# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 210
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2015, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4181 "2015-03-17T16:24:23Z")
Out please! I’m terribly sorry, sir. We have a lot of problems here with bogus psychiatrists. One of the risks in psychiatry I’m afraid. Unfortunately they do tend to frighten the patient and they can cause real and permanent damage to the treatment. But I assure you that I am a completely bona fide psychiatrist. Here’s my diploma in psychiatry from the University of Oxford. This here shows that I’m a member of the British Psychiatric Association, a very important body indeed. Here’s a letter from another psychiatrist in which he mentions that I’m a psychiatrist. This is my Psychiatric Club tie, and as you can see the cufflinks match. I’ve got a copy of ‘Psychiatry Today’ in my bag, which I think is pretty convincing. And a letter here from my mother in which she asks how the psychiatry is going, and I think you’ll realize that the one person you can’t fool is your mother. So if you’d like to ask me any questions about psychiatry, I bet I can answer them. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2015, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4182 "2015-03-17T18:10:29Z")
Can I please speak! I came all the way from Oslo to do this program! I’m a professor of archaeology. I’m an expert in ancient civilizations. All right, I’m only five foot ten. All right my posture is bad, all right I slump in my chair. But I’ve had more women than either of you two! I’ve had half bloody Norway, that’s what I’ve had! So you can keep your Robert Eversley! And you can keep your bloody Watutsi! I’d rather have my little body… my little five-foot-ten-inch body… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4183 "2015-03-18T04:07:34Z")
…then did we bust the Harry Tony mob, who did seek to import Scandinavian filth via Germany. For six years they cleaned up a packet - the day I got whiff of them through a squealer and within one week did a mop-up right good. They’re now languishing doing five years’ bird in Parkhurst. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4184 "2015-03-23T16:34:19Z")
‘E’s not pinin’! 'E’s passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E’s expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed 'im to the perch 'e’d be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E’s off the twig! 'E’s kicked the bucket, 'e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!! ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2015, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4185 "2015-03-23T18:37:47Z")
I’m not dead! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4186 "2015-03-25T14:17:20Z")
The llama is a quadruped which lives in the big rivers like the Amazon. It has two ears, a heart, a forehead, and a beak for eating honey. But it is provided with fins for swimming. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4187 "2015-03-25T18:54:27Z")
Tell you what, a terrier makes a lovely fish. I could do that for you now. Legs off, fins on, simple metal tube through the back of his head so it could breath, bits of gold paint, make good? ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4188 "2015-03-25T23:59:38Z")
Anyway… ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2015, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4189 "2015-03-26T00:22:41Z")
No. 1: The Larch. The… Larch. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2015, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4190 "2015-03-26T00:28:45Z")
Dennis, there’s some lovely filth down here. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2015, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4191 "2015-03-26T00:38:43Z")
Not at all, Vicar, you’re one of our best customers, you and the United States. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2015, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4192 "2015-03-26T00:41:36Z")
Don’t say the kid’s name, vic! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2015, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4193 "2015-03-26T00:59:48Z")
Look, I had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was, “That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah!” ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2015, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4194 "2015-03-26T01:59:58Z")
Well, don’t. …Now knock it off! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2015, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4195 "2015-03-26T14:10:39Z")
We’ll have none of your imperialist tidbits. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2015, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4196 "2015-03-27T00:28:30Z")
We admit that there have been outbreaks of hanging recently, but the police are trying to keep the situation under control. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2015, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4197 "2015-03-27T01:39:59Z")
Ooo, I’ve 'ad a bitch of a morning, luv! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2015, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4198 "2015-03-27T01:57:49Z")
I’ve had worse. Come on, ya pansy! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2015, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4199 "2015-03-27T12:40:07Z")
I’ve run rings around you logically. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2015, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4200 "2015-03-27T12:47:07Z")
Yes! This couple is just one of the prizes in this year’s Police Raffle. Other prizes include two years for breaking and entering, a crate of search warrants, a ‘What’s all this then?’ T-shirt and a weekend for two with a skinhead of your own choice. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=209) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=211)