# Mom "rewards" son for good grades. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 19, 2002, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565 "2002-04-19T19:12:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565/41 "2002-04-20T11:08:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tsubaki \* > \*\*non-native, go and open a Pit thread so I can have a go at you. Please. \*\* Settle down, folks. **non-native** , there’s probably tons of places on the Internet where you can vent about your particular dislike of a certain nation or its inhabitants. This board isn’t one of them. As you were. ---
**Author:** ![Anahita](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9a28c/32.png) [@Anahita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anahita)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565/42 "2002-04-20T12:57:19Z")
I lived and worked in Japan in Elementary Education, and I never saw anything like this. You’d think if it was common, after 5 years, I would’ve heard _something_. There are plenty of abusive, incestual child-molesting parents for us to get angry at all over the globe, so let’s leave the general population of Japan alone on this one, shall we **non-native**? ---
**Author:** ![Du\_Hast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f0a364/32.png) [@Du\_Hast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Du_Hast)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565/43 "2002-04-20T14:10:34Z")
[http://sexylosers.keenspace.com/111.html](http://sexylosers.keenspace.com/111.html) ---
**Author:** ![c-of-cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@c-of-cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c-of-cyn)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565/44 "2002-04-20T14:31:59Z")
I have LOTS of issues with this particular story (it’s hard not to, ain’t it?), but one particular part that I can’t seem to get my head around is this: is it common for Japanese boys to want to have sexual encounters with their mothers?!? Is it usual for Mom to be a teenage boy’s fantasy? I mean, it would make more sense to me if the son requested that his parents bring in a third party like a friend of the family or, even more likely, a prostitute. Mom? I was under the impression that Japanese culture has similar social mores as Western culture regarding the incest tabboo. Help me out here. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565/45 "2002-04-20T14:50:00Z")
I wonder if there’s some Japanese message board out there where they’re discussing Andrea Yates, wondering if it is common for American mothers to drown their children and if it can be explained by the strange and unwholesome quality of American culture. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565/46 "2002-04-20T15:46:23Z")
Those crazy folks from across the ocean, requiring good grades. Positively anti-democratic if you ask me. ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565/47 "2002-04-20T15:53:49Z")
Holy crud. Not to advocate what the mother did, but consider the flip side. As I understand Japanese academic life, grades are EVERYTHING. Students have to pass national exams every year, and failing them means the end of one’s academic life, period. This essentially guarantees that the kid will never achieve anything beyond work at McDonald’s. On days when the exam scores are posted, the government actually advises people to take the early trains to work, because failing students WILL be jumping in front of them. Seriously, this continues throughout the Japanese adult’s life. They don’t have a retirement or social security system like we do, so the goal is to work as much as possible such that they can guarantee a nestegg at the mandatory retirement age. (This explains part of Japan’s flailing economy…people are simply afraid to spend any cash.) In other words, failure isn’t just a matter of dishonor in Japan…it’s literally a deathknell. Again, not to advocate the oral sex, but when your culture is entirely oriented towards material success, stories like this shouldn’t surprise us (much). ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565/48 "2002-04-20T17:22:10Z")
Is there any reason why none of the links in this thread are working for me?😕 ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565/49 "2002-04-20T17:35:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SuperLorie \* > \*\* > Excuse me? > > 😛 \*\* What she said. :p:p ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565/50 "2002-04-20T17:37:45Z")
Is there any reason why none of the links in this thread are working for me?😕 ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565/51 "2002-04-20T17:55:27Z")
**ResIpsaLoquitor** : I was kind of thinking the same thing. I don’t know much about Japan, but I do know how important school and grades are. I know that I would get a small reward, such as going out to a special restauraunt or something, when I did really well in school, and I know other families that did the same. But grades aren’t viewed as that important here, and they are not the end of your career hopes if they slip occasionally. Perhaps, in the face of a somewhat “life-or-death” situation, it is not all that unreasonable to try and satisfy the needs or distractions that are preventing a student from succeeding. I still think that this is very much in the extreme, but I wouldn’t be surprised if a more common variation of it was something along the lines of parents buying/renting porn for their kids, and allowing them to watch it as a reward. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565/52 "2002-04-20T18:12:35Z")
But for a guy to need to get a blowjob to do well on his exams, it must mean the school system is far harder than it is here - I mean, I hardly try and do (relatively) well, so does the Japanese exam system really make such devilish tests? ---
**Author:** ![Minor\_Irritant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Minor\_Irritant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minor_Irritant)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565/53 "2002-04-20T20:14:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Weirddave \* > \*\*Is there any reason why none of the links in this thread are working for me?😕 \*\* \*\*Weirddave \*\*, consider yourself lucky. You’ll sleep easier. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565/54 "2002-04-20T20:41:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Weirddave \* > \*\*Is there any reason why none of the links in this thread are working for me?😕 \*\* We’re trying to protect your pure and innocent mind and soul from such depravity. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565/55 "2002-04-20T20:48:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by **Lamia** \* > I wonder if there’s some Japanese message board out there where they’re discussing Andrea Yates, wondering if it is common for American mothers to drown their children and if it can be explained by the strange and unwholesome quality of American culture. Now _that_ is a good point. ---
**Author:** ![non-native](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bc8723/32.png) [@non-native](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/non-native)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565/56 "2002-04-20T21:26:32Z")
After reading my second post again, i realize how juvenile and irrelevant it was. I feel kind of silly now actually. Silly and embarrassed. I apologize to **tsubaki** and anyone else i might have offended. If you talk to an educated korean about his/her feelings towards japan, maybe our animosity would be more understandable, though probably not reasonable. Some might mistakenly think it’s jealousy because the japanese makes better cars than us. The attempted complete cultural assimilation of the last century is only a part of it. Plus the deliberate embarrassment they put us through, like making what used to be a royal palace into a zoo. But I don’t want to go deeper into that. I think i went off on one of my tangents again. In the article it says it’s a somewhat common occurrance and not an isolated case, so it would be a little different from Andrea Yates. Plus, the article says the mother wasn’t charged with anything like statutory rape or anything of the sort. But then again, the article appears to be anything but reliable, allowing me to make an ass out of myself. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2002, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565/57 "2002-04-21T02:37:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Speaker for the Dead \* > \*\*But for a guy to need to get a blowjob to do well on his exams, it must mean the school system is far harder than it is here - I mean, I hardly try and do (relatively) well, so does the Japanese exam system really make such devilish tests? \*\* Although this is a total guess, I would imagine that the stress of school must be something like trying to ace an MCAT exam _every day_ for every subject. I know people who have gone into hiding to study for MCATs and GMATs and whatever other standardized tests they might need to get into their wanted fields…only in Japan, the number of students doing the same thing is so much more, and the pressure starts younger. I have the choice to write the MCAT if I wanted, and if I wanted to go into Med school, or vet school, etc. But I suspect Japan has intense tests like these for every subject…hence the “life-or-death” career wise. Of course, its possible to re-take a MCAT, but I don’t know if thats acceptable at all in Japan. Like I said, its just a WAG, but I know I’d have trouble dealing with that stress every day of my life, especially in elementary/high school!! ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2002, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565/58 "2002-04-21T04:54:14Z")
Weirdo stuff of an extreme nature happens in ALL cultures. This is just one of them. ---
**Author:** ![JonScribe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3be4f8/32.png) [@JonScribe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JonScribe)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2002, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565/59 "2002-04-21T05:14:45Z")
I dunno; sounds like a load a bulls–t to me. ---
**Author:** ![Tsubaki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@Tsubaki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tsubaki)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2002, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565/60 "2002-04-21T07:08:00Z")
**Coldfire** , I apologise. **non-native** , apology accepted. I know there are plenty of reasons why Koreans have some animosity to some aspects of Japan, but it really riles me when a person says “I hate the Japanese”, as if EVERY SINGLE JAPANESE PERSON had done something heinous to them. If you said you hated the Japanese government, for example, I would have nodded my head in understanding. Back to the topic…the school system here is absolutely crazy. This is one reason why we are eventually going to get out of here…just to give our kids a FUN education. As for Japanese teenage boys desiring their mothers…there is probably a higher percentage than in Western countries (kids spend a HELL of a lot of time with their mothers, the mothers invest all their energies into their children’s wellbeing, and the fathers are mostly absent because of work), but incest isn’t completely unknown in the States, is it? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mom-rewards-son-for-good-grades/104565.md?page=4)