# "Monthly bill"? Who talks like that? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 4, 2003, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monthly-bill-who-talks-like-that/152804 "2003-02-04T22:19:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monthly-bill-who-talks-like-that/152804/1 "2003-02-04T22:19:37Z")
I actually got an email from a student telling me she couldn’t come to class because her “monthly bill has arrived” and she is not feeling well. Okay, sure, I completely understand. Don’t come to class if you’re not feeling well–and I know that some women experience menstrual “discomfort” that far exceeds my own. But “monthly bill?” Who says, “monthly bill?” in this day and age? It’s a natural biological function. You can call it a period! Or say, “I’m menstruating.” Or. actually, I could have done with “I’m not feeling well and won’t be able to come to class,” and skip the TMI altogether! Mundane and pointless . . . I just thought it was odd. ---
**Author:** ![Ivar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ivar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ivar)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monthly-bill-who-talks-like-that/152804/2 "2003-02-04T22:32:01Z")
I haven’t heard that expression since the last time I watched “Sixteen Candles”. I didn’t think anyone talked like that IRL. ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monthly-bill-who-talks-like-that/152804/3 "2003-02-04T22:36:53Z")
I’ve never heard the expression, but I think I blocked “Sixteen Candles” out of my memory. What’s wrong with just saying “I’m not feeling well.” Are details really necessary? ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monthly-bill-who-talks-like-that/152804/4 "2003-02-04T22:44:14Z")
Not as bad as “moon flux” …yes I’ve heard that. Also “moon time” ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monthly-bill-who-talks-like-that/152804/5 "2003-02-04T22:45:07Z")
It’s been my experience that students who give TMI about their ailments are lying, or at least stretching the truth, and I’d be particularly suspicious in this case. (If her periods are so incapacitating that she can’t sit in a classroom for an hour, why on earth hasn’t she sought medical treatment?) To answer the question, though, I’ve never heard anyone use this phrase before. ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monthly-bill-who-talks-like-that/152804/6 "2003-02-04T22:51:46Z")
I do that all the time. What else would you call it? 😉 Ok, so I don’t. I could start if it would make y’all happy though. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monthly-bill-who-talks-like-that/152804/7 "2003-02-04T23:20:03Z")
Ya know, I’ve given up trying to tell the liars from the ill from the merely emotionally disturbed. Missing class is not what I classify as a Big Deal, and I’ll pretty much let anybody make up missed work, turn things in late, or whatever, for any reason, just to save grief all around. I realize that this is not 100% fair to the people who are with it and responsible and honest, but I truly feel that their hard work and dedication is paying off in other ways. But, anyway, maybe she’s just having an extra-rough time of it this month. It happens. If not, it’s no skin off my nose, really. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monthly-bill-who-talks-like-that/152804/8 "2003-02-04T23:22:10Z")
I’ve heard “Aunt Flo is visiting” used without irony. Some people like euphemism, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monthly-bill-who-talks-like-that/152804/9 "2003-02-04T23:29:19Z")
My friend always referred to menstruating as " getting Granny." I think it used to be referred to as “the curse.” More young women now think of it as “the blessing.” 😉 I have never heard the expression “monthy bill,” but I can understand where that might come from. It’s the price women pay for being able to reproduce. I closed my account. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monthly-bill-who-talks-like-that/152804/10 "2003-02-04T23:35:59Z")
I’ve always referred to it as my cycle. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monthly-bill-who-talks-like-that/152804/11 "2003-02-04T23:57:34Z")
I wish students would just say they’re ill, they got a flat tire, or simply, “I can’t make it today” and be done with it. I don’t want to know the gory details. Last year a student left a voicemail saying he wasn’t coming to class because he had diarrhea. I needed to hear this??? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monthly-bill-who-talks-like-that/152804/12 "2003-02-05T00:26:27Z")
My personal favorite excuse was, “I had ants in my pants.” My employee was late because she’d discovered a fire ant infestation. In her laundry bag. Put on clean pants, got in the car to drive to work and started getting bitten all over. She had to turn around and found the ants in the clean laundry bag, so she had to wash a fresh outfit before she could get dressed and come to work. Way, way TMI. I told her that the excuse was so creative, I’d excuse her tardiness and ask no further questions. I gave her an “A” for effort. It was easier than trying to determine if she was lying. Incidentally, (to tie my response into the OP) she never used the excuse that she had her “monthly bill.” In fact, she never discussed her menstrual cycle at all at work, thankfully. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monthly-bill-who-talks-like-that/152804/13 "2003-02-05T01:39:18Z")
Maybe you misinterpreted what she meant. What she really meant was, her credit card bill just came in the mail, and she hadn’t realized how much she’d spent last month, and seeing how much it added up to made her get all woozy and sick feeling and she just needed to take the day off and curl up in a little ball and not think about how much money she owes. ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monthly-bill-who-talks-like-that/152804/14 "2003-02-05T01:43:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MEBuckner \* > \*\*Maybe you misinterpreted what she meant. What she really meant was, her credit card bill just came in the mail, and she hadn’t realized how much she’d spent last month, and seeing how much it added up to made her get all woozy and sick feeling and she just needed to take the day off and curl up in a little ball and not think about how much money she owes. \*\* Now thats a feeling I know very well 😛 Give me period pain over an actual monthly bill any day! ---
**Author:** ![Kakkerlak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bb73d2/32.png) [@Kakkerlak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kakkerlak)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monthly-bill-who-talks-like-that/152804/15 "2003-02-05T02:09:23Z")
I got a supremely confused look upon using a euphemism to inquire about my new girlfriend’s rapid spike in Advil consumption. “She lives in Philadelphia”, she told me. “Why on earth would she visit us here?”. It turns out she really _does_ have an Aunt Florence. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monthly-bill-who-talks-like-that/152804/16 "2003-02-05T03:27:21Z")
Isn’t Aunt Flo from Redlands? Slight hijack. I work with a guy who’s from a different culture from mine. He’s also old. When it comes to bodily functions, he talks too much. One time (okay, a few times) a few years ago he called in sick. He left a voice mail on the supervisor’s phone, and went into great detail about diarrhea and vomiting. The supervisor, not a woman with a large serving of tact, sent out a broadcast voice mail to th department saying that G\_\_\_\_\_ would not be in that day because he was sick – and then attached the message he had left her! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monthly-bill-who-talks-like-that/152804/17 "2003-02-05T03:29:06Z")
Hey, now, my MOM, (who is 76) refers to her ob/gyn as a “lady doctor. You know, for down there.” I would hate to see what my mom’s reaction would be if I actually used the word vagina around her. My personal favorites: Flux Fred’s come for a visit. ( never understood that one) Riding the cotton pony ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monthly-bill-who-talks-like-that/152804/18 "2003-02-05T03:47:38Z")
A couple of my friends and I used to call it “George.” One of my friends said her mother called it that, so we started saying that “I’ve got George.” Funny, one of our managers was named George-and a real SOB at that. So it worked! Tsar Nicholas’s daughters and wife used to call it “Mlle. Becker”. I like that one. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monthly-bill-who-talks-like-that/152804/19 "2003-02-05T03:49:52Z")
A girl in my highschool used to call it “popping the plugs.” Other ones I’ve heard: The cardinal is singing On the rag Safety (as in safe from pregnancy) Rafting the Red River ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monthly-bill-who-talks-like-that/152804/20 "2003-02-05T04:33:34Z")
Maybe I’m just uncreative, but I’ve always just said I had my period. And as far as classes go, it depends on the professor; there’s been a time or two when I had a period-related migraine and for most professors I’d just tell them about the headache. The occasional sympathetic one gets the full story, and heads-up that this may or may not happen again. Bill pain is far worse than cramps for me… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monthly-bill-who-talks-like-that/152804.md?page=2)