# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 126
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2501 "2013-06-04T23:21:32Z")
Drink Doctor. Eat Sister. Cook Mr. Burtenshaw. Nurse me. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2502 "2013-06-05T00:21:49Z")
Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2503 "2013-06-05T02:41:37Z")
_Minstrels [singing]:_ Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis… _Sir Robin:_ That’s, uh, that’s enough music for now, lads. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2504 "2013-06-05T12:21:10Z")
Well it’s thirteen minutes to the hour of nine-nine-nine, here on wonderful Radio One-One-One! So if you’re still lying in your big big bed, now is the time to get up out of it! We’ve got another thirteen hours of tip-top sounds here on Wonderful Radio One! So unless you have brain cells, or have completed the process of evolution, there’s a wonderful day ahead! ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2505 "2013-06-05T16:51:45Z")
Yes? Quite right…A viewer from Preston there who’s pointed out correctly that the entire panel are loonies. Five points to Preston there, and on to our first piece of film. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2506 "2013-06-05T19:50:33Z")
I must apologize for an error in the saga. Evidently Thorgier, the Priest of Ljosa water who took to wife Thurunn, the mother of Thorkel Braggart, the slayer of Gudmund the powerful, who knew Howal, son of Geernon, son of Erik from Vadalesc … ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2013, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2507 "2013-06-05T19:58:48Z")
You fool! You fool! All right … we’ve no time to lose. Ken - shave all your hair off, get your passport and meet me at this address in Rio de Janeiro Tuesday night. Vic - go to East Africa, have plastic surgery and meet me there. Reg - go to Canada and work your way south to Nicaragua by July. Larry - you stay here as front man. Give us fifteen minutes then blow the building up. All right, make it fast. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2508 "2013-06-06T01:23:37Z")
It’s… ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2509 "2013-06-06T12:02:26Z")
Yes, mothers, new improved Whizzo butter containing 10% more or less is absolutely indistinguishable from a dead crab. Remember, buy Whizzo butter and go to HEAVEN! ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2510 "2013-06-06T17:48:11Z")
Now, two boys have been found rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant. Now, some of you may feel that the cormorant does not play an important part in the life of the school, but I would remind you that it was presented to us by the Corporation of the town of Sudbury to commemorate Empire Day, when we try to remember the names of all those from the Sudbury area who so gallantly gave their lives to keep China British. So, from now on, the cormorant is strictly out of bounds! Oh, and Jenkins, apparently your mother died this morning. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2511 "2013-06-06T18:54:02Z")
Don’t be ridiculous - how can you find somebody “Not Esther Williams”. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2512 "2013-06-06T19:05:17Z")
The BBC wishes to deny rumours that it is going into liquidation. Mrs. Kelly, who owns the flat where they live, has said that they can stay on till the end of the month. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2513 "2013-06-06T19:23:10Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Don’t be ridiculous - how can you find somebody “Not Esther Williams”… Who died today, as it happens. But you knew that. Well, how very interesting, because I’m now made entirely of tin. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2013, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2514 "2013-06-06T21:49:31Z")
Ah well, a dromedary has _one_ hump and a camel has a refreshment car, buffet, and a ticket collector. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2515 "2013-06-07T00:37:46Z")
It just says “We would like you to be in a sketch. You are standing at a counter. When the sketch starts you go off. Yours faithfully, Lord Hill.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2516 "2013-06-07T02:59:26Z")
In this picture there are forty people. None of them can be seen. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2517 "2013-06-07T17:07:45Z")
Oh, I’ll look after the cat. Goodness me, Mrs. Newman’s eldest never worried about the cat when he went off to do _Sweet Bird of Youth._ ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2518 "2013-06-07T19:40:08Z")
All right… all right, the house is surrounded and nobody leave the room and all the rest of it. Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Assistant Chief Constable Theresamanbehindyer. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2519 "2013-06-07T19:55:50Z")
Gentlemen, we have to find something new to tax. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2013, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2520 "2013-06-07T20:29:05Z")
Sir, I don’t know how to say this, but I’ve got to be perfectly frank. I really and truly believe this story of yours is the greatest story in motion-picture history. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=125) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=127)