# Monkubines: a business proposal **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 4, 2009, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247 "2009-08-04T01:26:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Lars\_Aruns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c68b51/32.png) [@Lars\_Aruns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lars_Aruns)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/81 "2009-08-06T06:41:44Z")
Did the OP ever come back to this thread? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/82 "2009-08-06T07:46:34Z")
> [@Lars\_Aruns](#): > > Did the OP ever come back to this thread? Not to post, at least. ---
**Author:** ![SmashTheState](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@SmashTheState](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmashTheState)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/83 "2009-08-06T09:47:15Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Not to post, at least. Just quietly enjoying the responses. It’s not actually a gotcha. I really have annoyed and disgusted my friends over the years with constant discussion of the pros and cons of having a three-foot, poop-flinging, sexually insatiable Jessica Alba in one’s garage, whose conversational skills consist entirely of mournful hoots and who, when angered, is likely to tear off one of your legs and beat you to death with it. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/84 "2009-08-06T09:59:37Z")
Well, my friend, the question you need to be asking yourself is: would Nestor Makhno approve? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/85 "2009-08-06T11:07:56Z")
> [@SmashTheState](#): > > I really have annoyed and disgusted my friends over the years with constant discussion of the pros and cons of having a three-foot, poop-flinging, sexually insatiable Jessica Alba in one’s garage, whose conversational skills consist entirely of mournful hoots and who, when angered, is likely to tear off one of your legs and beat you to death with it. How would this differ from the real Jessica Alba? ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/86 "2009-08-06T15:10:40Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > How would this differ from the real Jessica Alba? This is such a lazy, stupid joke, especially when the real answer is so obvious. The _real_ Jessica Alba would get her agent to rip your legs off. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2009, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/87 "2009-08-06T15:34:32Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > This is such a lazy, stupid joke, especially when the real answer is so obvious. > > The _real_ Jessica Alba would get her agent to rip your legs off. And the monkey Alba will do nudity on camera. Or off camera. Or just whenever. ---
**Author:** ![aNewLeaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@aNewLeaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aNewLeaf)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/88 "2013-08-04T00:23:34Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > Worst idea I’ve ever seen proposed here. Maybe anywhere. Combines the worst aspects of Dr. Josef Mengele’s work with animal cruelty, slavery, perversion, objectification, glorification of plastic surgery, and the general descent of Man into degeneracy. Years later, still true. One of the worst ideas ever- and one of the funniest threads I’ve seen in a long time. Bumping for your pleasure. Or your horror. Topic I was searching for was in no way related, I assure you. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/89 "2013-08-04T01:44:50Z")
Don’t bother: it turns out we were an unwitting focus group for a porno remake of _Conquest of the Planet of the Apes_. It languishes in development Hell. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/90 "2013-08-04T01:53:36Z")
[Cecil discusses a negative point about getting physical with other primates](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2/can-a-90-lb-chimp-clobber-a-full-grown-man). ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/91 "2013-08-04T18:18:22Z")
Related topic: I read this book recently: > **[The Violinist's Thumb: And Other Lost Tales of Love, War, and Genius, as Written...](https://www.amazon.ca/Violinists-Thumb-Genius-Written-Genetic/dp/0316182311)** > > The Violinist's Thumb: And Other Lost Tales of Love, War, and Genius, as Written by Our Genetic Code: Kean, Sam: 9780316182317: Books - Amazon.ca In it, the author details an attempt by Soviet sientists to create man/Chimp hybrids, or “humanzees”. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/92 "2013-08-04T19:05:13Z")
I was struck by the word humanzee, and realized that: The dominant male of our proposed troop of sex apes would be the Pimpanzee. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/93 "2013-08-04T19:45:27Z")
I’d tappanzee that ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/94 "2013-08-04T20:43:05Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > And human women don’t typically shit everywhere. Arent we excepting Amanda Bynes? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/95 "2013-08-04T22:18:24Z")
> [@aNewLeaf](#): > > Topic I was searching for was in no way related, I assure you. Uh-huh. Sure. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/96 "2013-08-04T23:15:40Z")
I managed to read the word in the thread title as “monkupines” - and so dove into the thread wondering what use a cross between a monkey and a porcupine might be. Answer: about as much use as what the OP proposed. ---
**Author:** ![aNewLeaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@aNewLeaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aNewLeaf)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2013, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/97 "2013-08-04T23:27:13Z")
“But how did he…” “very carefully” ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/98 "2013-08-05T15:44:57Z")
Ah, good old Smashy. I always found it most amusing that the State he wanted to smash was Canada. Didn’t he get banned after **Giraffe** accused him of embezzling panhandler funds and funneling them to Paul Watson and the Sea Shepherds? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/99 "2013-08-05T17:32:26Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > I’d tappanzee that Just trying to bridge the gap between species, huh? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![sylmar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@sylmar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sylmar)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247/100 "2013-08-05T23:35:04Z")
So your business proposition basically eliminates the middleman so they can act on their own behalf has organ grinders? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monkubines-a-business-proposal/505247.md?page=6)