I remember back when I had no money. Getting a speeding ticket would be a disaster. It would make it impossible to pay the rent that month. I just got a speeding ticket for the first time in years last month, and while I was annoyed with myself, I just shrugged and handed over $150. 25 years ago handing over that amount of money would have left me shaking and sick with worry.
Am I happier now? Yes, it is much better to be insulated from some of life’s shocks. Yes, I realize that all men are mortal, and billions of dollars might get you the best treatment in the world but if you get the wrong kind of cancer you still die anyway. On the other hand, a lot of money means you don’t have to work in a coal mine and die of black lung at 45. You might die of pancreatic cancer at 45, but your odds of avoiding a lot of suffering are a lot better.
When I look at my (mostly) happy wife and kids, I think about how easily all that could vanish. One car trip, one doctor’s visit, one walk down the sidewalk, and the people I love are gone forever.
Money doesn’t buy happiness. But it can let you avoid some kinds of unhappiness, some of the time. That’s not nothing.
Today I had to unexpectedly shell over $400. For quite a few people, that’s a stress-inducing sum. That’s months worth of ramen and saltines for dinner (and no lunch). Or months without electricity and heat. A lot of people are praying on their knees right now for $400, with tears streaming down their face. And their friends and family are crying right alongside them, making them even more miserable.
But $400 was only a mild irritation for me.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it does spare you from a lot of sadness and stress. Honestly, I’d rather live a life that’s bland and neutral rather than one filled with highs and lows.
This, very much. I measure it now by being able to afford emergency and specialist vet care for my animals. I take pet adoption as a deadly serious, life-long responsibility. I’m aware that many people want to be like that but can’t afford to, so when faced with a high vet bill, they opt for euthanasia instead. I feel very fortunate that I can afford to plop down $$$$ for emergency surgery, MRI or CT scans or anything my beasties need. I am VERY thankful that cost is not one of the variables I need to consider when evaluating vet care for them.
For example, a few years ago one of my dogs was having pain. It took us some time to figure out what the problem was (long story short) and we ended up opting to have spinal surgery done. A few hours after surgery, in the middle of the night while he was in the recovery ward, the vet staff realized that his bladder had ruptured. It was one of those “shit happens” moments, because his bladder was nowhere near where they operated. After a discussion with the vet where I was told that it was reparable and wouldn’t cause him any ongoing problems like incontinence, we told them to fix it asap. I knew it wasn’t “his time” to die, so if we’d have had to euthanize him because of cost that would have been the worst thing in the world to me. He recovered quickly from both surgeries and is still my velvety teddy bear, proving me right.
There are 3 or 4 posters that listed a bunch of stuff that money can do to increase happiness, and then end their post with “Money can’t buy happiness”
Money CAN buy happiness, for certain definitions of the word “happy”
If I had enough money to afford to eat out everyday at a different restaurant, enough money to not worry about college costs for my kids, and enough money to quit my job and just travel around, then I’d be happy.
Happiness is made up of several variables; financial security is just one of them. Having it removes a significant source of stress for me, and therefore increases my general happiness.
What a great way to put it! GENIUS!
What a ridiculous thing to say! HERETIC!
While I was reading monstro’s post I was thinking, “Yeah, it’s definitely nice to no longer be one flat tire or one sick dog away from needing a loan…” I only have the one pet, but in the past even just paying for her annual exams/shots could call for a bit of financial Tetris. It is such a relief to know that I will (probably) never have to take cost into account when it comes to any future needed treatment.
If a smart shopper can keep an eye out out Karma Mart often has two for one sales on revenge however, which a key ingredient in any decent happiness recipe.
Exactly this - money can’t buy happiness but it can ward off quite a bit of stress. Last year was expensive - two cat health crises (over $3,000 apiece) and a plumbing crisis (about $6,500). All of these were stressful, but we didn’t have the added layer of stress known as “How the hell are we going to pay for this?” (Yes I am eternally grateful to my late in-laws and the inheritance they left my husband.)
And, it’s hard to change your basic attitude, but it is doable.
Learning to accept certain things can be a big part of it, as LSLGuy already said. If you’re hellbent on being a Bolshoi dancer with a BMI of 40, you’re going to be unhappy - because those are unreasonable expectations. That’s an exaggerated example, but there are lots of people who try their hand at things that anybody could have told them they were completely unsuited for. If you expect other people (all other people) to consider you the center of their lives, or if you expect those close to you to read your mind… you’re going to be unhappy, because those are unreasonable expectations. Learn to give and take, learn to communicate, and both you and those around you will be happier.
Learning your limits and the limits of your surroundings is a big part both of being the best you can be and the happiest you can be.
Happiness comes from within. You make it and you bring it with you, and wealth or money is not going to suddenly grant it to you if you are an unhappy person to start with.
However, there is no denying that having money insures you from a lot of the harsher portions of life. Like other dopers here, I’ve had times where I was literally searching the couch cushions to make enough money for rent. Now I had a very expensive December due to a number of factors but I’m ok with that, because I know I’ll recover and because I have the money cushion to deal with it.
I really don’t believe that “happiness comes from within” for everyone. I think a lot of people are unhappy not because they don’t have the right mindset, but because they are in truly terrible circumstances, surrounded by toxic people. Instead of trying to improve themselves and their mentality, they’d be better off putting as much distance between themselves and their present environments as possible.
Unfortunately, doing this successfully usually requires two things: 1) courage and 2) money.
A lot of people are also unhappy because they are mentally unwell. Money buys the kind of medical intervention and therapy they need.
Happiness is complicated: for most, being a generally happy person is just one of the variables I mentioned. No single variable will make you happy, but you won’t be happy without each of them.
There is no “key” or “trick” to happiness. It’s a complex balance of several factors that are unique to each individual.
I only have the one pet, but in the past even just paying for her annual exams/shots could call for a bit of financial Tetris. It is such a relief to know that I will (probably) never have to take cost into account when it comes to any future needed treatment.
Now I had a very expensive December due to a number of factors but I’m ok with that, because I know I’ll recover and because I have the money cushion to deal with it.