# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 161
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3201 "2014-02-24T05:22:54Z")
No, it was Wolverhampton beat Leicester 3 to 1! ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3202 "2014-02-24T12:42:58Z")
Well, it’s five past nine and nearly time for six past nine. On BBC 2 now it’ll shortly be six and a half minutes past nine. Later on this evening it’ll be ten o’clock and at 10.30 we’ll be joining BBC 2 in time for 10.33, and don’t forget tomorrow when it’ll be 9.20. Those of you who missed 8.45 on Friday will be able to see it again this Friday at a quarter to nine. Now here is a time check. It’s six and a half minutes to the big green thing. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3203 "2014-02-24T14:48:06Z")
Naughton is not in. Knott is in and is nought for not out. Naughton of Northants got a nasty knock on the nut in the nets last night but it’s nothing of note. Next in is Nat Newton of Notts. Not Nutring - Nutting’s at nine, er, Nutring knocked neatie nighty knock knock… ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3204 "2014-02-24T15:22:52Z")
All right! We will eat the cake! They’re right. It’s… It’s too good a cake not to eat! Get the… plates and knives, Walters. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3205 "2014-02-24T22:27:55Z")
Then you will cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with…a herring! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3206 "2014-02-24T23:49:24Z")
Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say “Ni!” at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress in this period in history. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3207 "2014-02-25T00:48:19Z")
Lasagna, moussaka, lobster thermidor, escalopes de veau à l’estragon avec endives gratinéed with cheese. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3208 "2014-02-25T01:29:12Z")
Ni! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3209 "2014-02-25T01:40:05Z")
Hello, good evening, and welcome to _Blackmail_! And to start tonight’s programme, we go to Preston in Lancashire, and Mrs. Betty Teal! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3210 "2014-02-25T01:48:09Z")
Course you don’t get bloody wafers with it. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3211 "2014-02-25T03:33:21Z")
What Jesus blatantly fails to appreciate is that it’s the meek who are the problem ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3212 "2014-02-25T05:04:58Z")
What’s so special about the cheesemakers? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3213 "2014-02-25T15:26:41Z")
Simon and Vivian at the front coming to the matchbox jump… three layers of matchboxes to clear… and Simon’s over and Vivian’s over beautifully, oh, and the jump of a lifetime - if only his father could understand. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3214 "2014-02-25T16:25:00Z")
Can I please speak! I came all the way from Oslo to do this program! I’m a professor of archaeology. I’m an expert in ancient civilizations. All right, I’m only five foot ten. All right my posture is bad, all right I slump in my chair. But I’ve had more women than either of you two! I’ve had half bloody Norway, that’s what I’ve had! So you can keep your Robert Eversley! And you can keep your bloody Watutsi! I’d rather have my little body… my little five-foot-ten-inch body… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3215 "2014-02-25T17:06:48Z")
Here’s Nigel… and now Gervaise is over he’s, er, Nigel is over, and it’s Gervaise, Gervaise is going to jump it, is it, no he’s jumped the wrong way, there he goes, Nigel’s over, beautifully. Now it’s only Oliver. Oliver… and Gervaise… oh, bad luck. And now it’s Kicking the Beggar. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3216 "2014-02-25T19:49:57Z")
Dear Sir, I am writing to complain about that sketch about people failing out of a high building. I have worked all my life in such a building and have never once… ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3217 "2014-02-25T19:54:53Z")
Dear Sir, I am writing to complain about that sketch about the lumberjack who wears women’s clothing. Many of my best friends are lumberjacks and only a few of them are transvestites. Sincerely,… ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3218 "2014-02-25T20:48:21Z")
And I thought you were so butch! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3219 "2014-02-25T22:01:41Z")
One of the flay rods has apparently gone out of skew on the treadle. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2014, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3220 "2014-02-26T00:14:30Z")
This is Mr. E.R. Bradshaw, of Napier Court, Black Lion Road, SE5. He cannot be seen. Now I’m going to ask him to stand up. Mr Bradshaw, will you stand up please? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=160) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=162)