# Montfort, in here please **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 1, 2000, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768 "2000-08-01T22:48:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Frannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Frannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frannie)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768/81 "2000-08-03T05:05:56Z")
I’m not sure that they’re drunk, but I really _do_ believe they _are_ nuts. Just remember, you heard it here first. It’ll all come out. (We really must handle them with care though, you know?) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768/82 "2000-08-03T05:19:36Z")
Well, I’m just talking about who they haven’t selected \* yet; \* getting into the ordering of their choices would be a long, involved, and painful process. And it would surely get me in trouble with someone… 🙂 I’ll give them two more choices each, and if they still need a smacking upside the head, well, you can bet they’re gonna get it. ---
**Author:** ![Frannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Frannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frannie)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768/83 "2000-08-03T05:23:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Myrr21 \* > \*\*And it would surely get me in trouble with someone… 🙂 > \*\* Yeah, you wouldn’t wanna do that. Silly _you_! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768/84 "2000-08-03T08:18:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > \*\*DRY, your baseball talk is turning me on! Stop, or the others will be telling US to get a rooom! > > I’ve got excellent coordination, you know… I _always_ keep my eye on the balls…er, ball… \*\* Yes, but what worries me is the gossip that you swing both ways. ::fleeing:: ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768/85 "2000-08-03T08:20:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wacky ninja \* > \*\*OK, that’s it, I am insulted. DRY, I can see exactly what they think of me now. > \*\* Well, I just hate to see fine, honourable ladies such as your self being so blatantly disrespected. \*\* > [@](#): > > Struuter, they would be too flattered if we started one like this of our own. > \*\* You should: Turnabout is fair play… However, I have to warn you two ladies that I’m going to be tremendously hurt by whichever one of you two don’t choose me, since you are both favorites of mine. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768/86 "2000-08-03T08:39:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Amok \* > \*\*So, **DRY** , mocking my spelling, eh? You, sir, are a man without honor, the lowest of the low, a baseborn villain, a ne’er-do-well, a reprobate, a cold-hearted blackguard, a snake in the grass, a rapscallion, a runabout, a wretch, a… a… Err, you have a plan to jump these two scamps and divide their womenfolk amongst ourselves? Tell me more, **DRY** , friend of mine, old pal, ally, mate… > \*\* Hell, I’ll even let you pick first… I mean, there are so many FINE ladies on the board, that, even if I should pick after all the rest of you guys, I’m gonna come up with a winner. Furthermore, I’d HAPPILY limit myself to one fine lady. I’m not looking for a harem, just a simple, monogamous, LOVING relationship. [sub]psst…JoeyHemlock, Silo, Myrr21, Homer, Amok, Pricciar, just say a few things along those lines, add a quote from Shakespeare, and we’re in like Flynn:[/sub] [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5\_156.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_156.html) (Betcha y’all never thought to see a Cecil’s column link in this thread!) Ladies, isn’t this a lot better than being in Montfort’s or Iampunha’s harem? Oh, and OESgal: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OESGal \* > \*\*Or, how 'bout you let us women decide? 😃 > \*\* I defer to the superior judgment of the fairer sex. [sub]if all this doesn’t get me picked by one of the fine ladies, I think I’ll off meself[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768/87 "2000-08-03T08:59:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Frannie \* > \*\*Um, DRY? We love you too… well, I can speak only for myself, but you get the idea. [baseball hijack]OH, AND DID YOU SEE OMAR TONIGHT??? The man’s a god, I tell 'ya![/baseball hijack] \*\* Baseball hijack? There’s NO SUCH THING as a baseball hijack. NO, I take that back! Flirting–nay, that sounds too tacky for a lovely lady of your most cultured, most pure, most aristocratic upbringing–let’s call it **courtship**. **Courtship** with a fine lady of your most delicate sensibilities is indeed one of the rare things which must take precedence to a baseball hijack, as important as America’s National Pastime can be. [sub]_Aside_: God, I can’t believe I’m actually saying ANYTHING is more important than baseball[/sub] And with that in mind, I confess that no, I did not see the most gifted Omar tonight, so busy I was in composing paens to your loveliness, to your wonderfulness, nay, to your **divinity**. But, please, sit beside me and tell me of Omar’s excellent performance. I am sure that your gifted, honeysweet tongue and mellifluous voice can do justice to the Great Vizquel. So…how am I doing? > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Frannie \* > \*\*Wait, wait, wait! Wait just a minute here! Time out! DRY? I am _third_ on your “first” list? Hmmmmmmmmmmm \*\* Sigh–the names were meant to be interchangeable \*to the other guys in this thread, meaning that I was using this as an example to OTHERS, regardless of who their favorite might be, of the way to woo a woman—nay, a **LADY**! But YOU are my favorite–how could I not love a lady with such discerning good taste in sports? Do not fret, sweet Frannie. Or, as Shakespeare wrote: “Teach not thy lips such scorn, for they were made For kissing, lady, not for such contempt.” –Richard III, Act 1, scene ii Stay by me awhile, and I will regale you with the story of C.C. Sabathia\*, who may, at a future point, lead the Indians to the promised land. \*[sub]Actual Cleveland Indians prospect[/sub] So, who else wants a love letter from DRY ? Anyone? Bueller? I would apologize for the hijack, but as they say: “Being in love means never having to say you’re sorry” 😃 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768/88 "2000-08-03T09:29:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DRY \* > \*\* Yes, but what worries me is the gossip that you swing both ways. > > ::fleeing:: \*\* You _ **wish!** _ You were thinking I might fulfill some adolescent fantasies for ya, huh? Nice try, bub! Yes, you better flee, boy! (Considering that you are more than a decade older than me is irrelevant in my calling you “boy”.) FTR, folks, I’m not a lesbian, nor even bi. DRY, on the other hand… From what I hear, he’ll try _anything_ once…twice…ten times… ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768/89 "2000-08-03T09:34:38Z")
Fickle man- and to think I had faith in you! Scotti ---
**Author:** ![Frannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Frannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frannie)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768/90 "2000-08-03T12:58:05Z")
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr… you wore me down! Fine, I’m not angry anymore. This is not fair. This is not fair. Not fair. Nope. ☹ Oh, oh, oh! Lemme _tell_ you what Omar did while you were busy… um… well, while you were busy with whatever it was you were doing. 😉 Well, Mr. Vizquel doesn’t even _need_ a glove. He snatches up the ball with whichever (should that be “whatever”?) hand is closest. He tosses/flips/throws to second. _He sure makes Robbie Alomar look good._ Without Omar, where would Robbie be? I’d like to see some of those other hotshot shortstops do what he does without a glove! ::Sigh:: Oh, and then, he ended the game by catching a popup for the third out. But did Omar simply “catch” the ball? Oh no! Not Omar! That wouldn’t be any fun! “What did Omar _do_, Fran,” you ask? Well, lemme tell you: He gazed up into the evening sky, sorta “smirked” as the ball began its descent, rolled his eyes and sorta shook his head, allowed it to drop _behind_ him, caught it “blindly” behind his back, then flipped it back up and caught it again, the entire time sporting the most _wonderful_ sh\*t-eating grin for the camera. Wait… maybe that was for _me_! Gosh, I love baseball (as long as I don’t look at the standings). OK, tell me about C.C. Sabathia. He’s a lefty down in Akron, right? Heaven knows we need pitching. OK, now make it good. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768/91 "2000-08-03T13:37:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scotticher \* > \*\*Fickle man- and to think I had faith in you! > > Scotti \*\* Keep it up girls!! Did you read what he wrote?? “Toss in some Shakespeare and you’ll be in like Flynn??!” JEEZ!!! So Myrr, what lucky ladies were you referring to? ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768/92 "2000-08-03T13:40:22Z")
iampunha, where are you??? ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768/93 "2000-08-03T13:41:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DRY \* > \*\* > So, who else wants a love letter from DRY ? \*\* Lay one on me, sugar pie, and if it’s any good, then _maybe_ I’ll forgive your Flynn comment!! ---
**Author:** ![wacky\_ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/58956e/32.png) [@wacky\_ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wacky_ninja)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768/94 "2000-08-03T13:47:22Z")
DRY, honey…you know I melt when you start quoting! You will always be on top of my list;) ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768/95 "2000-08-03T13:52:27Z")
Well, to state the obvious, I haven’t seen your name on either of these lists, where it rightfully belongs long ago… …and I’m sure there’s some other, less glaring, errors. These two need a good smack upside the head, and a lot less liquor. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768/96 "2000-08-03T14:31:44Z")
Very entertaining, lurking in this thread, very, very entertaining. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768/97 "2000-08-03T16:39:02Z")
Sorry I was gone so long. I am getting less and less time on my home PC these days. I blame . . . well, the rest of my family. Anyway, my two picks are Hamadryad and ssskuggiii. BTW, this is b/w Monty and myself. Please try to keep hijacks to a minimum, or start your own thread. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768/98 "2000-08-03T16:56:36Z")
Montfort, you sweetie, I’m flattered. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Frannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Frannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frannie)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768/99 "2000-08-03T18:25:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > Keep it up girls!! Did you read what he wrote?? “Toss in some Shakespeare and you’ll be in like Flynn??!” JEEZ!!! > \*\* Heck, Shakespeare goes right over my head anyway. _Baseball_, on the other hand, goes right to my heart. ---
**Author:** ![OESGal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecae2f/32.png) [@OESGal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OESGal)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768/100 "2000-08-03T18:26:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DRY \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Amok \* > > \*\*So, **DRY** , mocking my spelling, eh? You, sir, are a man without honor, the lowest of the low, a baseborn villain, a ne’er-do-well, a reprobate, a cold-hearted blackguard, a snake in the grass, a rapscallion, a runabout, a wretch, a… a… Err, you have a plan to jump these two scamps and divide their womenfolk amongst ourselves? Tell me more, **DRY** , friend of mine, old pal, ally, mate… > > \*\* > > Hell, I’ll even let you pick first… > > I mean, there are so many FINE ladies on the board, that, even if I should pick after all the rest of you guys, I’m gonna come up with a winner. > > Furthermore, I’d HAPPILY limit myself to one fine lady. I’m not looking for a harem, just a simple, monogamous, LOVING relationship. > > [sub]psst…JoeyHemlock, Silo, Myrr21, Homer, Amok, Pricciar, just say a few things along those lines, add a quote from Shakespeare, and we’re in like Flynn:[/sub] > > [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5\_156.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_156.html) > > (Betcha y’all never thought to see a Cecil’s column link in this thread!) > > Ladies, isn’t this a lot better than being in Montfort’s or Iampunha’s harem? > > Oh, and OESgal: > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by OESGal \* > > \*\*Or, how 'bout you let us women decide? 😃 > > \*\* > > I defer to the superior judgment of the fairer sex. > [sub]if all this doesn’t get me picked by one of the fine ladies, I think I’ll off meself[/sub] \*\* Dry, well, I don’t really believe in this picking stuff, but you seem like a really nice guy:D I think that is all that is needed don’t you?🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/montfort-in-here-please/27768.md?page=6)