# Monogamy is for idiots **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 12, 2010, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monogamy-is-for-idiots/546375 "2010-07-12T09:16:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monogamy-is-for-idiots/546375/121 "2010-07-16T14:45:27Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > Well, as I understand it true polyamory isn’t just a bunch of random one-night stands, it just means you love more than one person. > > That aside…yeah, what I quoted basically is what makes it okay. In relationships, consensus makes anything okay (aside from what’s actually illegal, of course). Any guy that wants more than one wife, never had one wife (maybe it works in misogynistic soieties but it would probably send you to an early grave in a modern western society. Its tough enough to be wrong all the time, it would be murder to be wrong TWICE all the time). ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monogamy-is-for-idiots/546375/122 "2010-07-16T14:51:34Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > As for “women being reluctant/victimized” I invite you to do a cursory web search–I find there are plenty of women who are out there looking for a polyamory-acceptable relationship. The more things change… > [@](#): > > Now granted, I also find there are a lot of men out there who are claiming to be polyamorous when they are really just looking for a reason to sleep around–polyamory implies commitment to the rules of the relationship(s) and looking for more than just a lay. The more they stay the same. I don’t know when it happened, but at some point I stopped being impressed by guys that slept around. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monogamy-is-for-idiots/546375/123 "2010-07-16T15:49:56Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I absolutely do not want to have sex with anyone until I am in a committed, monogamous relationship with them (preferably marriage, which adds the weight of law to the commitment). It doesn’t matter how attracted to someone I am–I do not want to have sex with them. Isn’t the definition of “attracted to someone”, “I want to have sex with them”? Depends on your definition of “want to”, I guess. It seems pointless nitpicking to insist that if I want to eat a chocolate cake, but don’t because I’m trying to lose weight, that I don’t really want to eat the chocolate cake. That implies that there’s no difference between wanting something and doing it. There are 1000 things every day that I want to do, but I don’t, because I have other things that I have to do. Like, not go to jail, not get punched in the face, not get fired from my job, not make my children cry, and on and on. So when you tell me when the alarm clock rings at 5:30 in the morning and I haul my sorry ass to work, I don’t really want to go back to bed, because if I really wanted to go back to bed I’d do it. So what I really want, what I desire, what I crave, is to go to work. But you know, not really. I really do want to go back to bed, but I don’t because I’ve got bills to pay. I have desires, but I manage to control those desires and act like a decent human being. So even though when I pass the receptionist’s desk in the morning I want to reach over and grab her tits and throw her down on the floor, instead I just say “good morning”, turn my eyes away, and keep walking. And this is because there are at least 100 reasons why grabbing her tits would be a horrible idea. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to grab her tits. ---
**Author:** ![Stoneburg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Stoneburg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoneburg)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monogamy-is-for-idiots/546375/124 "2010-07-16T16:18:59Z")
Biologically I think monogamy is for women, not for idiots. Scientifically I remember reading that men with high IQ’s are more likely to be monogamist than “idiots”. I’m not saying that an infinite harem of Megan Fox/Natalie Portman clones isn’t an attractive fantasy, but serial monogamy has a lot of benefits and is also a bit more realistic. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monogamy-is-for-idiots/546375/125 "2010-07-16T18:21:41Z")
> [@Damuri\_Ajashi](#): > > Any guy that wants more than one wife, never had one wife (maybe it works in misogynistic soieties but it would probably send you to an early grave in a modern western society. Its tough enough to be wrong all the time, it would be murder to be wrong TWICE all the time). MEN ARE FROM MARS WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS AMIRITE LOL LOL LOL LOL OLOLOLOL If this is what your marriage is like, get yourself a wife who isn’t an immature bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monogamy-is-for-idiots/546375/126 "2010-07-16T20:55:04Z")
What Shot From Guns said. Also, > [@Damuri\_Ajashi](#): > > I don’t know when it happened, but at some point I stopped being impressed by guys that slept around. Interestingly, I feel the same way. Your definition of “slept around” may well differ from mine in a few particulars. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monogamy-is-for-idiots/546375.md?page=6)