Z")
> [@wierdaaron](#): > > If the labs on the chunk of flesh show the spitzoidswallows extending to the border again, I think I’ll just elect for total face removal. [Another good reason for total face removal.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYgHB14uKQs) ---
**Author:** ![jellyblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@jellyblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellyblue)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moles-doctors-lab-results-and-the-modern-man-a-medical-inquiry/506865/43 "2009-08-29T03:28:01Z")
> [@wunderkammer](#): > > [Another good reason for total face removal.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYgHB14uKQs) At this point, I’m scared to click on your link. What is it? ---
**Author:** ![wunderkammer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ed8c4c/32.png) [@wunderkammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wunderkammer)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moles-doctors-lab-results-and-the-modern-man-a-medical-inquiry/506865/44 "2009-08-29T03:57:52Z")
Sophomoric comedy sketch featuring a patient with a perfectly good face. ---
**Author:** ![wierdaaron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/eada6e/32.png) [@wierdaaron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wierdaaron)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moles-doctors-lab-results-and-the-modern-man-a-medical-inquiry/506865/45 "2009-09-03T16:58:54Z")
Dear Journal, I went to the doctor again today to get my stitches removed, and the lab results showed that I am now spitzoid-free. -Aaron PS: Patty Mayonnaise is a bitch ---
**Author:** ![horsetech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dec6dc/32.png) [@horsetech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/horsetech)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moles-doctors-lab-results-and-the-modern-man-a-medical-inquiry/506865/46 "2009-09-03T19:16:00Z")
Sorry I missed this the first couple times around. Spitzoid? [Does this mean](http://images.google.com/images?q=spitz)that you are turning into an exceptionally hairy dog with pointy ears? Or is that an Olympic medalist swimmer? ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moles-doctors-lab-results-and-the-modern-man-a-medical-inquiry/506865/47 "2009-09-03T22:20:29Z")
**wierdaaron** - Woot!!11!!! What a relief! I’d ask what “Patty Mayonnaise” has to do with anything, but my quick googling of the phrase tells me I do NOT want to know. :eek: Anyway, I wish you a full and speedy recovery. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2009, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moles-doctors-lab-results-and-the-modern-man-a-medical-inquiry/506865/48 "2009-09-04T01:05:30Z")
Patty Mayonnaise was a character on “Doug,” one of the original Nickelodeon TV cartoons. Doug, like **wierdaaron** , keeps a chatty journal in which, among other things, he expresses his feelings about Patty. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2009, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moles-doctors-lab-results-and-the-modern-man-a-medical-inquiry/506865/49 "2009-09-04T02:00:16Z")
I’m glad they caught your problem and treated it and you’re on the road to recovery. But don’t freak out about all your moles- remember that the vast majority of melanomas start as new growths, not arising from an existing mole. Check yourself once a month all over and see a dermatologist regarding any suspicious growths (surely you know about the warning signs by now). Also see a derm every six months for a while then once a year. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moles-doctors-lab-results-and-the-modern-man-a-medical-inquiry/506865.md?page=2)