# Mom's "Apology" To Friends Without Kids **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 28, 2014, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487 "2014-05-28T18:50:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/141 "2014-05-29T19:45:32Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Then she should have directed it at them instead of at her childless friends. Ahem. > [@](#): > > What’s Up Moms? INTRODUCTION Quick videos that we hope inform, inspire you, or at least make pumping go by faster! M-W-F 9 AM ET. Self-produced, we appreciate every subscriber. It’s free & easy, just click: [http://bit.ly/sub2moms](http://bit.ly/sub2moms) Does this sound like it is directed “at her childless friends” to you? Are you truly unable to see ‘humerous exaggeration for comedic effect’ when it is slapping you in the face? You guys are seriously humor-impared if you are actually taking offence at this. :smack: Not that it is indended to be rib-slapping funny - more a weary “heh”. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/142 "2014-05-29T19:59:06Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Childless person: works. Mom: works. > > Childless person: sleeps. Mom: sleeps. > > Childless person: hangs out with friends a lot. Mom: takes care of kids a lot. > > Seriously, folks, how is this complicated? Why are you subjecting me to your crotch spawn?! Are you waiting to be knighted? Gah parents are so self absorbed! ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/143 "2014-05-29T20:00:30Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Ahem. > > Does this sound like it is directed “at her childless friends” to you? Are you truly unable to see ‘humerous exaggeration for comedic effect’ when it is slapping you in the face? > > You guys are seriously humor-impared if you are actually taking offence at this. :smack: Not that it is indended to be rib-slapping funny - more a weary “heh”. Actually, I laughed out loud at “You’re going to be really strict with your kids. That’s cool. I severely hope you get a bad sleeper.” ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/144 "2014-05-29T20:06:28Z")
> [@Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](#): > > I’ve known my best friend since grade 5 (that’s 36 years for those who are counting) and we’ve never gone more than a few weeks without touching base—and that was when we were living on different sides of the country. I also have several friends I’ve known since 1986 when my family moved back to Calgary. Again, we’ve not gone years without speaking because, IME, friends don’t fuck off and ignore each other for years at a time. Your mileage obviously varies. 🙂 It certainly does. I have friends that I’d take a bullet for and I have no doubt would take a bullet for me. But we all have had times in our lives where we disappeared for a few years. It’s okay. It happens, and the test of a great friendship, to me, is to pick up just where you left off as if no time had passed at all. We all need “our time,” and being a great friend allows for this sort of time in both directions (that is, they give me my space when I need it, and I give them their space when they need it.) Friendship isn’t being joined at the hip and sharing every last experience as it is happening with each other. At least, that’s how it is to me. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/145 "2014-05-29T20:29:55Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > Actually, I laughed out loud at “You’re going to be really strict with your kids. That’s cool. I severely hope you get a bad sleeper.” I don’t even have kids and I was laughing. My favorite was the kid throwing the cheese on the floor, and then trying to ride her brother. That was exactly like my cousin’s middle daughter at that age. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/146 "2014-05-29T20:35:44Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > And she’s hot too. I wish there was a common term for **hot internet mothers**. I think you got it in one. **H** ot **I** nternet **M** others. HIM. As in, “Man, I’d love to put my weiner in him.” ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/147 "2014-05-29T20:37:05Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Childless person: works. Mom: works. > Childless person: sleeps. Mom: sleeps. > Childless person: hangs out with friends a lot. Mom: takes care of kids a lot. > > Seriously, folks, how is this complicated? I think you’re addressing someone who agrees with you. It was a joke. Or I’m stupid. Or… it was a joke AND I’m stupid. Either way. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/148 "2014-05-29T21:11:19Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Does this sound like it is directed “at her childless friends” to you? Are you truly unable to see ‘humerous exaggeration for comedic effect’ when it is slapping you in the face? I don’t read the description unless I care about the video. The voiceover was talking to her childless friends. I did assume based on the OP that it was titled something like “Apology to my childless friends” and I see that it was a much more generic title. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/149 "2014-05-29T21:22:41Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > I don’t read the description unless I care about the video. The voiceover was talking to her childless friends. I did assume based on the OP that it was titled something like “Apology to my childless friends” and I see that it was a much more generic title. Getting all pissed at the video in this thread is the child-free equivalent of China falling for _The Onion_. I can sorta understand people not knowing the context, but seriously - did it not occur to you watching that video that it was _intended to be funny_? 😕 It was sorta obvious that it wasn’t a real “apology”, just as, one would imagine, it ought to be obvious that no-one would seriously find North Korean Dictator Kim Jong Un the “sexiest man alive for 2012.” > **[Onion: We just fooled the Chinese government! | CNN](https://www.cnn.com/2012/11/27/world/asia/north-korea-china-onion/)** > > China’s People’s Daily Online reported as straight news the Onion story declaring North Korean leader Kim Jong Un the “sexiest man alive for 2012.” ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/150 "2014-05-29T21:32:35Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > It was sorta obvious that it wasn’t a real “apology”, just as, one would imagine, it ought to be obvious that no-one would seriously find North Korean Dictator Kim Jong Un the “sexiest man alive for 2012.” Oh come on. He screams sex! (And then he screams a demand that you be executed. But still.) ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/151 "2014-05-29T21:37:50Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Oh come on. He screams sex! > > (And then he screams a demand that you be executed. But still.) [Nice Guy] So it IS true - women love bad boys. :mad: [/Nice Guy] ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/152 "2014-05-29T21:58:45Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I think you’re addressing someone who agrees with you. It was a joke. Or I’m stupid. > > Or… it was a joke AND I’m stupid. Either way. 😃 Don’t discount the possibility that I’m stupid. If I was whooshed, my apologies! I blame my children. ---
**Author:** ![Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dread_pirate_jimbo/32/3897_2.png) [@Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dread_Pirate_Jimbo)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/153 "2014-05-29T22:53:08Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Um, did you actually watch the video? It’s intended to be a mildly humourous exaggeration, supposed to elicit a weary “heh” from those who have had the experience of being tired working parents of babies and toddlers. > > No “martyrdom”. No “sainthood”. > > These effusions - from the OP, from you - are like a bunch of child-free Don Quixotes tilting at windmills. Find a proper target for your outrage, because right now, responding with such venom to something so very innocuous makes you look mildly deranged. 😃 I’m sorry, I thought this was the Pit. I save all my spare rage for over-the-top ranting in here. 😃 > [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > Jesus, it’s actually sad how much time the OP dedicates to griping about parents and children. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more obnoxious example of someone protesting too much. > > Get the fuck over it, and quit reading mommy blogs. > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Yeah, out of my 48,000 posts, there must be 15, 20 of them that are about kids. I’m the original One Trick Pony. > > \ Out of curiosity, I did some research on this “One Trick Pony,” “griping over parents and children” reputation. In **Cat Whisperer** ’s last 300 posts prior to this thread, she made specific reference to either parents or children 11 times. That’s 3.7% of her posts. Among them were defenses of vaccinating kids and lamenting an increase in cavities in Calgary’s children since they took the fluoride out of the water. When I take the posts that don’t attack parents and/or kids out, I’m down to seven total (2.3%). Now I’m not a mathematician by any stretch, but if 2-4% of a person’s total output on a message board makes them a One Trick Pony, then so am I because I keep bringing up sports all over the place! Now, if I go into the history of any one parent who doesn’t like what **Cat** has to say, what are the odds that their posts about their kids will be more than 3% of their total output? Yeah, that’s what I thought. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/154 "2014-05-29T23:12:11Z")
I never called her a one truck pony, dumbass. Thanks for letting me watch how you chased down that imaginary boogeyman, though. It was entertaining as fuck. ---
**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2014, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/155 "2014-05-29T23:27:46Z")
That isn’t an accurate way to determine post/subject frequency anyway. The question isn’t how many posts has someone mentioned parents or kids overall out of all their posts. It is what percentage of the time are they likely to chime in when a thread concerns having kids, deciding not to have kids, etc. and with all due respect (and no problem with this personally) she is very likely to chime in to such threads based on a few quick google searches. Everyone is entitled to have subjects they are interested in so even if this were the case all the time it isn’t really something anyone should be annoyed about. What is stupid about this thread in particular though is that the woman in the video isn’t a ‘horrible person’ for making a cutesy youtube video that dramatizes the challenges of child rearing. It isn’t really an attempt at a sincere apology or explanation to anyone about anything. It isn’t intended to be taken 100% literally. It is very likely that the video author does in fact have some time, occasionally, to devote to friends and pastimes other than child rearing. It is a movie! A dramatization. You know? Kind of like the way Jack Nicholson didn’t really murder his entire family with an axe at the urging of a ghost in a snowbound, haunted hotel. A pit thread ripping him for being a horrible person for using ghosts and voices in his head as excuses to murder his family with an axe would make about as much sense as this thread does. ---
**Author:** ![Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dread_pirate_jimbo/32/3897_2.png) [@Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dread_Pirate_Jimbo)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/156 "2014-05-30T00:20:52Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > I never called her a one truck pony, dumbass. Thanks for letting me watch how you chased down that imaginary boogeyman, though. It was entertaining as fuck. Thanks for not reading my entire post, Cock Lamp. The quote immediately following yours used the term “One Trick Pony.” You merely pointed out “how much time the OP dedicates to griping about parents and children.” If you’d like to pretend this isn’t the same thing as being a One Trick Pony, I guess that’s your prerogative. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/157 "2014-05-30T00:22:13Z")
But…I don’t even have a truck! 😕 ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/158 "2014-05-30T00:24:30Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > But…I don’t even have a truck! 😕 But do you have a pony, huh, huh? ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/159 "2014-05-30T00:27:25Z")
When was it decided that the proper phrase is “crotch spawn” and not “crotch fruit”? And how the hell can you live in Canada and not have a truck? Isn’t it mostly snowy wilderness up there? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487/160 "2014-05-30T00:29:03Z")
> [@Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](#): > > Thanks for not reading my entire post, Cock Lamp. The quote immediately following yours used the term “One Trick Pony.” You merely pointed out “how much time the OP dedicates to griping about parents and children.” If you’d like to pretend this isn’t the same thing as being a One Trick Pony, I guess that’s your prerogative. That’s the dumbest thing that’s been said so far. It isn’t the same thing, at all. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-apology-to-friends-without-kids/689487.md?page=9)