# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218
**Category:** Thread Games
**Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 104
### Author:  [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2012, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2061 "2012-12-14T04:11:07Z")
> [@getitrite](#):
>
> Your highness, when I said you are like a steam of bat’s piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark
Right.
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### Author:  [@getitrite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/getitrite)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2012, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2062 "2012-12-15T06:42:39Z")
Good evening. Tonight on ‘Is There’ we examine the question, ‘Is there a life after death?’ And here to discuss it are three dead people.
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### Author:  [@Tazmanian\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tazmanian_Devil)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2012, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2063 "2012-12-15T19:31:44Z")
Gentlemen, is there a life after death or not? Sir Brian? (silence) Professor? … Prebendary?.. Well there we have it, three say no. On ‘Is There’ next week we’ll be discussing the question ‘Is there enough of it about?’, and until then, goodnight.
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### Author:  [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2012, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2064 "2012-12-15T20:23:08Z")
Whizzo Assortment INTERESTING PEOPLE:
Secret Agent Teddy Salad and Captain Capenter
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### Author:  [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2012, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2065 "2012-12-15T20:43:25Z")
Do you want to come upstairs…?
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### Author:  [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2012, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2066 "2012-12-15T20:46:59Z")
Well, um, can we come up and have a look?
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### Author:  [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2012, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2067 "2012-12-16T00:41:07Z")
Size nine.
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### Author:  [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2012, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2068 "2012-12-16T05:16:44Z")
Yes, yes, as a matter of fact you can, actually I was interested in the possibility… of purchasing one of your… can I ask who you thought I was?
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### Author:  [@getitrite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/getitrite)
#### Post date: [December 19, 2012, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2069 "2012-12-19T02:06:15Z")
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government
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### Author:  [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)
#### Post date: [December 19, 2012, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2070 "2012-12-19T02:24:59Z")
And of course there’ll be sport.
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### Author:  [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [December 19, 2012, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2071 "2012-12-19T03:22:09Z")
Well, er, yes, Mr. Anchovy, but you see your report here says that you are an extremely dull person. You see, our experts describe you as an appallingly dull fellow, unimaginative, timid, lacking in initiative, spineless, easily dominated, no sense of humour, tedious company and irrepressibly drab and awful. And whereas in most professions these would be considerable drawbacks, in chartered accountancy they are a positive _boon_.
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### Author:  [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)
#### Post date: [December 19, 2012, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2072 "2012-12-19T17:02:51Z")
You get a nude lady with fully comprehensive motor insurance. If you just want third party then she has to keep her bra on; if you just want theft then…
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### Author:  [@getitrite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/getitrite)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2012, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2073 "2012-12-20T01:50:10Z")
Suppose I said I was emperor just cause some watery tart lobed a scimitar at me, why they’d lock me away.
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### Author:  [@Tazmanian\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tazmanian_Devil)
#### Post date: [December 21, 2012, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2074 "2012-12-21T01:36:31Z")
And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
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### Author:  [@Tazmanian\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tazmanian_Devil)
#### Post date: [December 23, 2012, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2075 "2012-12-23T18:23:53Z")
Yes, a hat. A lion taming hat. A hat with ‘lion tamer’ on it. I got it at Harrods. And it lights up saying ‘lion tamer’ in great big neon letters, so that you can tame them after dark when they’re less stroppy
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### Author:  [@Dunkelheit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunkelheit)
#### Post date: [December 23, 2012, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2076 "2012-12-23T19:36:26Z")
I don’t think there’s a punch-line scheduled, is there?
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### Author:  [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)
#### Post date: [December 23, 2012, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2077 "2012-12-23T20:26:52Z")
We’ll return to The Golden Age Of Ballooning right after this…
©1995 Python (Monty) Pictures Ltd. Produced under license by Cornerstone Communications Inc.
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### Author:  [@getitrite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/getitrite)
#### Post date: [December 24, 2012, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2078 "2012-12-24T02:26:06Z")
He’s not the messiah. He’s a very naughty boy!
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### Author:  [@Tazmanian\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tazmanian_Devil)
#### Post date: [December 24, 2012, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2079 "2012-12-24T02:39:53Z")
There’s no Messiah in here. There’s a mess all right, but no Messiah. Now go away!
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### Author:  [@Dunkelheit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunkelheit)
#### Post date: [December 24, 2012, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2080 "2012-12-24T14:02:15Z")
NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise…surprise and fear…fear and surprise… Our two weapons are fear and surprise…and ruthless efficiency… Our _three_ weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency…and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope… Our _four_…no… _Amongst_ our weapons… Amongst our weaponry…are such elements as fear, surprise… I’ll come in again.
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