# MONKEYS!! Monkeys Everywhere!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 4, 2000, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-monkeys-everywhere/39633 "2000-11-04T01:16:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-monkeys-everywhere/39633/1 "2000-11-04T01:16:25Z")
Get em off!! Get em off!! I don’t HAVE YOUR BANANNA!! HELP!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MY EYES!! MY BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL EYES!! No, not the face! Not the face! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Why couldn’t you have just stayed in the jungle? Why?! \ \ ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-monkeys-everywhere/39633/2 "2000-11-04T01:22:04Z")
Smithers, this monkey’s going to need most of your skin. ---
**Author:** ![Plasmic\_Fantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c67d28/32.png) [@Plasmic\_Fantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plasmic_Fantastic)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-monkeys-everywhere/39633/3 "2000-11-04T01:24:23Z")
admit it, you luv that monkey luving. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-monkeys-everywhere/39633/4 "2000-11-04T01:27:08Z")
Are they RAPING you or just tickling you? ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-monkeys-everywhere/39633/5 "2000-11-04T01:40:11Z")
They left the jungle to become monkey butlers 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-monkeys-everywhere/39633/6 "2000-11-04T02:42:38Z")
[Dieter from Sprockets] Touch my monkey! _Loooove_ my monkey! Now we must dance! [/Dieter from Sprockets] ---
**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-monkeys-everywhere/39633/7 "2000-11-04T02:45:25Z")
And where did these monkeys come from? _thinking of that weird story about the guy who bought all those monkeys and then they all died_ Does anyone know of this story? ---
**Author:** ![monkeylucifer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@monkeylucifer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monkeylucifer)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-monkeys-everywhere/39633/8 "2000-11-04T05:10:53Z")
Oh come on, you love us…admit it. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-monkeys-everywhere/39633/9 "2000-11-04T16:56:35Z")
Wow. Looking back on this post makes me realize just how weird of a mood I was in last night. Oh well, what is one to do? ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-monkeys-everywhere/39633/10 "2000-11-04T17:32:33Z")
Monkeys, monkeys everywhere And all the shit did fling. Monkeys, monkeys everywhere nor anything was clean. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-monkeys-everywhere/39633/11 "2000-11-04T17:43:37Z")
How do you unlock a gold lock? With a gold key! How do you unlock a silver lock? With a silver key! How do you unlock a mon lock? Oh god! I’m just so laughing my ass off right now, how about you? Feel free to tell your friends, parents, teachers, students, bosses, co-workers, and fellow parishoners at any religious service you may go to. Tell it twice! Say you made it up! Tell them it took five hours of intense concentration and look pleased about yourself. ---
**Author:** ![BornDodgy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@BornDodgy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BornDodgy)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-monkeys-everywhere/39633/12 "2000-11-04T17:47:27Z")
Too tempting to resist: [http://www.geocities.com/cecil137/pictograms/MONKPOOP.jpg](http://www.geocities.com/cecil137/pictograms/MONKPOOP.jpg) with regards dodgy monkey phoning home ---
**Author:** ![BornDodgy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@BornDodgy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BornDodgy)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkeys-monkeys-everywhere/39633/13 "2000-11-04T17:48:43Z")
Too tempting to resist: [http://www.geocities.com/cecil137/pictograms/MONKPOOP.jpg](http://www.geocities.com/cecil137/pictograms/MONKPOOP.jpg) with regards dodgy there are more monkeys on earth than you might think… especially in Britain…