While some people are having difficulties with the calculations involved, the statement of the problem still has an epistemological difficulty. This was alluded to in the alternate problem given by CurtC and Len Ragozin. It may also be behind some of the problems with understanding why probability changes based on additional information.
I think it’s easiest to understand in terms of objects. ‘Children’ can be easily substituted, subject to some assumptions below.
Let there be two types of ball, pink and blue, that are picked from a pile with equal probability (i.e. 50%).
Two are chosen at random. I pick them up and put them in a hat. So I know what they are, you don’t.
Case 1 : I tell you, “One of the balls in the hat is pink.”
or
Case 2 : I say nothing. You reach in the hat, and pull one ball out of the hat without looking (at the other). It’s pink.
Now in both cases, the same statement could be made : (At least) one of the balls is pink.
It should be obvious, however, that in Case 1 there is more information available. You are learning about it from someone who does know more than you. This is what changes the problem, leading to different answers to the question, “What is the probability the other ball is blue?” [sup]*[/sup]
Going back to the child problem, this shows the difficulty. The assumptions for the mathematical calculation depend on how you know about the children.
It is implicit in this example that I am like a parent - of course they know their own children, so if they tell you, then you can determine better (i.e. what to rule out).
In the situation where you, say, meet the child, even with the parent present, it’s like Case 2. You’ve randomly picked a particular child, and you haven’t learned anything more. Even I could have pulled the ball out of the hat, as long as I did so without preference.
Examining the wording, all we have is, “You have been told this family has a daughter.” Unfortunately, we do not know who told you or how they found this out. If it is a parent, it’s apparent they do know more information. But it could conceivably be someone whose kid goes to school with their daughter, and they don’t know anything about the other child.
[sup]*[/sup]This is essentially the basis of what I consider the best interpretation of what probability means (Bayesian interpretation). I know with certainty (100%) what is in the hat; the probability you have is less, because you have less information. This also underlies the Monty Hall problem.