# Monkeys and the Complete Works of Shakespeare **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 9, 2003, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099 "2003-05-09T13:54:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099/21 "2003-05-09T22:48:25Z")
Looking at the results, the monkeys wrote at least one sensible English word-“mass.” ---
**Author:** ![Quack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e99b99/32.png) [@Quack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quack)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099/22 "2003-05-09T22:58:28Z")
Another variation on this joke is: You know they say a million monkies with a million typewriters and a million years to do it could eventually write the complete works of Shakespeare. You know GWB’s last State of the Union address? 5 monkies, 10 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099/23 "2003-05-09T23:06:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by McDeath\_the\_Mad \* > \*\*Didn’t Peter Gabriel record an experimental album with a bunch of primates playing percusion instruments? > > \*\* Yeah, _Phil Collins; Uncaged_ ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@MonkeyMensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMensch)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099/24 "2003-05-09T23:46:23Z")
OK. So the Complete Works of Shakespeare are out. What about just the sonnets. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099/25 "2003-05-09T23:49:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by c\_goat \* > \*\*My local news site (newsday) had the following link: > > The monkeys’ output: [www.vivaria.net/experiments/notes/publication/](http://www.vivaria.net/experiments/notes/publication/) > > But the site is really slow or overloaded. Anyone know of some other place to get the output? \*\* Most of it is unintelligible. Here’s a little bit of it: (Hope I’m not sued by the macaques for reprinting without permission) > [@](#): > > sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss > vvvvvvvffssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss > sssssssssssssffffffffffffffffffffffffffffvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv > ssssssssssssssssffffffffvfffgtfghhffffffssfdddffffffffsffffffffffffffffsssssssssssssssssssssssssss > sssssssssssssssssssssswssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss > ssssssssssssssssssssaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa > aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss > swwwwwwwwwwwwwwhethertisnoblerinthemindtosufferrrrrrrrrrrrssssaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa > sssssssssssssssssstttttttttttttttttttttttttttttheslingsandarrowsofoutrageousfortuneeeeeeeeee > ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss and it just goes on and on like that. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099/26 "2003-05-10T00:01:35Z")
Not much for using the space bar, are they? ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099/27 "2003-05-10T00:22:16Z")
> [@](#): > > whethertisnoblerinthemindtosuffer > [@](#): > > theslingsandarrowsofoutrageousfortune Well, its a starts… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Rhosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sir\_Rhosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Rhosis)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099/28 "2003-05-10T00:36:09Z")
Since monkeys and most humans (me!) obviously can’t/are too lazy to Google, who originated this whole "monkey/typewriter/Shakespeare theory? What is that famous quote from? Sir Rhosis ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099/29 "2003-05-10T00:49:49Z")
WAG: Fred Hoyle? ---
**Author:** ![RexDart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b77776/32.png) [@RexDart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RexDart)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099/30 "2003-05-10T01:01:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MSU 1978 \* > \*\*Here’s some quick and dirty calculations. Let’s say you have a standard 104 button keyboard. What are the odds of typing : > _To be or not to be, that is the question_ > > Well, there are 40 characters in that string. To type the original capital T requires pushing the T and one of the shift keys simultaneously. Probability = 1/104 x 2/103 = 2/10,712 > Now to type the other 39 characters in succession is 1/104 to the 39th power. > So the chances of typing out this one sentence is 2 out of 10712 \* 104 \*\*39, > or 4.04 x 10 to the minus 83rd power. A room full of monkeys would never produce this sentence, let alone one play, let alone the complete works of Shakespeare. \*\* Okay, let’s see, I’ll type that with hunt-n-peck and see how long it takes (wouldn’t be fair to the monkeys who didn’t take any keyboarding classes.) To be or not to be, that is the question. 18 seconds in a conservative hunt-n-peck typing method, monkey style. So each monkey could type the requisite number of characters roughly 3 times per minute. That’s 1,576,800 times per year. That’s 1.58 x 10^5. If the monkey types the sentence successfully every 4.04 x 10^83 times, then the odds of a single monkey typing that sentence over the course of a year are 1 in 2.56 x 10^78. So a million monkeys combined writing power over the course of a year would yield 1 in 2.56 x 10^72 odds. Given a million years, that monkey group has 1 in 2.56 x 10^66 odds. But why demand that specific sentence? From the above calculations, we can deduce that _any_ sentence consisting of a 40-char string will have those odds of being typed. How many coherent sentences in one of Earth’s languages can be represented in a 40-char string? Probably millions and millions, so the odds of coherent monkey-typing aren’t as bleak as you paint them. Furthermore, why give the monkeys a 104 key board if all we want is English literature? For that, all they need are the 26 letters of the alphabet plus a space bar, and let’s excuse them from capitalization and punctuation, the monkey editors can add that later. That’s 27 keys, only a quarter of what you gave them. So the odds of the million monkey/years group typing your 40-char string are at least 4 times better for _each_ character in the string on the modified keyboard, plus the fact that they don’t have to hit the shift key, or the comma. So, a single monkey has a (1/27)^16 chance of typing “alas poor yorick” on a modified alpha keyboard. That’s 1.25 x 10^-23, or 1 in 7.97 x 10^22. That works out to a 1 in 50,587 chance that the monkeys will produce “alas poor yorick” given a million years and a million monkeys. That’s assuming a monkey who takes 20 seconds to type that sentence. He has an almost equal chance of typing “i am dead horatio”, or “my cake is dough” (Shrew), or “I am Sir Oracle” (Merchant), and a pretty darn good chance of typing “the fair ophelia”. If you add up all the brief Bard quotes, I’m pretty sure you’d be almost _certain_ to get at least one from a million monkeys, over a million years, on modified alpha keyboards. ---
**Author:** ![Wumpus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8c91f0/32.png) [@Wumpus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wumpus)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099/31 "2003-05-10T01:03:51Z")
“It was the best of times, it was the … blurst of times? Blasted monkeys! Can’t they be relied on for anything?” The monkeys-with-typewriters thing is usually attributed to 19th century evolution advocate T.H. Huxley, but there’s no evidence he ever said it, and the basic concept goes back way before Huxley (or even Shakespeare). See: > **[The Times & The Sunday Times](https://www.thetimes.co.uk/)** > > News and opinion from The Times & The Sunday Times ---
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099/32 "2003-05-10T01:07:27Z")
The answer lies in a thread in MPSIMS with a dozen or so 'S’es as its title. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Rhosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sir\_Rhosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Rhosis)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099/33 "2003-05-10T01:08:35Z")
Sort of on-topic, I recall reading an SF story that featured these monkeys typing, and the final line dealt with a faulty keyboard. They had typed everything except one word, and the frustrated monkey typed something like “Goddammit, the g is sticking!” Sir Rhosis ---
**Author:** ![Gotterfunken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/58956e/32.png) [@Gotterfunken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gotterfunken)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099/34 "2003-05-10T02:12:51Z")
It looks like they ended the experiment just as the monkeys were getting somewhere. One of the last things they typed is > [@](#): > > mmmmmmmmmmass Maybe it’s not Shakespeare yet, but they were definitely making progress. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Rhosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sir\_Rhosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Rhosis)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099/35 "2003-05-10T02:44:03Z")
^^^Indeed, I believe the monkeys were getting ready to type that old bathroom wall favorite: “The mass of the ass plus the angle of the dangle equals the scream of the cream.” If only the experiment had continued… Sir Rhosis ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099/36 "2003-05-10T02:56:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*“They pressed a lot of S’s,” researcher Mike Phillips said Friday. > “Obviously, English isn’t their first language.” … \*\* But don’t more words in the English language start with ‘S’ than any other letter? So wouldn’t this indicate that English is their first language? ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099/37 "2003-05-10T05:20:52Z")
My co-worker and I use “chimp-hours” as the unit of measurement for judging the quality of someone’s writing. I decent slogan for a new line of shampoo/conditioners, for example, is about 100 chimp-hours. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Bongo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a9adbd/32.png) [@Winston\_Bongo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Bongo)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099/38 "2003-05-10T06:51:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sir Rhosis \* > \*\*Sort of on-topic, I recall reading an SF story that featured these monkeys typing, and the final line dealt with a faulty keyboard. They had typed everything except one word, and the frustrated monkey typed something like “Goddammit, the g is sticking!” > > Sir Rhosis \*\* **Been a Long Time** by the late, great R. A. Lafferty. It was the first thing I thought of, too! ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099/39 "2003-05-10T07:08:22Z")
“It was the best of times, it was the…Burst of times?!” _Hits a nearby, ciggerrette smoking monkey_ ---
**Author:** ![Gerome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85e7bf/32.png) [@Gerome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gerome)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099/40 "2003-05-10T10:47:39Z")
“Ford, there’s an infinite number of monkeys outside who want to talk to us about this script for Hamlet they’ve worked out.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-and-the-complete-works-of-shakespeare/174099.md?page=3)