# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218
**Category:** Thread Games
**Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 102
### Author:  [@Tazmanian\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tazmanian_Devil)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2021 "2012-12-06T18:19:30Z")
> [@echo7tango](#):
>
> If we took the bones out, it wouldn’t be crunchy, would it?
Constable Parrot ate one of those!
---
### Author:  [@EMCEE\_98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EMCEE_98)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2022 "2012-12-06T20:35:33Z")
_Ev’ry sperm is sacred, every sperm is great. If a sperm gets wasted, God gets quite irate!_
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### Author:  [@getitrite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/getitrite)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2023 "2012-12-07T04:48:37Z")
And I should know 'cause each time
I was standing in the way
I’ve got a ferret sticking up my nose
I’ve got a ferret sticking up my nose
How it got there I can’t tell
But now it’s there it hurts like hell
And what is more it radically affects
My sense of smell
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### Author:  [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2024 "2012-12-07T15:51:04Z")
\*\*\*Ram’s Bladder Cup
\*\*\*\*\*_only the choicest juicy chunks of
fresh Cornish Ram’s bladder,
emptied, steamed, flavoured with
sesame seeds, whipped into a
fondue and garnished with fresh
lark’s vomit_
---
### Author:  [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2025 "2012-12-07T16:22:42Z")
I’m afraid we are unable to show you any more of that letter. We continue with a man with a stoat through his head.
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### Author:  [@EMCEE\_98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EMCEE_98)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2026 "2012-12-07T16:25:19Z")
_Dinsdale?_
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### Author:  [@Tazmanian\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tazmanian_Devil)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2027 "2012-12-07T16:36:46Z")
> [@BMalion](#):
>
> \*\*\*Ram’s Bladder Cup
> \*\*\*\*\*_only the choicest juicy chunks of
> fresh Cornish Ram’s bladder,
> emptied, steamed, flavoured with
> sesame seeds, whipped into a
> fondue and garnished with fresh
> lark’s vomit_
Lark’s vomit?!?!
---
### Author:  [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2012, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2028 "2012-12-07T22:04:49Z")
> [@Tazmanian\_Devil](#):
>
> Lark’s vomit?!?!
Yes, right under monosodium glutemate.
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### Author:  [@EMCEE\_98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EMCEE_98)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2012, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2029 "2012-12-08T02:22:38Z")
Right men, confuse the…cat!
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### Author:  [@getitrite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/getitrite)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2012, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2030 "2012-12-08T15:36:30Z")
Spam, eggs, spam and spam
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### Author:  [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2012, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2031 "2012-12-09T01:19:14Z")
Your cat is suffering from what we vets haven’t found a word for. His condition is typified by total physical inertia, absence of interest in its ambience - what we vets call environment - failure to respond to the conventional external stimuli - a ball of string, a nice juicy mouse, a bird. To be blunt, your cat is in a rut. It’s the old stockbroker syndrome, the suburban _fin de siecle ennui_, _angst_, _weltschmertz_, call it what you will.
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### Author:  [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2012, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2032 "2012-12-09T01:42:40Z")
Good morning, gentlemen. This is a twelve-storey block combining classical neo-Georgian features with the efficiency of modern techniques. The tenants arrive in the entrance hall here, and are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort and past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last twenty feet of the corridor are heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes and the mangled flesh slurps into these…
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### Author:  [@Tazmanian\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tazmanian_Devil)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2012, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2033 "2012-12-09T04:09:09Z")
> [@BMalion](#):
>
> Good morning, gentlemen. This is a twelve-storey block combining classical neo-Georgian features with the efficiency of modern techniques. The tenants arrive in the entrance hall here, and are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort and past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last twenty feet of the corridor are heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes and the mangled flesh slurps into these…
Excuse me, did you say rotating knives??
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### Author:  [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)
#### Post date: [December 9, 2012, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2034 "2012-12-09T04:16:18Z")
> [@Tazmanian\_Devil](#):
>
> Excuse me, did you say rotating knives??
Does that not fit in with your plans?
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### Author:  [@getitrite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/getitrite)
#### Post date: [December 10, 2012, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2035 "2012-12-10T01:44:31Z")
Well now we’re getting somewhere. No, wait. A new angle! In the snow, instead of the tree, I see Rock Hudson, and instead of the dog I see Doris Day and, gentlemen, Doris Day goes up to Rock Hudson and she kisses him. A love story. Intercourse Italian style. David Hemmings as a hippy Gestapo officer. Frontal nudity. A family picture. A comedy. And then when Doris Day’s kissed Rock Hudson she says something funny like…
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### Author:  [@Tazmanian\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tazmanian_Devil)
#### Post date: [December 10, 2012, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2036 "2012-12-10T02:51:24Z")
> [@BMalion](#):
>
> Does that not fit in with your plans?
No, it does not. Uh, we-- we wanted a… simple… block of flats.
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### Author:  [@Tazmanian\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tazmanian_Devil)
#### Post date: [December 10, 2012, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2037 "2012-12-10T02:53:48Z")
> [@getitrite](#):
>
> Well now we’re getting somewhere. No, wait. A new angle! In the snow, instead of the tree, I see Rock Hudson, and instead of the dog I see Doris Day and, gentlemen, Doris Day goes up to Rock Hudson and she kisses him. A love story. Intercourse Italian style. David Hemmings as a hippy Gestapo officer. Frontal nudity. A family picture. A comedy. And then when Doris Day’s kissed Rock Hudson she says something funny like…
Er … Good evening.
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### Author:  [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)
#### Post date: [December 10, 2012, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2038 "2012-12-10T03:49:44Z")
> [@Tazmanian\_Devil](#):
>
> No, it does not. Uh, we-- we wanted a… simple… block of flats.
Oh, I see. I hadn’t correctly divined your attitude towards your tenants. You see I mainly design slaughter houses. Yes, pity. Mind you, this is a real beaut. I mean, none of your blood caked on the walls and flesh flying out of the windows, inconveniencing the passers-by with this one. I mean, my life has been building up to this.
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### Author:  [@Tazmanian\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tazmanian_Devil)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2012, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2039 "2012-12-11T02:33:49Z")
> [@BMalion](#):
>
> Oh, I see. I hadn’t correctly divined your attitude towards your tenants. You see I mainly design slaughter houses. Yes, pity. Mind you, this is a real beaut. I mean, none of your blood caked on the walls and flesh flying out of the windows, inconveniencing the passers-by with this one. I mean, my life has been building up to this.
Yes, and well done, but we want a block of flats.
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### Author:  [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2012, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2040 "2012-12-11T03:45:21Z")
> [@Tazmanian\_Devil](#):
>
> Er … Good evening.
That’s not funny! Get out! You’re fired!
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