# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 201
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4001 "2014-12-13T15:46:00Z")
…or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4002 "2014-12-13T18:54:17Z")
Better get a bucket. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2014, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4003 "2014-12-14T02:15:33Z")
But you put a bucket over your head last time we said ‘mattress’. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2014, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4004 "2014-12-14T05:26:10Z")
“And did those feet, in ancient times…” ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2014, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4005 "2014-12-14T08:11:45Z")
And the Lord spake, saying: “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three - no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2014, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4006 "2014-12-14T14:06:02Z")
Mr. and Mrs. Watson of ‘Ivy Cottage’, Worplesdon Road, Hull, chose a very cunning way of not being seen. When we called at their house, we found that they had gone away on two weeks holiday. They had not left any forwarding address, and they had bolted and barred the house to prevent us getting in. However a neighbour told us where there were. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2014, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4007 "2014-12-14T19:10:43Z")
I should say it’s definitely a solid four days’ practice every week… at least. I mean, I reckon I could hit that tree over there… the one just behind that hillock, not the big hillock, the little hillock on the left. You can see the three trees, the third one from the left and back a bit - that one - I reckon I could hit that four times out of five… on a good day. Say, with this wind… say, say seven times out of ten. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2014, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4008 "2014-12-14T20:22:04Z")
No, I’m afraid not actually guv, we’re fresh out of parrots. I’ll tell you what though … I’ll lop its back legs off, make good, strip the fur, stick a couple of wings on and staple on a beak of your own choice. No problem. Lovely parrot. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4009 "2014-12-15T02:33:07Z")
Well, I hardly think this is good enough. I think it’s be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label, “WARNING: LARK’S VOMIT!!!” ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4010 "2014-12-15T02:57:10Z")
Oh, shove the abattoir, that’s not important. But if any of you could put in a word for me I’d love to be a mason. Masonry opens doors. I’d be very quiet, I was a bit on edge just now but if I were a mason I’d sit at the back and not get in anyone’s way. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4011 "2014-12-15T19:46:03Z")
Well I’ve just been starring in several major multi-million dollar international films, and, during breaks on the set, I’ve been designing a Cathedral, doing wonderful unpublicized work for charity, er, finishing my history of the world, of course, pulling the birds, er, photographing royalty on the loo, averting World War Three - can’t be bad - and, er learning to read. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2014, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4012 "2014-12-16T01:19:26Z")
‘good evening’ ‘you may think it strange that we should be asking you to vote norwegian at the next election’ ‘but consider the advantages’ ‘in norway, we have one of the highest per cappa income rates in europe’ ‘we have an industrial re-investment rate of 14%’ ‘and girls with massive knockers!’ ‘honestly, they’ll do anything for you’ ‘they’ll go through the card’ ‘you name it, they know it’ ‘but there’s one in trondheim who can put her…’ ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2014, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4013 "2014-12-16T18:06:12Z")
A møøse once bit my sister… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4014 "2014-12-18T02:17:37Z")
Is there anyone else up there we could talk to? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2014, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4015 "2014-12-21T03:55:13Z")
Wait, don’t tell me - it’s something to do with moonlight - it goes with her eyes - it’s soft and gentle, warm and yielding, deeply lyrical and yet tender and frightened like a tiny white rabbit. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2014, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4016 "2014-12-21T16:28:42Z")
It IS the rabbit. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2014, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4017 "2014-12-21T17:01:14Z")
It’s Christmas in Heaven The snow falls from the sky But it’s nice and warm, and everyone Looks smart and wears a tie ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2014, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4018 "2014-12-21T17:10:50Z")
And, now…the sound of John Denver being strangled: “You came on my pill-ow…aarghgarghrgrgahhgaraghagragah.” Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2014, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4019 "2014-12-21T17:48:12Z")
It’s Deirdre. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2014, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4020 "2014-12-21T17:56:18Z")
She smells a bit, but she has a heart of gold. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=200) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=202)