# Mongolian BBQ and semen **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 9, 2014, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888 "2014-10-09T19:39:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888/41 "2014-10-10T02:52:09Z")
What was it? Remains of an amniotic sac. The more difficult question is just what the fuck your butt gave birth to. You might want to bolt the toilet lid shut, and do a head count of your co-workers. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888/42 "2014-10-10T02:56:58Z")
Or perhaps is just good old fashioned [butt snot](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rectal_discharge#Mucous_rectal_discharge_.28mucinous_rectal_discharge.2C_mucoid_rectal_discharge.29). Gesundheit! ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888/43 "2014-10-10T05:22:13Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > I’m not sure how that’s so vastly superior to just putting toilet paper down. And of course, you risk getting someone else’s piss on your hands rather than just your butt. I would vastly prefer peehands over peebutt. Hands I can wash in the sink with soap. My butt’s going to be more difficult and cause awkward questions if my boss walks in. Also, it’s just pee. Relax. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888/44 "2014-10-10T05:41:43Z")
This is always the part I like to interject that grape pop turns your shit green. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888/45 "2014-10-10T06:32:42Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > I sense this thread could make it to [The truly great threads in SDMB history](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=508687) which hasn’t had an update since [this post.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=17047293&postcount=162) > > All this one needs is more fleshing out of the concept and some more exhilarating details. Counter-examples and enhancements would help it along as well. > > Anyone who has seen other candidate threads since January is urged to contribute a link to them in the TGT thread. > > Carry on… > > (Laughing myself silly over her.) 😃 I have a truly horrible story involving taking opiates for an injury, having a “normal” side effect, and deciding that red beans and rice were a good way to take care of that. And this thread is hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![kk\_fusion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kk_fusion/32/15276_2.png) [@kk\_fusion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kk_fusion)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888/46 "2014-10-10T06:52:16Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Are you sure it was Mongolian BBQ? Because semen in your underwear is usually the result of pulled pork. Good one. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888/47 "2014-10-10T07:01:13Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > Why did I read this Probably because, just like the rest of us, you were wondering if the words “pan-fried” were going to show up. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888/48 "2014-10-10T14:24:41Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > People don’t piss on public toilet seats where you live? Or you just don’t mind having other people’s urine (wet or dried) on your butt? The latter. Urine has an unpleasant aroma, but aside from that, its presence in the environment is not much of a public health issue. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888/49 "2014-10-10T14:58:22Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > God, I would have preferred the story if you had just straight up fucked the Mongolian BBQ. Seriously. My coworkers are awkwardly glancing around their cubicle walls because of how hard I laughed at this. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888/50 "2014-10-10T15:01:56Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Are you sure it was Mongolian BBQ? Because semen in your underwear is usually the result of pulled pork. Thumbs-up / Like / +1 ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888/51 "2014-10-10T15:16:40Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Are you sure it was Mongolian BBQ? Because semen in your underwear is usually the result of pulled pork. Well played, sir. > [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > But admit it. Whatever you were thinking was nothing like the OP. No, you are correct - I don’t even know what I expected, but the OP wasn’t it. Please tell me the waitress said to you as you left “We hope you come again!” Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888/52 "2014-10-10T15:54:47Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Also, it’s just pee. Relax. Relax? I’m not fastidious in the least. I’ve macerated monkeys, dismembered putrefying animal carcasses, and mucked out sheep sheds that hadn’t been cleaned for a whole winter. However, call me old-fashioned, but I prefer not to carry around dried flakes of someone else’s piss on my butt for the rest of the day. > [@jtur88](#): > > The latter. Urine has an unpleasant aroma, but aside from that, its presence in the environment is not much of a public health issue. I don’t care about its presence in the environment. I’ve used toilets in the third world that would make your skin crawl. (I wish piss had been the only thing on the seat…) But as a personal preference, I’d just rather not to have a stranger’s piss on my own body. Seriously, it’s OK with me if you don’t mind having someone else’s piss on you. Just recognize it’s probably a minority view, and most people would prefer to avoid it.😉 [QUOTE=Inner Stickler] I would vastly prefer peehands over peebutt. Hands I can wash in the sink with soap. My butt’s going to be more difficult and cause awkward questions if my boss walks in. [/QUOTE] It’s not an either/or. If you just wipe off the seat with toilet paper, you may wind up with piss on _both_ your hands and your butt. Unless you are planning to scrub it with soap, there’s still going to be a film of dried piss on the seat. If you put TP on the seat, you’ll avoid having piss on either your hands or your butt. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888/53 "2014-10-10T16:27:34Z")
I have some bad news for you about what’s coating everything in that bathroom. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888/54 "2014-10-10T16:40:10Z")
Porcelain? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888/55 "2014-10-10T16:41:10Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > I have some bad news for you about what’s coating everything in that bathroom. So why do you bother to wipe off the seat yourself (as you implied in your post)? Are you perfectly OK sitting on a piss-flecked toilet seat? ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888/56 "2014-10-10T16:52:15Z")
Because I like things neat and am willing to spend a square of TP to clean it up. I’m not willing to pull off a whole string of 10 or 15 squares to make myself an ersatz toilet cover. I would find it uncomfortable from a sensory point of view and slightly unnerving to sit on someone else’s cold pee, but not something worth freaking out about. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888/57 "2014-10-10T16:58:52Z")
I had it reported to me by a female cow-orker that it was the habit of some of the ladies at work to avoid the whole TP-on-the-seat nuisance by simply standing on the seat and emulating the in-the-woods approach. Gives added meaning to the old “shit on from a great height” image. Of course, instead of piss on the lid, you now had to wonder what they were tracking on their shoes – and where they had been walking. Some things just don’t have a simple solution (so to speak). ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888/58 "2014-10-10T18:41:38Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > If you put TP on the seat, you’ll avoid having piss on either your hands or your butt. I think it is colorfully known as an ‘ass gasket’. But, if you are merely covering a few droplets of someone else’s urine with a few squares, wont that just soak thru the (often) cheap and thin TP? Even those waxy, full-sized gaskets seem porous to me. As long as the seat appears to be dry, I am usually good to sit, and I curse whomever spreads a few dozen squares and having them fall all over the place for someone else to clean-up. Yes, my wife often comments on the disgusting results of women’s “hover” techniques in the ladies room. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888/59 "2014-10-10T18:57:03Z")
I have never understood the concerns over preserving the pristine character of one’s bun cheeks. OK, so I get a drop or two of alien wee-wee on my sit-upon - I incur this most generally in the course of dropping a load, with all its attendent splashes and skid marks. Worst case scenario is that I have to wipe off non-pooped-thru parts of my posterior ere I cleanse the Third Eye, and that doesn’t take much more TP or time or effort. I am not talking about wading hip deep in a piddle pool, but just not bothering with walling off the seat of the toi-toi as if it were a crime scene and I am NC-fricking-IS. I am a guy, so more often than not I am pointing Percy at the porcelain instead of giving birth to a manager, but still. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888/60 "2014-10-10T19:17:19Z")
Outstanding piece of prose there, **Shodan** , and if this thread has a chance of being **won** by any specific post, I will put this one in nomination! 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mongolian-bbq-and-semen/700888.md?page=4)