# Monkey butler my ass.. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 21, 2002, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-butler-my-ass/104782 "2002-04-21T05:39:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2002, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-butler-my-ass/104782/21 "2002-04-21T07:42:14Z")
Hope you drank some water before you turned in, **SexyWriter**. I am confused, however, by the ‘100 beers’ having turned out to be made of vodka and grapefruit juice. Is this one of those newly fangled things like the Tequiza beers which are made out of things other than beer? ---
**Author:** ![ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2002, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-butler-my-ass/104782/22 "2002-04-21T12:18:00Z")
That was awful! I want to genuinely apologize to all for taking up board space with my inane, drunken ramblings. As for the matter of 100 beers being made of vodka and grapefruit juice, I have no defense. I believe I was just thinking that the evening began with “lets’ go out and have a few beers” which then turned into a drunken rampage. Oh my aching head. I drank water and took advil before I went to bed. But I think a lobotomy would have been a better solution. L ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2002, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-butler-my-ass/104782/23 "2002-04-21T14:25:22Z")
At least you’re still alive, which is a good thing. I saw the thread title and immediately clicked on it. I’ve always wanted a monkey butler. A robotic monkey butler would just be cooler, I swear. And one person keeping a thread alive like that did put a smile on my face. I’m going to be thinking of monkey butlers all day now. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2002, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-butler-my-ass/104782/24 "2002-04-21T14:46:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SexyWriter \* > **I don’t want a MONKEY butler. I want a REAL man butler. Who will cleanmy room. It’s a mess. And I had like 100 beers.** There’s more than one way to “skin a cat”, as they say! You need to buy a keg, a metal tub, and a lot of ice. Put it in the corner and all you need after that is one large paper cup. No more beer cans lying all over the place, and that would eliminate your need for a butler. It would be cheaper, too! Problem solved! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-butler-my-ass/104782/25 "2002-04-22T01:51:56Z")
Damn, I wish this was Fark so I could post the image. A quote will have to do. “Mojo! What have they done to you?!” ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-butler-my-ass/104782/26 "2002-04-22T01:56:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SexyWriter \* > \*\*Hey, what’s with the camelks? That’s disturbing. Seriously. Explain yourself. > mmmm…\>I made myself eggs. Yum! > I love eggs.Anyone else hungry. > > I have to go to bed now. > > L \*\* What’s with the camels? I cannot say… I am not the one with a thing for them, after all! 😛 Maybe next time I see my friend, I’ll ask him to explain! (provided I still remember in two weeks’ time) ---
**Author:** ![GopherGod72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f0a364/32.png) [@GopherGod72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GopherGod72)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-butler-my-ass/104782/27 "2002-04-22T05:50:05Z")
Homer Member Registered: Sep 1999 Location: Kansas City, MO Posts: 3257 i wish i had amomnkey that dances to perat opera music and is a butler and wears a suti. he’ d be my monek ybutler suit dancer. –tim Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged 09-09-2000 08:50 AM OHHHHH for the ULTIMATE Monkey Butler!! I miss you Tim! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![PolishSausage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@PolishSausage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PolishSausage)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-butler-my-ass/104782/28 "2002-04-22T14:20:12Z")
My general impressions from reading the thread: SexyWriter is kinda cute when she’s drunk. ~t ---
**Author:** ![ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-butler-my-ass/104782/29 "2002-04-22T14:45:45Z")
Aww…that’s so sweet PolishSausage. But only when I’m drunk? ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-butler-my-ass/104782/30 "2002-04-22T14:51:18Z")
I’m just glad she didn’t actually end up getting a monkey stuck in any bodily orifices. ---
**Author:** ![PolishSausage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@PolishSausage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PolishSausage)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-butler-my-ass/104782/31 "2002-04-22T14:57:05Z")
It’s just that I find your drunken rambling cute. Your sober ramblings are, on the other hand, a bit more provocative, stimulating, dear I say … ‘sexy’? mmmmm…flirting threads ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-butler-my-ass/104782/32 "2002-04-22T20:53:35Z")
Ok more hangover advice for all of you kiddies. I should have this tatooed on my freaking forehead… Which would be appropriate since most of what I do with friends is get drunk and talk crazy talk. Mix poweraid or gatoraid or similar sports drink 1:4 with H20. It’ll taste kinda nastier but suck it up! Down about 2 liters of this. Flinstones chewable Vit C tablets, or something similar take ONE dose of those (or less, but no more than one). Sleep and evacuate fluids, in no particular order. The general concept here is you get dehydrated since you use 6M H20 and 2 or .5 (I can’t remember which) M Vit C per 1M EtOH you metabolize. DO NOT TAKE ASPRIN! Both EtOH and asprin damage your liver, and taken together the effect is amplified. That and I was taught in biochemistry that the body metabolizes Asprin before EtOH… so if you were breaking down EtOH and pop an Asprin you stop metabolizing the EtOH… ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2002, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-butler-my-ass/104782/33 "2002-04-23T01:48:49Z")
advil and tylenol are just as bad, if not worse. dont do it, folks. ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2002, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-butler-my-ass/104782/34 "2002-04-23T02:04:07Z")
**SexyWriter** … don’t sweat it. All good writers are either drunks or bipolar or both. Cool thread, and I hope you recovered enough to tie another one on this weekend! 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-butler-my-ass/104782.md?page=1)