# Mom, I Love You But I Just Can't Handle You Anymore **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 1, 2006, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966 "2006-06-01T01:56:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2006, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966/41 "2006-06-01T20:04:33Z")
When are you getting married? Aren’t you going to be moving out anyway, or is (god forbid) your fiancee moving into your mother’s house with you? ---
**Author:** ![DoperChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@DoperChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoperChic)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2006, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966/42 "2006-06-01T21:21:10Z")
Wow. I am truly astonished and ever so grateful for the amount of support I have found on this board. I guess I’ve been so brainwashed by my family that I actually expected responses more along the line of what they tell me all the time - she’s your mother; she sacrificed so much to have you, so now it’s your turn to take care of her when she needs it. Before I respond to any one post, first some more back-story. Mom’s in her very early fifties. Back in January, we were working to get her into a rehab facility to work on her back. Before we could get her in though, she suffered a cut on her leg that required stitches, got infected, and wouldn’t heal. So I took her to the hospital, which admitted her. They got her leg fixed up but couldn’t send her home due to the myriad other health issues. So they sent her to a nursing home. The goal there was not to keep her long-term, but to rehab her well enough so that she could function at home. She did daily physical therapy, had a strict diet (lost over 30 pounds in just over a month), and was pretty well taken care of. Toward the end of her stay, Mom seemed stuck rehab-wise. She was in almost constant pain due to the leg cramps and eventually refused to continue PT, which was mainly walking. Once her insurance found this out, they refused to keep paying for what should have been rehab but had become her just laying there. So she was sent home. That first week was horrible. She literally could not lift her own legs to get in and out of bed on her own. Any time she had to use the commode, someone had to pick up her legs for her. A few days after coming home, we had a nurse come in. She was great, a real no-nonsense, tell it like it is kind of person. We still have her every few days to check on meds and such. In addition, we finally got a home health aid to come in during the week from 10-6 while I’m at work. This has been a true Godsend. Prior to the aid, I was frantically sending out emails and making phone calls to find what amounted to baby-sitters for Mom. We always managed to make it work out somehow, but it was still rough. So now I’m alone with Mom just about every night. My sister works most nights and weekends, so it’s just me when she’s not around. ---
**Author:** ![DoperChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@DoperChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoperChic)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2006, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966/43 "2006-06-01T21:35:18Z")
> [@OtakuLoki](#): > > Agreed. The problem is not that their families are where their priorities lie. The problem is the assumption that because the OP has no family of her own, yet, it’s acceptable to have her sacrifice her chance at such to care for the OP’s mother. > > What particularly worries me is that I get the impression that the OP is the eldest child, so the OP’s mother’s sisters may just expect the younger sibling to take up the slack. :eek: This is so 100% the truth. They have actually told me that they cannot step in to help because they have their own families (husband, kids) to take care of. I only have Mom and my fiance, so it shouldn’t be a burden for me to take care of that family. Apparently my relationship with my fiance doesn’t matter to them. It doesn’t require any maintenance. BS! > [@lavenderviolet](#): > > My heart breaks for you and your mom. She is obviously a very ill and troubled woman, and it is sad that her life has reached this level of dysfunction. But it’s also completely understandable that you want to be able to live for yourself and not have to be “Mom” to your own mom (while my own situation never reached this extreme that you’re now facing, I can relate somewhat to feeling that way with my own parents). > > I think Qadgop raises a good question. What happens when you try to control her diet? > Obviously there are many serious issues here that go beyond just obesity, but losing some weight might be the first step to addressing the depression and lack of mobility. > > I also agree with looking into the nursing home idea. Clearly this is too much for you to handle yourself and it’s not fair that you’re expected to be the sole caretaker, but yet I also don’t blame her sisters for not wanting to take on the responsibility. It sounds like her issues probably are too much for any family member to deal with on their own. It’s probably time for some professionals to get involved. > I hope that things get better for you and your mom soon. We’ve (sort of) tried the nursing home route already and that got us nowhere. Granted, that was in a rehab type setting, so hopefully a long-term setting will work out better. As for her diet… When she was strictly watched in the nursing home, she did great, losing more than 30 pounds. At home though, she just finds people to bring her food. She will con them into believing that she never ate lunch and they’ll bring food to her. I finally convinced one of her older friends to stop bringing her ice cream sundaes every time she comes over!! > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > I took the liberty of searching for posts by **DoperChic** with the keyword “fiance,” and found two threads: this one, and one from March '06 about buying a house. I found lots of laudable caution in that thread, so I’m going in with a default assumption that you, **DoperChic** , are not easily railroaded into a new situation that isn’t in your best interests (I’m also assuming the the situation with your mother is one that gradually engulfed you, after the fashion of a brick wall gradually being covered with ivy). Still, if it doesn’t seem to be an invasion of your personal life, may I ask what kind of feedback you’ve gotten from **DoperGuy** , wrt the high-maintenance mother you have? > > Oh, and just so you know, I really am rooting for you achieving most healthy _modus vivendi_ that you can find, given current circumstances. You have assumed correctly, my friend. It’s been this way in one form or another since Dad left 20 years ago. It’s hard to escape a situation when it’s all you’ve ever known. I didn’t even know what a normal family was like until middle school when I would go over my friends’ houses and they would just hangout after school and goof around. I thought it was so weird to not have to run around doing everything for your mother. My fiancé has been amazing through all this. He does what he can, but it’s tough because he has never had to deal with a situation remotely like mine. His childhood was as Leave it to Beaver perfect as you can get. He wants me to leave, but I don’t really have anywhere to go other than his parents’ house (where he is now to save money). We’re still saving for that house, but it’s looking pretty grimm with the market and interest rates being what they are right now. ---
**Author:** ![DoperChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@DoperChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoperChic)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2006, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966/44 "2006-06-01T21:45:21Z")
> [@Ferret Herder](#): > > **DoperChic** , you and your sister need, desperately, to work on leaving. Is your mother on some kind of public aid? Medicaid/Medicare? Those are good places to start on finding help. Also, **QtM** raised a good point about who’s feeding her now that she can’t get out of bed, and what’s happened to her weight since. Mom is on government health insurance, but I’m not sure which one, and disability (SSI). I’m not sure what she eats when I’m not there, since it’s the home health aid there now. It’s impossible to tell how much she weighs now. She was last weighed at the nursing home on a special bariatric bed. I’m certain that it has gone up since the only time she really leaves her bed is to pee. > [@Velma](#): > > When are you getting married? Aren’t you going to be moving out anyway, or is (god forbid) your fiancee moving into your mother’s house with you? We’re getting married in June of next year. We’re looking for a house, but it’s so tough right now. We’ve got about 20 grand saved and are still struggling to find something we can afford. There’s no way in hell he’d ever move in with Mom. I would be signing a death sentence for our relationship. If we don’t find something soon, I’m really going to push the idea of an apartment, if only so we have something concrete to threaten the family with. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2006, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966/45 "2006-06-01T21:45:54Z")
Try this for the diet…write everything down. Have the nurse write down what she gives your mom, and you write down what you give her. No one else gives her food without checking the Meal List. ---
**Author:** ![Viridiana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Viridiana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Viridiana)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2006, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966/46 "2006-06-01T22:01:43Z")
Second on the writing down meal thing and Fortieth on the gradually separate yourself completely thing. Your life is way too short to be dealing with that for 24 years (a third or fourth of it)…It does appear that the only thing that will really cause her to change is the realization that she won’t be able to make you take full responsibility for her anymore. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![DoperChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@DoperChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoperChic)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2006, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966/47 "2006-06-01T22:07:36Z")
I really like the idea of writing everything down. I’ll bring it up to her aide the next time we talk. Unfortunately, I think she won’t be as vigilant about it as I’d like and much of what Mom eats will still go undocumented. Still, it’s something. I also wanted to pop in to comment about the ads. They are all currently for anti-stress clinics and/or medication. Boy are these ads dead-on! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2006, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966/48 "2006-06-01T22:38:09Z")
> [@DoperChic](#): > > You have assumed correctly, my friend. It’s been this way in one form or another since Dad left 20 years ago. It’s hard to escape a situation when it’s all you’ve ever known. I didn’t even know what a normal family was like until middle school when I would go over my friends’ houses and they would just hangout after school and goof around. I thought it was so weird to not have to run around doing everything for your mother. Amazing. And freaking terrible. Ask yourself why you think you owe your mother anything at all. Because from where I’m standing, it looks like you owe her precisely zip, _and_ she’d be better off having to do something for herself for once. ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2006, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966/49 "2006-06-01T22:47:27Z")
It’s hard hating someone you love. I think the important thing to remember is that she’s the way she is by choice. She could choose to eat less; she could choose to live a healthier lifestyle. Even if you believe in mental illness, she could still choose to accept treatment. My mother is an alcoholic–I know how hard it can be to love someone who makes bad choices and fucks up your life. But ultimately there’s nothing you can ethically do to make her change. I don’t think you should “walk out on her” or otherwise abandon her. She’s still your mother, a hurting woman, and someone you love. But balance those feelings and responsibilities with your right to live your life and make your own choices. The next time she calls you into her room or makes a major imposition on her, refuse. No matter how she reacts, don’t be angry or spiteful–just try and communicate with her as honestly as you can. Let her know that you love her, but can’t continue to support her as you have been. If you want to move out, move out–but still do what you can for her, _within reason_. If you’re not strong enough to do that and enforce limits with her (and it’s _really hard_ so you may not be), then completely cutting yourself off from her may be the best choice. But if you’ve stuck with her this far, and care for her as deeply as it seems you must, then that choice will tear you up. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2006, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966/50 "2006-06-01T23:21:03Z")
I would ask the HH Nurse when was the last time your mom was completely assessed re skin integrity and possible ulcers/wounds. Someone that big often has skin breakdown in the folds of fat. Dead skin sloughs off and since they lack dexterity and long enough arms, that slough acts as a an irritant to the skin folds. Over time, this can lead to rashes, and breakdown. I see 500+ people about 3 times a year (usually they’re about 450-it’s rare to get a 500 pounder), and every single one of them has some kind of skin yeast infection or similiar. Perhaps she has some cellulitis of the legs. I can’t believe she doesn’t have some sort of respiratory compromise as well. That might be enough to get her admitted to a care facility and from there, referrals can be made to skilled nursing/rehab/mental health etc. I feel for you–no one should have to give up their lives for anyone else’s dysfunctionality. I don’t care that she gave you life–you didn’t ask to be born, for god’s sake. :rolleyes: How convenient for the family that you are there and have been sucking it up for so long. Don’t do this to yourself–you deserve as much happiness, and a full life as the rest of us. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2006, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966/51 "2006-06-01T23:27:11Z")
Has anyone ever told you that if you looked up co-dependent in the dictionary, you’d find a picture of yourself? I don’t blame your aunts for refusing to take care of your mother, why should they? That doesn’t mean you have to do it, or anyone should do it. You don’t owe her a thing, she owes you for about 24 years of psychological abuse. Your “sacrifice” of taking care of your mother is enabling her to lie in bed all day screaming orders. She’s helpless because she can be. The only chance your mother has to get well is if you walk out of the house without leaving a forwarding address. Doesn’t mean that she’ll get well if you leave, but she’s certainly not going to change as long as she has you for a slave. Get as far away as you can. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2006, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966/52 "2006-06-01T23:30:52Z")
> [@DoperChic](#): > > I’ll bring it up to her aide the next time we talk. Unfortunately, I think she won’t be as vigilant about it as I’d like and much of what Mom eats will still go undocumented. Still, it’s something. Then get a new aide. Take charge, baby! If you don’t get the help you need from the people around you, get new people. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2006, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966/53 "2006-06-01T23:32:41Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > Has anyone ever told you that if you looked up co-dependent in the dictionary, you’d find a picture of yourself? > > I don’t blame your aunts for refusing to take care of your mother, why should they? That doesn’t mean you have to do it, or anyone should do it. You don’t owe her a thing, she owes you for about 24 years of psychological abuse. > > Your “sacrifice” of taking care of your mother is enabling her to lie in bed all day screaming orders. She’s helpless because she can be. The only chance your mother has to get well is if you walk out of the house without leaving a forwarding address. Doesn’t mean that she’ll get well if you leave, but she’s certainly not going to change as long as she has you for a slave. Get as far away as you can. Oh, come on, **Lemur**. She can’t just dump her mom and run. Her mom can’t move without help. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2006, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966/54 "2006-06-01T23:35:30Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Oh, come on, **Lemur**. She can’t just dump her mom and run. Her mom can’t move without help. I’m not saying she _should_, but… why _can’t_ she? What would happen if she did? For that matter, what would happen if she died, or became seriously ill? Her mother wouldn’t starve to death, would she? ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2006, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966/55 "2006-06-01T23:40:50Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > I’m not saying she _should_, but… why _can’t_ she? Because she’s a woman with compassion and a feeling of duty? Yes, her mother has problems, and yes, **DoperChic** has been sucked into the vortex, but Christ, folks. She wants to _help_ her mother, not disappear from her life. I will repeat myself… **DoperChic** needs to get more medical help for her mom and see about counseling as well. As for the rest of the family, if they can’t donate time, can they donate money? ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2006, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966/56 "2006-06-01T23:44:13Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Because she’s a woman with compassion and a feeling of duty? Compassion, sure. The duty is long since fulfilled. > [@](#): > > She wants to _help_ her mother, not disappear from her life. I’m just saying that maybe the two are one and the same. _Maybe_, not definitely. ---
**Author:** ![Interrobang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/interrobang/32/17463_2.png) [@Interrobang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interrobang)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2006, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966/57 "2006-06-01T23:47:43Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > She can’t just dump her mom and run. Her mom can’t move without help. Then I guess she can just dump her mom and walk. Seriously, though, this is obviously not going to be easy for anyone involved. **DoperChic** is extra stuck because her sisters have figured out who they need to take care of first: themselves. That doesn’t give them the right to expect **DoperChic** to take up their slack, but they’re also not obligated to make sure **DoperChic** is taking care of _her_self. **DoperChic** : you need to take care of yourself first. You need to make sure that you are a healthy, happy human being. That is priority #1. Then, to the extent that you can fit it in and it doesn’t interfere with priority #1 (and any other priorities, like a fiance, that you might rank as priorities #2-X), take care of your mother. To the extent that the caretaking you can do doesn’t cover what your mother needs, find someone else to do it. Start with your mother, tell your sisters, engage home health aides or nursing homes or government assistance or whatever. Tell them (don’t ask) what you’re able to do, then ask them how they’d like to handle the rest of it. Give them a deadline. Stick to it. Do as much as you’ve said you’d do, and no more. It’s going to suck. Your mom is going to hate you, or at least sound a lot like it. Your sisters are probably going to be upset that they can’t rely on you to assuage their concerns, but that’s not your problem. Everyone involved has choices to make, and your choices are not dependent on the choices other people make. You can choose to be a martyr, but I wouldn’t recommend it. Choose to live your life. It’s the best gift you can give to yourself as well as your mother, your fiance, and the rest of your family. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2006, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966/58 "2006-06-01T23:55:16Z")
Why can’t DoperChic abandon her mother? Of course she can and should. Look, Mom is committing slow motion suicide here, and taking everyone down with her. She’s decided to eat herself to death. Staying around to watch her kill herself slowly isn’t going to help anyone, not even Mom. If Mom is truly totally disabled then she can live in a nursing home. She doesn’t deserve one ounce more help from DoperChic. This is a girl who’s been forced to take care of her mother since she was ten years old! Her mother is an abusive vampire and the sooner DoperChic can get shut of her the better. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2006, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966/59 "2006-06-02T00:00:06Z")
Okay, it sounds like we’re coming at this from different angles. We’re both saying **DoperChic** needs to get her mom help, since she’s drowning. I misunderstood and thought you were advocating she walk out the door and leave Mom in the lurch. **DoperChic** definitely needs to get more professional help for her mother. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2006, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966/60 "2006-06-02T00:48:09Z")
> [@DoperChic](#): > > This is so 100% the truth. They have actually told me that they cannot step in to help because they have their own families (husband, kids) to take care of. I only have Mom and my fiance, so it shouldn’t be a burden for me to take care of that family. Apparently my relationship with my fiance doesn’t matter to them. It doesn’t require any maintenance. BS! That’s a bullshit excuse for them to evade THEIR duty/responsibility. My sister was in medical school AND raising two kids, one with _serious_ medical issues, and was STILL able to put it all on hold and drive 300 miles to Detroit to help take care of our parents last spring when they were ill with pnemonia. Granted, I had to do the lion’s share of taking care of them for two months, but my other sister, who also has two kids and is now divorced _who doesn’t even own a car_ STILL managed to cover the 90 miles between her home and mom & dad every other day just to give me a break. Hell, half the time she brought groceries with her. THAT’s what families are supposed to do for each other. “Cannot step in to help” - what a load of bullshit. It’s an EXCUSE. Get the hell out of there - what good is this “family” to you? Will they be there when YOU need it? > [@](#): > > We’ve (sort of) tried the nursing home route already and that got us nowhere. Granted, that was in a rehab type setting, so hopefully a long-term setting will work out better. Try it again. Keep trying until you succeed. > [@](#): > > As for her diet… When she was strictly watched in the nursing home, she did great, losing more than 30 pounds. At home though, she just finds people to bring her food. She will con them into believing that she never ate lunch and they’ll bring food to her. In other words, she sabotages efforts to help her. Tell me - did she “sabotage” her leg wound, too? Shocking thought, isn’t it? But what better way to ensure her continued dependence and your continue sympathy? > [@](#): > > He wants me to leave, but I don’t really have anywhere to go other than his parents’ house (where he is now to save money). We’re still saving for that house, but it’s looking pretty grimm with the market and interest rates being what they are right now. Then GET AN APARTMENT. Stop waiting for “perfect”. Perfect never comes. Go for “better than what I have now.” Honestly, you’d be better off living with a “Leave It to Beaver” family that with your mother. I’ve been married 16 years. We still don’t have a house. So what? We have each other. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-i-love-you-but-i-just-cant-handle-you-anymore/358966.md?page=4)