further, I think I’m one of those who said that most of the time, especially in early labor, one is comfortable. Of course, for some, like yourself, it’s not, and I’m absolutely positive you’re neither lying nor exaggerating. I’m glad you said you know it’s atypical, and am hopeful that you will not try to scare your daughters with horror stories.
One of the reasons my husband was so adamant about not wanting to be present during delivery of our first was that his mother had told him that giving birth was always an agonizing, screaming nightmare. He said he didn’t want to be there when I was suffering and be unable to do anything, that he’d rather just wait outside until it was over. To get him to agree to go Lamaze, I told him that I was worried that if I got anaesthesia it would harm the baby, that the only way to avoid that was Lamaze (true at the time), that I could only do so if he would be the coach (also true at the time). Therefore, if he would not do the Lamaze with me, I would be forced to have anaesthesia, and that if anything – anything at all – went amiss, I would hold him personally responsible and would lose all respect for him.
Another personal anecdote with a less happy ending. Between my two wonderful full-term deliveries, I had a miscarriage at about 18 weeks. It took two days. I could not be given drugs for all that time. It WAS an agonizing, screaming nightmare.
SmartAleq, we are tangential contemporaries. My younger is 29, my older is 33. However, I started in on the process a good deal later than you; although I married at 18 I did not have my first child until I was 26.
Here’s another story from waaaay back: my mother’s experience. She was a feisty one. Back then, there were no options. None. You went into the hospital, got given ether or some other general anaesthesia, the baby was born sedated, you woke up later, groggy and nauseated. You were required to stay there, in bed, for at least a week. My Mom’s deliveries were so quick and uncomplicated that the baby was about to peek out and say hello before they could start the anaesthesia. They put her out anyway. Later, at night when no one was around, she would get up out of bed and walk around. After a couple of days, she said she wanted to go home. “Don’t be silly,” said the doctors. “You’re as weak as a kitten. You can’t even stand up yet.” “Oh, yes, I can,” she replied, climbed out of bed and strode around the room. I miss my mom.
I had my first (10lb 1.5 oz) completely natural, back pain and all, more than extremely painful. An experience I didn’t want to go through again, so with my second one (9lb 7oz) I asked for the works, epidermal as well as drugs. It was just a great experience, almost no pain. The difference was night and day.
I was also one of those women that loved being pregnant, the birthing part was the only hard part of the whole 9 months to me.
My mother refers to my birth being in “the Dark Ages” – 1976 – because she didn’t really have any choice in what happened. I don’t know exactly what went on, but I do know that she would have skipped any drugs given the choice. When she had my brother eight years later, she had him naturally, and did just fine. She was also blessed with short labors both times around (five hours for me, about four for him). I guess she got lucky.
If I have my own kid it’d have to be by c-section, and that’s fine, but the rest of the pregnancy would probably be…not fun. I’m not eager to do it. I’d get fixed if I could afford it. If I want kids bad enough, I’ll adopt.
Speaking of catheters, I did have one as a kid following serious back surgery, and while they put it in after I was out, I remember when they took it out a few days later. The nurse was very nice but OWIE! That STUNG! It was great to be able to pee again, though.
Coincidentally, my mother just two days ago said almost the same thing Snakescatlady’s Mom said; she specifically said she’d been through dental procedures that she thought were much, much worse than childbirth.
I just wanted to say that I’m so glad I read this thread! I’m only 9 weeks along, but I’m already thinking about how I want to have this baby. I’ve been considering natural childbirth, but the thought of the pain really scares me. I feel somewhat better now.
