# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 202
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2014, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4021 "2014-12-22T04:00:06Z")
He hasn’t got shit all over 'im. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2014, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4022 "2014-12-23T02:29:59Z")
A perfectly ordinary morning in a perfectly ordinary English suburb. Life goes on as it has done for years. But soon this quiet pattern of life was to change irrevocably. The commonplace routine of a typical Monday morning would never be the same again, for into this quiet little community came … Mr Neutron! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2014, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4023 "2014-12-23T02:32:53Z")
We’ve been mentioned on telly! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2014, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4024 "2014-12-23T16:41:05Z")
Button your lip, you ratbag!! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4025 "2014-12-24T19:06:38Z")
I’ve had worse. Come on, ya pansy! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4026 "2014-12-24T19:23:38Z")
No. 1. The larch… the larch. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2014, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4027 "2014-12-25T01:55:40Z")
I will not buy this record, it is scratched. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2014, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4028 "2014-12-25T04:10:36Z")
That might cause a little confusion. Mind if we call you Bruce? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2014, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4029 "2014-12-25T16:51:25Z")
He’s not the Messiah. He’s a very naughty boy! Now, piss off! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2014, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4030 "2014-12-29T00:00:08Z")
I say you are, Lord, and I should know, I’ve followed a few. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2014, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4031 "2014-12-29T01:30:54Z")
Off I went, on a perfectly ordinary kind of day. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2014, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4032 "2014-12-29T04:49:48Z")
Ordinarily, yes, sir, but today the van broke down. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2014, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4033 "2014-12-29T16:22:22Z")
All right! I want a full-scale Red Alert throughout the world! Surround everyone with everything we’ve got! Mobilize every fighting unit and every weapon we can lay our hands on! I want… I want three full-scale global nuclear alerts with every army, navy and air force unit on eternal standby! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2014, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4034 "2014-12-29T16:28:16Z")
Right. Off you go, then. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2014, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4035 "2014-12-30T14:45:28Z")
Hello, the, er, show so far…well it all started with the organist losing all his clothes as he sat down at the organ, and after this had happened and we had seen the titles of the show, we saw Biggles dictating a letter to his secretary, who thought he was Spanish, and whom he referred to as a harlot and a woman of the night, although she preferred to be called a courtesan. Then we saw some people trying to climb a road in Uxbridge. And then there were some cartoons and then some lifeboatmen came into a woman’s sitting room and after a bit the woman went out to buy some cakes on a lifeboat and then a naval officer jumped into the sea. Then we saw a man telling us about storage jars from Bolivia, then there were some more cartoons and a man told us about what happened on the show so far and a great hammer came down and hit him on the head. ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2014, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4036 "2014-12-30T16:22:01Z")
And now for something completely different. A man with a tape recorder up his brother’s nose. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2014, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4037 "2014-12-30T17:38:00Z")
But Doctor Quat was a man of quite remarkable medical insights, skill and determination and within a few minutes he had completely removed my wife’s knickers. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2014, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4038 "2014-12-30T18:47:18Z")
Mr. Notlob, there’s nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can’t prolong. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4039 "2014-12-31T04:10:51Z")
Yes, I know what you mean. I am afraid he is suffering from what we doctors call whooping cough. That is the failure of the autonomic nervous section of the brain, to deal with the nerve impulses that enable you or I to retain some facts and eliminate others. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2015, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4040 "2015-01-05T18:50:12Z")
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