# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 132
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2621 "2013-07-11T18:38:43Z")
“This quote was not said by me at all but was made up by somebody else” R. Maudling ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2622 "2013-07-11T18:39:24Z")
Say no more, say no more. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2623 "2013-07-11T19:45:27Z")
Does it come with wafers? ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2624 "2013-07-11T22:18:41Z")
I’m going to bounce up and down on my spring. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2625 "2013-07-11T23:18:27Z")
About one, call it none. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2626 "2013-07-12T11:35:55Z")
It’s not particularly silly, is it? Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2627 "2013-07-12T11:52:25Z")
All right … I confess I haven’t cut your hair … I hate cutting hair. I have this terrible un-un-uncontrollable fear whenever I see hair. When I was a kid I used to hate the sight of hair being cut. My mother said I was a fool. She said the only way to cure it was to become a barber. So I spent five ghastly years at the Hairdressers’ Training Centre at Totnes. Can you imagine what it’s like cutting the same head for five years? I didn’t want to be a barber anyway. I wanted to be a lumberjack. Leaping from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia . . . ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2628 "2013-07-12T19:02:51Z")
Hello, good evening, and welcome to “It’s A Living”. The rules are very simple: each week we get a large fee; at the end of that week we get another large fee; if there’s been no interruption at the end of the year we get a repeat fee which can be added on for tax purposes to the previous year or the following year if there’s no new series. Every contestant, in addition to getting a large fee is entitled to three drinks at the BBC or if the show is over, seven drinks - unless he is an MP, in which case he can have seven drinks before the show, or a bishop only three drinks _in toto_. The winners will receive an additional fee, a prize which they can flog back and a special fee for a guest appearance on “Late Night Line Up.” Well, those are the rules, that’s the game, we’ll be back again same time next week. Till then: Bye-bye. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2629 "2013-07-12T22:07:03Z")
As usual news of the old boys has been flowing in from the branches. **Ribbentrop, Von** (NAZIS 1930-45) is working as a nightclub hostess in Bristol. He says he’s really happy meeting new people and doesn’t miss being foreign minister at all. However he’s managed to work some of his diplomatic experience into his night-club act, when he performs the Treaty of Brest-Litovsk dance, in which he combines the salient features of Russian-German relations in the later half of the 1930’s with the music of Burt Bacharat. Keep it up Ron! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2630 "2013-07-13T01:28:21Z")
What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2631 "2013-07-13T22:33:35Z")
Good lord, you’re right. It’s Kandinsky. Wassily Kandinsky, and who’s this here with him? It’s Braque. Georges Braque, the Cubist, painting a bird in flight over a cornfield and going very fast down the hill towards Kingston and… Piet Mondrian - just behind, Piet Mondrian the Neo-Plasticist, and then a gap, then the main bunch, here they come, Chagall, Max Ernst, Miro, Dufy, Ben Nicholson, Jackson Pollock and Bernard Buffet making a break on the outside here, Brancusi’s going with him, so is Gericault, Ferdinand Leger, Delaunay, De Kooning, Kokoschka’s dropping back here by the look of it, and so’s Paul Klee dropping back a bit and, right at the back of this group, our very own Kurt Schwitters… ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2632 "2013-07-16T12:01:05Z")
And now for something completely different. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2633 "2013-07-16T13:34:12Z")
(An unusual citation in a British political science article… see at the very end: [http://www.historyandpolicy.org/papers/policy-paper-94.html](http://www.historyandpolicy.org/papers/policy-paper-94.html)). Albatross! ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2013, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2634 "2013-07-16T19:27:41Z")
Well, of course, warfare isn’t all fun. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2635 "2013-07-17T13:11:24Z")
Oh well you want the Durham Light Infantry then, sir. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2636 "2013-07-17T16:42:13Z")
Oh, well, we sometimes feel we’re to blame in some way for what our gran’s become. I mean she used to be happy here until she, she… started on the crochet. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2637 "2013-07-18T18:20:14Z")
Torment me no longer. I have seen the Grail! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2638 "2013-07-18T18:50:29Z")
And spotteth twice they the camels before the third hour. And so the Midianites went forth to Ram Gilead in Kadesh Bilgemath by Shor Ethra Regalion, to the house of Gash-Bil-Betheul-Bazda, he who brought the butter dish to Balshazar and the tent peg to the house of Rashomon, and there slew they the goats, yea, and placed they the bits in little pots. Here endeth the lesson. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2639 "2013-07-19T16:47:56Z")
Do you want to come back to my place? Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/2640 "2013-07-19T21:42:39Z")
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