# Mom's "Apology" To Friends Without Kids **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 28, 2014, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487 "2014-05-28T18:50:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dave\_Hartwick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@Dave\_Hartwick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Hartwick)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/41 "2014-05-29T00:06:24Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > And she’s hot too. I wish there was a common term for hot internet mothers. iMILF. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/42 "2014-05-29T00:07:38Z")
> [@Dave\_Hartwick](#): > > iMILF. I’ve heard British/Commonwealth English speakers use “yummy mummy”. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/43 "2014-05-29T00:08:32Z")
Strange, my mom managed to raise 4 kids and still have time for people. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/44 "2014-05-29T00:12:16Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > Jesus, it’s actually sad how much time the OP dedicates to griping about parents and children. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more obnoxious example of someone protesting too much. Two sentences? Has the internet shortened your attention span that much? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/45 "2014-05-29T00:14:13Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > Children are a full time responsibility. Any time taken away from the children is time taken away from providing for them, which is her full time responsibility. But, as Vinyl Turnip pointed out, she apparently has plenty of time to make youtube videos of herself and her kids somehow survive just fine. And I agree with monstro - my parents and their friends would have not been impressed if someone had sent them a home movie explaining that the someone couldn’t spare them a single moment because it was so hard to be a mommy. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/46 "2014-05-29T00:15:22Z")
And while I understand that your children are your lives, require your constant attention and are massive time sinks, I think you’ll eventually find that it is or was incredibly important to make some minimal time to maintain your friendships. Or one day you finally do have some time and you find that you don’t have any friends anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/47 "2014-05-29T00:18:32Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Two sentences? Has the internet shortened your attention span that much? :dubious: No idea what this means. > [@Merneith](#): > > But, as Vinyl Turnip pointed out, she apparently has plenty of time to make youtube videos of herself and her kids somehow survive just fine. > > And I agree with monstro - my parents and their friends would have not been impressed if someone had sent them a home movie explaining that the someone couldn’t spare them a single moment because it was so hard to be a mommy. Did you bother to watch it? Because that’s not at all what she says. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/48 "2014-05-29T00:35:32Z")
Children–especially infants and toddlers–are complete self-obsessed, hormone-ridden, screeching, screaming assholes. And like self-obsessed assholes, they demand constant attention and gratification lest they start screeching and destroying everything in sight. As a parent, if you don’t want your entire net worth reduced to a pile of smoldering ashes, you pretty much have to spend constant attention to your raging little hemorrhoids, treating them with the Preparation H of attention and discipline on a constant basis for the span of at least a decade before they can cope with their own anxieties and problems without constant and direct supervision. They aren’t like cats, which sleep about 85% of the day, or dogs, which respond to discipline and training. They’re more like little raccoons that grow up to tear the ever-loving shit out of your house and anything else they come into contact with. I give parents–at least, parents who make an effort to be responsible for their spawn–a wide pass. As long as they keep their children relatively quiet and clean up their more obvious messes, I forgive them for all of their social transgressions. I figure that whatever problems I have, theirs are multiplied in order of magnitude, and they can’t just quit the lease and walk away. Good on you for carrying on the genome. Just make sure those fuckers don’t end up on the public dole or in some kind of fundamentalist religious cult, and we’re good. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/49 "2014-05-29T00:36:59Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Have you considered that, just perhaps, the constant interaction with the toddler is only a convenient way to minimize interaction with you? I suspect you have similar complaints about “friends” with spouses, roommates, pets, or telephones. I wouldn’t go out and by a deerstalker, just yet if I were you. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/50 "2014-05-29T00:40:23Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > No idea what this means. You complained that the OP spends way too much time complaining about children. Chimera was sarcastically pointing out that it’s really a rather short OP. I mean, you’ve written as much if not more than Cat Whisperer on the topic. Can we roll our eyes and complain about people who spend way too much time complaining about people who complain about children? > [@](#): > > Did you bother to watch it? Because that’s not at all what she says. It really comes off that way. ---
**Author:** ![fuchsiagroan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9de0a6/32.png) [@fuchsiagroan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuchsiagroan)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/51 "2014-05-29T00:42:37Z")
She says she will get back to them in a few years. But, I guess, not so for friends with kids. Maybe it is having no interests outside of kids. If they are your whole life… Is it by choice? The mom replies to the comments on this a lot. Most, it looked. So no time to ask friends who aren’t talking about her videos about them, though. In five years. Maybe it’s video fodder but it says a lot for the making your kid your life. When they get their own friends and lives it’s going to be hard. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/52 "2014-05-29T00:46:35Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > You complained that the OP spends way too much time complaining about children. Chimera was sarcastically pointing out that it’s really a rather short OP. I mean, you’ve written as much if not more than Cat Whisperer on the topic. Can we roll our eyes and complain about people who spend way too much time complaining about people who complain about children? Yes. I was only talking about the one post in this thread. I made that clear with my follow-up posts. Wait, no I didn’t. > [@](#): > > It really comes off that way. No it didn’t. I thought she essentially said “I’ll still see my friends, just not as much and maybe under different circumstances”. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/53 "2014-05-29T00:56:22Z")
And it came off to me as “Don’t call me; I’ll call you.” Which is fine. But I’m not necessarily going to be holding spots open at all hours just in case you have a momentary alignment of planets. It’s academic at any rate because my childed friends don’t seem to find these speedbumps to be such unmountable obstacles. ---
**Author:** ![SmallBrownBurro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@SmallBrownBurro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmallBrownBurro)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/54 "2014-05-29T01:02:36Z")
I think this video is fake. The house is too clean and the lady looks too well rested to be the mother of a baby and toddler. However, I can’t see what prompted a pitting - it’s just a funny video. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/55 "2014-05-29T01:03:55Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > And it came off to me as “Don’t call me; I’ll call you.” Which is fine. But I’m not necessarily going to be holding spots open at all hours just in case you have a momentary alignment of planets. > > It’s academic at any rate because my childed friends don’t seem to find these speedbumps to be such unmountable obstacles. None of the parents I know do, either. Now, I’ve seen those types of parents on Facebook, or at least that’s how they come off. We see our single friends less often now, but we still see them regularly. But we have always been fortunate to have very active social lives. The video linked in the OP was more an attempt at humor than anything, but I certainly didn’t get the impression that she never sees her friends anymore. Just less. ---
**Author:** ![Skara\_Brae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Skara\_Brae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skara_Brae)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/56 "2014-05-29T01:10:10Z")
She brings to mind [these parents.](http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/post/85957232952/moms-dads-parentsplain-it-all) More examples [here.](http://www.mommyish.com/2014/05/15/stfu-parents-explaining-parenthood/) ---
**Author:** ![DataX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@DataX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DataX)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/57 "2014-05-29T01:21:42Z")
Somewhat annoying, but not THAT bad and I think it is a little unfair to pick on her for posting stuff to YouTube. I think we all (ok I know I do) have things that are easier for me to do - even if I wouldn’t have time for other people. That being said “pre nap or post nap”? Um I don’t have a kid and have no idea what your kids napping schedule is. I assume this was more to make a point rather than what she actually texts people. A couple of my friends have been pretty good keeping in touch even with their new found kid responsibilities. I am not one to usually spend more than four hours or so with friends - so seeing them for an hour here - a couple hours there - is fairly ok for me. Personally I would secretly judge my friends with kids against my other friends with kids. I find it hard to believe people don’t understand you have kid responsibilities. I am pretty anti-kid and I get it. In fact going over their house for an hour or so - ESPECIALLY if it is after bedtime (or they are tired) - makes me high five myself for getting that vasectomy :). Of course if she is their only friend with a kid - maybe it makes sense - and she looks fairly young - so maybe that is the case. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/58 "2014-05-29T01:31:45Z")
This is the same complaint that single people sometimes have about their friends who get married. All of a sudden the couple has no time for their single friends. I think it’s a stage of life/place in life thing. It’s sometimes hard to make the new situation fit with the old. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/59 "2014-05-29T01:39:13Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > When I visit friends with young children, I DO CHORES. > > If you know these people well enough to hang out with them and sustain a real friendship, you know them well enough to do some dishes or mop or vacuum a floor or cook a meal or run a load of laundry. Not just now and then, but every time you walk into their house. Someone ought to canonize you. That’s awesome! ---
**Author:** ![keturah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e95f7d/32.png) [@keturah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keturah)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/60 "2014-05-29T01:53:45Z")
Oh, for goodness sakes. This was clearly meant as a humorous video by someone who is a blogger to try to make a little money while raising her kids. It is not meant as an actual apology to her friends, nor as a public service announcement to those without kids that raising kids can be tough, it is meant for moms to laugh at and empathize with. Jeez. Isn’t there some cat getting declawed somewhere that you guys can get all recreationally outraged about?? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487.md?page=4)