# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 168
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2014, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3341 "2014-03-14T21:10:37Z")
You are hereby charged that on the 28th day of May 1970, you did willfully, unlawfully, and with malice aforethought publish an alleged English-Hungarian phrasebook with intent to cause a breach of the peace. How do you plead? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3342 "2014-03-15T20:07:03Z")
Well it’s funny you should ask that, but I’ve just been reading a great big book about how to put your budgie down, and apparently you can either hit them with the book, or, you can shoot them just there, just above the beak. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3343 "2014-03-16T04:43:11Z")
Well, I don’t like them…they wet their nests. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3344 "2014-03-16T15:04:03Z")
All our patients here are suffering from severe over-acting. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3345 "2014-03-16T16:30:50Z")
Piggy, you’re overacting. You’re hamming it up! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3346 "2014-03-16T18:00:36Z")
That’ll do, Pig. That’ll do. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3347 "2014-03-16T18:44:32Z")
But there is one composer whose name is never included with the greats. Why is it that the world never remembered the name of Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern- schplenden- schlitter- crasscrenbon- fried- digger- dingle- dangle- dongle- dungle- burstein- von- knacker- thrasher- apple- banger- horowitz- ticolensic- grander- knotty- spelltinkle- grandlich- grumblemeyer- spelterwasser- kurstlich- himbleeisen- bahnwagen- gutenabend- bitte- ein- nürnburger- bratwustle- gerspurten- mitz- weimache- luber- hundsfut- gumberaber- shönedanker- kalbsfleisch- mittler- aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm? To do justice to this man, thought by many to be the greatest name in German Baroque music, we present a profile of Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern- schplenden- schlitter- crasscrenbon- fried- digger- dingle- dangle- dongle- dungle- burstein- von- knacker- thrasher- apple- banger- horowitz- ticolensic- grander- knotty- spelltinkle- grandlich- grumblemeyer- spelterwasser- kurstlich- himbleeisen- bahnwagen- gutenabend- bitte- ein- nürnburger- bratwustle- gerspurten- mitz- weimache- luber- hundsfut- gumberaber- shönedanker- kalbsfleisch- mittler- aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm. We start with an interview with his only surviving relative… ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3348 "2014-03-16T21:05:53Z")
Tungsten carbide drills! What the bloody hell’s tungsten carbide drills? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3349 "2014-03-16T21:17:56Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > That’ll do, Pig. That’ll do. That’s not Python, is it? In play: Do you want to come upstairs? ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3350 "2014-03-17T00:21:00Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > That’s not Python, is it? > … nope. Oh merde. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3351 "2014-03-17T00:27:27Z")
Jean-Paul. Your famous trilogy 'Rues i Liberte, is it an allegory of man’s search for commitment? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3352 "2014-03-17T02:52:13Z")
Hello, I’m Smoke-too-much, Mr. Smoke-too-much. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3353 "2014-03-17T04:49:33Z")
_Toledo Tit Parade_? What sort of play’s that? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3354 "2014-03-18T04:41:48Z")
Have you come to arrange a holiday, or would you like a blowjob? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3355 "2014-03-18T14:01:46Z")
Shut up. Shut up! Shut up! You can’t have egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3356 "2014-03-18T15:11:28Z")
I will not buy this record, it is scratched. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3357 "2014-03-18T15:13:17Z")
Bruce here teaches classical philosophy, Bruce there teaches Haegelian philosophy, and Bruce here teaches logical positivism. And is also in charge of the sheep dip. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3358 "2014-03-18T15:15:50Z")
You are Sir Philip Sidney? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3359 "2014-03-18T22:16:44Z")
You are Mary, Queen of Scots? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/3360 "2014-03-18T22:51:59Z")
Gentlemen, at six o’clock I want every man-Bruce of you in the Sydney Harbour Bridge room to take a glass of sherry with the flying philosopher, Bruce, and I call upon you,\* padre\*, to close the meeting with a prayer. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=167) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=169)