# monkey fighting! **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 29, 2000, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-fighting/35030 "2000-09-29T17:38:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ubermensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bcef8e/32.png) [@ubermensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ubermensch)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-fighting/35030/1 "2000-09-29T17:38:38Z")
> **[Monkeys the new weapon of Paris gangs](https://www.theguardian.com/world/2000/sep/27/jonhenley)** > > With pitbulls, dobermans and rottweilers under fire from the French authorities, youth gangs in the depressed city suburbs have discovered an alternative way to intimidate their rivals - with attack monkeys. so…is this real? it says that french youth gangs are getting small apes and other primates to fight, like cockfighting and what not. this reeks of UL. but is it true? anyone have any experience in french street gangs? and i thought monkey fighting was only ok on rich guy’s boats, in international waters, where you can have fun with fireworks, marry animals, and drink beer before noon on sundays… ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-fighting/35030/2 "2000-09-29T17:51:18Z")
… and the monkeys _must_ be dressed as butlers. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-fighting/35030/3 "2000-09-29T17:55:09Z")
I don’t have an answer, but let me be the first to notice the Simpsons reference! Yarrh! … aww crap. Beaten by Uncle Beer ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-fighting/35030/4 "2000-09-29T17:59:44Z")
From _The Return of the Pink Panther_: “I am a musician and the monkey is a businessman. He doesn’t tell me what to play, and I don’t tell him what to do with his money.” ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-fighting/35030/5 "2000-09-29T21:14:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by UncleBeer \* > \*\*… and the monkeys _must_ be dressed as butlers. \*\* It’s preferable that they dance, though. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2000, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-fighting/35030/6 "2000-09-29T22:31:44Z")
Somebody is going to get parasites. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-fighting/35030/7 "2000-09-30T00:43:11Z")
- All da monkeys were kung fu fighting , these monkeys were fast as lighyening - In fact it was a little bit frightening , but they fought with expart timing - (Sing it monkey!) sexy kung fu fighter let me take you higher , sexy kung fu fighter let me take you higher ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2000, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-fighting/35030/8 "2000-09-30T00:56:49Z")
10 to 1 the chimp goes down in the third round! He may be quick, and his tool-using brain is pretty big, but that baboon has teeth like sabers and muscles like coiled fire. OK, getting back to the OP: _France?_ Why would people be trying to get monkeyfights going in France? France has a government moral enough to disapprove and strong enough to do something about it. France’s native monkey population is limited to the government and the military, who will only fight each other if a Bourbon is in power. The best way to get monkeys anonymously would seem to be to liberate a few from zoos, and trying to smuggle a raging baboon out under my coat is not my idea of a fun night. So, why not Indonesia or Malaysia, nations who seem to have none of the difficulties France does? ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2000, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkey-fighting/35030/9 "2000-10-02T00:20:49Z")
Pssssttt, Monsieur, voulez vous this here angry minkey? He has been forced to watch the Jerry Lewis movies always for a week, and now he is ready for the fight. Make me an offer on the minkey; I call him King Louie. Nice wig, oui?