# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 109
**Author:** ![Dunkelheit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dunkelheit/32/248_2.png) [@Dunkelheit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunkelheit)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2013, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2161 "2013-03-06T11:38:24Z")
I want you to be my helpmate. As Tarzan had his Jane, as Napoleon had his Josephine, as Frankie Laine had whoever he had, I want you to help me in my plan to dominate the world! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2013, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2162 "2013-03-06T15:32:03Z")
I’ve had more gala lunches than you’ve had hot dinners, my lad, and don’t you forget it! ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2013, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2163 "2013-03-06T15:54:41Z")
I mean, it’s a little confusing for me when you say “dog kennel” if you want a mattress. Why not just say “mattress”? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2013, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2164 "2013-03-06T15:56:55Z")
Good evening and welcome, ladies and gentlemen. At this time we’d like to up the tempo a little, change the mood. We’ve got a number requested by Pip, Pauline, Nigel, Tarquin, and old Spotty - Tarquin’s mother - a little number specially written for the pubescence of ex-King Zog of Albania, and it’s entitled “Art Gallery.” Hope you like it. ---
**Author:** ![Dunkelheit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dunkelheit/32/248_2.png) [@Dunkelheit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunkelheit)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2013, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2165 "2013-03-08T00:07:37Z")
My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains My senses, as though an anteater I’d seen A nasty long-nosed brute With furry legs and sticky darting tongue I seem to feel its cruel jaws Crunch crunch, there go my legs Snap snap, my thorax too My head’s in a twain, there goes my brain Swallow, swallow, swallow, slurp ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2013, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2166 "2013-03-08T01:18:47Z")
One day Rikki the magic Pixie went to visit Daisy Bumble in her tumbledown cottage, He found her in the bedroom. Roughly he grabbed her shoulders pulling her down on to the bed and hurriedly ripping off her thin… 44©1995, Python (Monty) Pictures, Ltd. Produced under license by Cornerstone Communications, Inc. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2013, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2167 "2013-03-08T01:49:56Z")
“Old Nick the sea captain was a rough, tough, jolly sort of fellow. He loved the life of the sea, and he loved to hang out down by the pier, where the men dressed as ladies…” ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2013, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2168 "2013-03-14T20:19:03Z")
At last! A call, a cry of distress! This could be the sign that leads us to the Holy Grail! Brave, brave Concorde! You shall not have died in vain! ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2013, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2169 "2013-03-15T01:49:06Z")
The Poems of Ewen McTeagle _Upon Reading Chapman’s ‘Homer’ in Selfridges’_ Owe gie to me a shillin for some fags And I’ll pay you back on Thursday. But if you can wait till Saturday I’m expecting divvy from the Harpenden Building Society. ©1995, Python (Monty) Pictures, Ltd. Produced under license by Cornerstone\* Communications, Inc. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2170 "2013-03-19T16:12:36Z")
Right. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2171 "2013-03-19T16:32:29Z")
Yes, we find that 9 out of 10 British housewives can’t tell the difference between Whizzo Butter and a dead crab. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2172 "2013-03-19T18:30:39Z")
Ni! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2173 "2013-03-19T20:17:58Z")
Venezuelan beaver cheese? ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2174 "2013-03-19T21:08:23Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Venezuelan beaver cheese? Nnnnnnnno. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2013, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2175 "2013-03-20T03:16:58Z")
We’ve been mentioned on telly! ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2013, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2176 "2013-03-20T13:31:20Z")
Did you say, “ex-leper?” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2013, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2177 "2013-03-20T13:48:04Z")
Well, it’s a difficult decision. But in accordance with our traditional principles of free enterprise and healthy competition I’m going to ask the two of you to fight to the death for it. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2013, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2178 "2013-03-20T14:49:59Z")
At this time, a friend shall lose his friend’s hammer, and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o’clock. I love that this thread is never _quite_ dead. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2013, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2179 "2013-03-20T15:23:06Z")
There is NO rule six! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2013, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2180 "2013-03-20T17:10:53Z")
A Corpse-Haakon Production. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=108) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=110)