# Mom's club application-This is nuts. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 2, 2006, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-club-application-this-is-nuts/355044 "2006-05-02T02:34:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-club-application-this-is-nuts/355044/61 "2006-05-04T13:15:09Z")
I never heard of a mom’s club before this thread. When did they start? I was an infant in the late 1960s, and a child in the 1970s. My mom socialized with other mothers on the street where we lived, and at school through involvement in the PTA. There were no formal parenting groups or mom’s clubs. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-club-application-this-is-nuts/355044/62 "2006-05-04T15:19:56Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > It is loney and hard to be a first time mom, and nerve wracking. You can say that again! In my case it is doubly so, my husband works abroad for 8 weeks, then gets 8 weeks vacation. I am not only lonely but also alone. My closest relatives live 300 km, some abroad, my husband’s family live in another continent. More than once I have thought that I was going to lose it, or at the very least I will come out of this first years with severe brain damage. If I start posting inintelligently, please remind me that the rest of the world doesn’t speak ‘gooo gaaa’ and that the proper word for food is not ‘yum yum’. It’s nice to see that I am not alone. I thought that I was a freak for not enjoying my daughter every second of the day. However much I adore her, sometimes I just want to start running and screaming. Particularly when for the umptienth time I have gotten her away from dangerous things and there she goes back again or when she refuses to take her naps. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-club-application-this-is-nuts/355044/63 "2006-05-04T15:21:20Z")
Oh dear Og, look at all this mispellings! I told you. ---
**Author:** ![Bookkeeper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bookkeeper/32/281_2.png) [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-club-application-this-is-nuts/355044/64 "2006-05-04T15:29:08Z")
> [@fessie](#): > > **Auntbeast** , congrats on your happy zoo day! > > That’s the big secret – kids are FUN! As much of a PITA as this whole job is (and it IS a giant PITA), the little buggers can be a total blast to hang out with! Even my 2-yr-olds, a notably difficult age, are great company more often than not - I just plain enjoy them! Just to hijack this a bit, I’m usually something of a grump first thing in the morning, but the bus stop for my morning commute is across the street from the junior end of an elementary school. Just watching the kids run araound and play while they’re waiting for school to start puts me into a good mood. 🙂 (Mine’s 27 and not as much fun any more.) ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-club-application-this-is-nuts/355044/65 "2006-05-04T16:25:25Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > I never heard of a mom’s club before this thread. When did they start? > > I was an infant in the late 1960s, and a child in the 1970s. My mom socialized with other mothers on the street where we lived, and at school through involvement in the PTA. There were no formal parenting groups or mom’s clubs. A long time ago. Some of this is in reaction to the smaller numbers of SAHMs in the 'burbs now. And that neighborhood demographics are more varied. When I grew up (I was born in '66), almost everyone in the neighborhood had a mom that stayed at home or worked part time. And almost every house had kids within a five year age span. Add in that all the mom’s were about the same age, that husbands were still “distant” and in breadwinning role, that we lived in neighborhoods where a lot of the families had “transferred in” from out of state, and everyone was white, and you had a ready made “moms club.” Now, life as a SAHM (or work part time mom) can be quite different in the 'burbs. More women work. Not everyone has kids the same age. Many women have their own friends and hobbies before they started having kids - and not a lot of time for neighbors. My neighborhood is highly diverse, and a lot of the Asian families are intergenerational, making for somewhat of a culture clash (not like race riots in the street, but not the “Mondays are at Margies House” that my mom had). When we moved in and had kids, the SAHMs were all disappointed to learn that I worked (and intended to keep working), they were desprite for more company. And being a Mom has changed since the early 1970s. It used to be a woman who stayed at home was a “housewife” - defined by house and husband. Raising kids just was a part of the job description. She is now described as a “Stay at Home Mom” - Mom is central to the description, and kids have become more central to the activity. My mom sewed a lot of our own clothes, baked from scratch, canned, gardened, ironed. My friends who are SAHMs do a different job. They bake less, don’t garden or can, don’t sew - but they do make homemade playdoh, get their three year olds to tumbling, volunteer more than my mother ever did at school. Then what happened is that you had Gymboree and Mommy and Me and other organized “play groups” And some women decided they could accomplish what they needed by basically internet personals looking for friends. ---
**Author:** ![Auntbeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Auntbeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Auntbeast)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-club-application-this-is-nuts/355044/66 "2006-05-05T03:16:24Z")
After watching Dateline last night, it was a To Catch A Predator day, it occurred to me that the application they sent me was extraordinarily unsafe. I responded to an all but anonymous meetup looking for Moms, the application asked my childrens ages, my name, my address, whether or not I am married, my phone number, my childrens names, if I would be available for weekly meetings, as well as a photo of the “family.” Most mom’s group list the times when they meet and where they meet. Now, if I was a smart pedophile, looking for children in my preferred age range, what more information could I possibly ever want? I know where the child will be and when, what it’s name is, how old it is, what it looks like, whether or not there is a man in the house and whether or not the mom can be “away” for a weekend. It may be far fetched. But I am now extraordinarily glad I did not send this info to someone I don’t know. I could have been potentially helped add to a sick database. ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-club-application-this-is-nuts/355044/67 "2006-05-05T16:38:32Z")
> [@Auntbeast](#): > > I HAVE BEEN DENIED MEMBERSHIP! Who wants to be in their crappy club for jerks, anyway? I don’t have kids, but if I did, I’d want you in my club. Your baby sounds lovely–I’m sure she’ll be very popular in any playgroup. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-club-application-this-is-nuts/355044/68 "2006-05-05T16:50:56Z")
But, **Dangerosa** changing the title of the role really doesn’t change the role itself. There are still moms out there who crave adult conversation and want friends for their kids. The was that is usually done is in face to face meetings at shared interests–hence story time, parks, activities such as Gymboree etc. The Web really doesn’t work for stuff like this, IMO. There is the huge safety issue like the OP mentioned and also there is no guarantee that people who meet in cyberspace will even take to one another once seen. In any social setting, we learn much more about people by just observing them than we ever can online. You (generic) don’t approach everyone at the park to play with Jr, you look, assess and choose people by any number of characteristics: body language, race, gender, age, clothing, voice-I’m sure there are more. None of that is accessible online. I’ve never internet dated, and some have had great success with it, but IMO to forge lasting friendships there must be shared interests and experiences or POVs–an application online doesn’t address that (unless the bit about '80’s music was an attempt). It may be harder for those at home to meet people of like situations, but perhaps online isn’t the best way to address that difficulty. Plus, this group sounds like a drag. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-club-application-this-is-nuts/355044/69 "2006-05-06T02:22:15Z")
> [@Auntbeast](#): > > I have a joyfully happy, easy going baby that is curious and adventurous, who fears nothing, loves everything (even green beans)… Thanks…I think. > [@](#): > > Right now, Kate’s best friend is the cat, except the cat doesn’t think so. Okay, this made me laugh. Cats are funny. > [@](#): > > The hilarious thing is. I am one of the most tolerant people you will meet… Maybe this was the very thing they didn’t like about you. Tolerant people are scary to those who cling to rigidly defined roles, opinions, and values. If these women are the type who would sit around and sniff “can you _belieeeeeve_ the checkout girl at the Stop’N’Shop had a ring in her nose?!” then they might not want to expose their precious little babies to someone who doesn’t really care whether someone has facial piercings or not. ---
**Author:** ![akira5822](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@akira5822](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akira5822)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-club-application-this-is-nuts/355044/70 "2007-02-28T23:57:14Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest] I’m just curious. Just how crazy are shit house rats? [/QUOTE] what makes shit house rats crazy? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-club-application-this-is-nuts/355044/71 "2007-03-01T00:02:57Z")
They’re willing to live in shit houses. That’s crazy, right there. And they eat brains. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-club-application-this-is-nuts/355044/72 "2007-03-01T00:05:31Z")
Zombie thread closed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moms-club-application-this-is-nuts/355044.md?page=3)