# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 119
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2013, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2361 "2013-04-29T16:14:42Z")
People get killed, properly dead, sir, no barely-crossed fingers, sir. A bloke was telling me, if you’re in the Army and there’s a war, you have to go and fight! ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2013, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2362 "2013-04-29T17:02:22Z")
Right. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2013, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2363 "2013-04-29T17:38:41Z")
Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Umbrella Stand Jasper Wednesday (pops mouth twice) Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable (sound effect of horse whinnying) Arthur Norman Michael (blows squeaker) Featherstone Smith (blows whistle) Northgot Edwards Harris (fires pistol, which goes ‘whoop’) Mason (chuff-chuff-chuff) Frampton Jones Fruitbat Gilbert (sings) ‘We’ll keep a welcome in the’ (three shots, stops singing) Williams If I Could Walk That Way Jenkin (squeaker) Tiger-draws Pratt Thompson (sings) ‘Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head’ Darcy Carter (horn) Pussycat ‘Don’t Sleep In The Subway’ Barton Mannering (hoot, ‘whoop’) Smith. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2013, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2364 "2013-04-29T17:40:52Z")
Pull the other one! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2013, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2365 "2013-04-29T17:52:52Z")
Well, it’s five past nine and nearly time for six past nine. On BBC 2 now it’ll shortly be six and a half minutes past nine. Later on this evening it’ll be ten o’clock and at 10.30 we’ll be joining BBC 2 in time for 10.33, and don’t forget tomorrow when it’ll be 9.20. Those of you who missed 8.45 on Friday will be able to see it again this Friday at a quarter to nine. Now here is a time check. It’s six and a half minutes to the big green thing. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2013, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2366 "2013-04-29T20:33:28Z")
May I take this opportunity of emphasizing that there is no cannibalism in the British Navy. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2367 "2013-04-30T01:39:03Z")
You see, what I really wanted was a regiment where I could be really quiet and have more time to myself to work with fabrics, and creating new concepts in interior design. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2368 "2013-04-30T03:18:51Z")
He must have died while carving it. ---
**Author:** ![Dunkelheit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dunkelheit/32/248_2.png) [@Dunkelheit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunkelheit)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2369 "2013-04-30T07:19:46Z")
You can’t eat that raw! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2370 "2013-04-30T11:50:09Z")
It’s a fair cop! ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2371 "2013-04-30T15:54:38Z")
Golf, strangling animals, and masturbation. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2372 "2013-04-30T16:22:14Z")
He has a wife, you know. Incontinentia… Incontinentia _Buttocks_. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2373 "2013-04-30T16:30:55Z")
Hello, and welcome to ‘The Middle of the Film’, the moment where we take a break to invite you, the audience, to join us, the film-makers, in ‘Find the Fish’. We’re going to show you a scene from another film and ask you to guess where the fish is, but, if you think you know, don’t keep it to yourselves. Yell out so that all the cinema can hear you. So, here we are with… ‘Find the Fish’. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2374 "2013-04-30T16:53:33Z")
Can do, but won’t. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2375 "2013-04-30T17:02:21Z")
_Marriage counselor:_ And what is the name of your ravishing wife? (holds her hand) Wait. Don’t tell me. It’s something to do with moonlight - it goes with her eyes - it’s soft and gentle, warm and yielding, deeply lyrical and yet tender and frightened like a tiny white rabbit. _Arthur Pewty:_ It’s Deidre. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2376 "2013-04-30T17:09:23Z")
Is your wife a…goer…eh? Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Nudge nudge. Know what I mean? Say no more…know what I mean? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2377 "2013-04-30T18:00:01Z")
Czech sheep’s milk? Venezuelan beaver cheese? Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2378 "2013-04-30T18:15:13Z")
A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do, and there ain’t no sense in runnin’. Now you gotta turn, and you gotta fight, and you gotta hold your head up high. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2379 "2013-04-30T18:16:31Z")
We’re knights of the Round Table, we dance whene’er we’re able. We do routines and chorus scenes with footwork impec-cable, We dine well here in Camelot, we eat ham and jam and Spam a lot. / We’re knights of the Round Table, our shows are for-mi-dable. But many times we’re given rhymes that are quite un-sing-able, We’re opera mad in Camelot, we sing from the diaphragm a lot. / In war we’re tough and able, Quite in-de-fa-ti-gable. Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable / It’s a busy life in Camelot ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2013, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2380 "2013-05-01T01:02:47Z")
A 20 foot electric penquin! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=118) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=120)