# Monkubines: a business proposal **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 4, 2009, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247 "2009-08-04T01:26:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/61 "2009-08-05T07:33:01Z")
I thought that this was going to be about sex with monks. ---
**Author:** ![bannerrefugee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c68b51/32.png) [@bannerrefugee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bannerrefugee)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/62 "2009-08-05T07:57:10Z")
For those of you that think the Limerick above is to violent for a family web site like this one, you are welcome to replace lines 3 and four with: But sex with a chimp Makes me go limp ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/63 "2009-08-05T08:03:48Z")
I think the OP’s idea has some merit, actually. I’ve changed my mind. I think that there might be something to be said for fucking an ape. But the only way to find out is to actually do it yourself. Imagine being an architect who’s never lifted a stone? Or a general who’s never fired a shot? The OP needs to do some first-hand research: fuck an ape. If you’re lucky, you won’t get stuck with one of the ugly ones. ---
**Author:** ![Lobot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce7236/32.png) [@Lobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobot)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/64 "2009-08-05T08:38:27Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > Worst idea I’ve ever seen proposed here. Maybe anywhere. Combines the worst aspects of Dr. Josef Mengele’s work with animal cruelty, slavery, perversion, objectification, glorification of plastic surgery, and the general descent of Man into degeneracy. I don’t know what this says about me, but **Sailboat** , your post made me laugh harder than I ever have before while reading the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/65 "2009-08-05T12:43:23Z")
> [@bannerrefugee](#): > > For those of you that think the Limerick above is to violent for a family web site like this one, you are welcome to replace lines 3 and four with: > > But sex with a chimp > Makes me go limp Yeah, that’s totally more family friendly. 😛 So, when’s the OP going to come back and elaborate on how we’ve all stepped into his cleverly constructed rhetoric trap, because the child would have grown up to be Beethoven and we’ve just helped Hitler rise to power? ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/66 "2009-08-05T14:26:35Z")
I suppose if you practiced S&M with the ape it would be spanking the monkey. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/67 "2009-08-05T14:49:20Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > Worst idea I’ve ever seen proposed here. Maybe anywhere. Combines the worst aspects of Dr. Josef Mengele’s work with animal cruelty, slavery, perversion, objectification, glorification of plastic surgery, and the general descent of Man into degeneracy. Don’t forget Dr. Moreau. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/68 "2009-08-05T15:05:59Z")
I too expected this to be about some sort of Holy Order-themed prostitution ring. Which has definitely got to be a valid business proposition in the right jurisdiction. If the term “monkubines” is already taken, may I suggest “obscenobites”?\* \*And the act, of course, would be a “cloisterf\*\*k”. ---
**Author:** ![nikonikosuru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@nikonikosuru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikonikosuru)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/69 "2009-08-05T16:20:59Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > I too expected this to be about some sort of Holy Order-themed prostitution ring. Which has definitely got to be a valid business proposition in the right jurisdiction. > > If the term “monkubines” is already taken, may I suggest “obscenobites”?\* > > \*And the act, of course, would be a “cloisterf\*\*k”. Nice. I’m partial to “assetics”, myself. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/70 "2009-08-05T16:22:43Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Anyway, I’m done, carry on. Don’t forget to wipe and flush. Anyway; my goodness, the questions people will ask on this board. And the answers people give! This is right up there with the shoot-your-child-in-the-burning-car thread. I still love this place sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/71 "2009-08-05T18:39:16Z")
Bonobimbos? ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/72 "2009-08-05T18:43:36Z")
Girlrillas? It would only work for some of your customers, though. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/73 "2009-08-05T19:05:05Z")
Oh, man, I totally thought this was going to be about a sex service for monks. I mean, talk about filling a niche! _snerk_ ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2009, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/74 "2009-08-05T19:19:43Z")
How about a monkey with 4 asses? Can we make that happen? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/75 "2009-08-06T05:20:08Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Bonobimbos? Nice. But I think bimbonobos has a better ring to it. Paramourangatang? Chimpanfloozy? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/76 "2009-08-06T05:40:51Z")
> [@Jerseyman](#): > > I think you’ll find sex with animals is legal in Nevada (because never been made illegal) and there is a ‘ranch’ there specialising in it. I have nothing against it but I’m in deep doo-doo for admitting to a lady I got on well with that if she can’t enjoy it, neither can I, and that is whole lot different from just wanting anything to provide a screw/wank. My thrills derive from her thrills, not from ‘service’. Wait, you’re in trouble for that? you’d think that after hearing that, most women would want to mass market and sell you at five grand a pop. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/77 "2009-08-06T05:59:16Z")
The ad at the bottom of the page now is for New Ape Videos, which have a whole new meaning for me now. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/78 "2009-08-06T06:17:30Z")
Anthropowhores ? Simiansluts ? Seximians ? Lemuritas ? ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/79 "2009-08-06T06:30:11Z")
Troglo-dates? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/80 "2009-08-06T06:38:40Z")
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