# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 117
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2321 "2013-04-23T15:31:25Z")
We interrupt this program to annoy you and make things generally irritating. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2322 "2013-04-23T15:34:54Z")
Good evening. Here is the News for parrots. No parrots were involved in an accident on the M1 today, when a lorry carrying high octane fuel was in collision with a bollard … that is a bollard and not a parrot. A spokesman for parrots said he was glad no parrots were involved. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2323 "2013-04-23T16:05:08Z")
No, no! Don’t be silly! How can you find someone _not_ Esther Williams? ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2324 "2013-04-24T00:33:45Z")
One day you’ll realize there’s more to life than culture… There’s dirt, and smoke, and good honest sweat! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2325 "2013-04-24T12:10:32Z")
I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so anyway, I said to her, I said, they can’t afford that on what he earns, I mean for a start the feathers get up your nose, I ask you, four and six a pound, and him with a wooden leg, I don’t know how she puts up with it after all the trouble she’s had with her you-know-what, anyway it was a white wedding much to everyone’s surprise, of course they bought everything on the hire purchase, I think they ought to send them back where they came from, I mean you’ve got to be cruel to be kind so Mrs Harris said, so she said, she said, she said, the dead crab she said, she said. Well, her sister’s gone to Rhodesia what with her womb and all, and her youngest, her youngest as thin as a filing cabinet, and the goldfish, the goldfish they’ve got whooping cough they keep spitting water all over their Bratbys, well, they do don’t they, I mean you can’t, can you, I mean they’re not even married or anything, they’re not even divorced, and he’s in the KGB if you ask me, he says he’s a tree surgeon but I don’t like the sound of his liver, all that squeaking and banging every night till the small hours, his mother’s been much better since she had her head off, yes she has, I said, don’t you talk to me about bladders, I said… ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2326 "2013-04-24T14:13:09Z")
And this enchanter of whom you speak, he has seen the grail? ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2327 "2013-04-24T17:54:14Z")
That’s next door, this is :smack: lessons ---
**Author:** ![Srsly\_Dad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@Srsly\_Dad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Srsly_Dad)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2328 "2013-04-24T18:08:07Z")
In this picture there are forty people. None of them can be seen. In this film we hope to show you how not to be seen. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2329 "2013-04-24T19:57:52Z")
Oh well we sometimes feel we’re to blame in some way for what our gran’s become. I mean she used to be happy here until she, she started on the crochet. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2330 "2013-04-24T19:59:04Z")
Harold. He’s that sheep there over under the elm. He’s that most dangerous of animals, a clever sheep. He’s the ring-leader. He has realized that a sheep’s life consists of standing around for a few months and then being eaten. And that’s a depressing prospect for an ambitious sheep. He’s patently hit on the idea of escape. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2331 "2013-04-24T20:32:18Z")
Yeah, but he was very reasonable about it. I mean, one Sunday when my parents were coming 'round for tea, I asked him if he’d mind very much not nailing my head to the floor that week, and he agreed and just screwed my pelvis to a cake stand. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2332 "2013-04-24T20:57:03Z")
Let me see … oh, she was quite young – _Harry, I think we’ve got an eater_. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2333 "2013-04-24T22:01:06Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > Harold. He’s that sheep there over under the elm. He’s that most dangerous of animals, a clever sheep. He’s the ring-leader. He has realized that a sheep’s life consists of standing around for a few months and then being eaten. And that’s a depressing prospect for an ambitious sheep. He’s patently hit on the idea of escape. Il fait beau hier. Ha ha ha. There’s your flippin’ non-sequitor! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2334 "2013-04-24T23:41:56Z")
I’ve got ninety thousand pounds in my pajamas. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2335 "2013-04-25T00:33:50Z")
After all, a murderer is only an extroverted suicide. Dinsdale was a looney, but he was a happy looney. Lucky bastard. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2336 "2013-04-25T01:56:15Z")
You try that around here, young man, and we’ll slit your face. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2337 "2013-04-25T13:36:32Z")
I remember Doug was very keen on boxing, but when he learned to walk he took up putting the boot in the groin. He was very interested in that. His mother had a terrible job getting him to come in for tea. Putting his little boot in he’d be, bless him. All the kids were like that then; they didn’t have their heads stuffed with all this Cartesian dualism. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2338 "2013-04-25T14:19:48Z")
At lunch it’s a bottle of _vin ordinaire_. Six glasses, and he’s ready to start agitating. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2339 "2013-04-25T14:28:26Z")
Quiet! Silly person. Guards! Search the house. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2340 "2013-04-25T14:45:10Z")
No, I’m just pulling your leg, it’s crucifixion really. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=116) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=118)