# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 221
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2015, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4401 "2015-07-07T15:10:05Z")
If we burn her, she gets stuffed in the flames―crackle, crackle, crackle―which is a bit of a shock if she’s not quite dead. But quick. And then we give you a handful of the ashes, which you can pretend were hers. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2015, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4402 "2015-07-07T16:08:44Z")
SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: ‘ARTHUR FIGGIS’ Lose caption. Pause. CAPTION: ‘THE SAME. A FEW SECONDS LATER’ SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: ‘THAT’S £4.7.6 SO FAR ON CAPTIONS ALONE’ SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: ‘NOT INCLUDING THAT ONE’ ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2015, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4403 "2015-07-07T18:59:42Z")
Thank God for that. For one ghastly moment I thought I was… too late. If only more people would call in the nick of time. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2015, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4404 "2015-07-08T13:50:49Z")
It’s Bicycle Repair Man! But… how? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2015, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4405 "2015-07-08T13:57:12Z")
Ooh I don’t like this, ooh I don’t like that. Ooh I don’t think much to all this. Ooh fancy using that wallpaper. Fancy using mustard. Ooh is that a proper one? Ooh it’s not real. Ooh I don’t think it’s a proper restaurant unless they give you finger bowls. Ooh I don’t like him. I’m going to have a baby in a few years. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2015, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4406 "2015-07-08T16:35:43Z")
Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say “ni” at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land; nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2015, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4407 "2015-07-08T21:32:09Z")
Half a denari? For me bloody life story? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4408 "2015-07-09T21:58:16Z")
Hello? This is a very nice record, this is. A very NICE record. 'at’s why I like it–'cause it’s very…NIIIIICE. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4409 "2015-07-10T04:33:56Z")
Watch it - still a few crosses left. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4410 "2015-07-10T05:23:15Z")
In the hard and unrelenting world of nature, the ceaseless struggle for survival continues. This time one of the pantomime horses concedes defeat and so lives to fight another day. Here, in a colony of sea lions, we see a huge bull sea lion seeing off an intruding bull who is attempting to intrude on his harem. This pattern of aggressive behaviour is typical of these documentaries. Here we see two limpets locked in a life or death struggle for territory. The huge bull limpet, enraged by the rock, endeavours to encircle its sprightly opponent. Here we see an ant. This ant is engaged in a life or death struggle with the wolf. You can see the ant creeping up on the wolf on all sixes. Now he stops to observe. Satisfied that the wolf has not heard him, he approaches nearer. With great skill he chooses his moment and then, quick as a limpet, with one mighty bound buries his fangs in the wolf’s neck. The wolf struggles to no avail… ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4411 "2015-07-10T13:36:10Z")
My advice to you is to put this paper bag over your head - it has little holes there for your eyes, you see - and to ring this bell, and to take this card along to your hospital. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4412 "2015-07-10T19:20:29Z")
[pleasantly] A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4413 "2015-07-10T19:23:27Z")
What, ridden on a horse? You’re using coconuts! You’ve got two empty halves of coconut and you’re banging 'em together! ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2015, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4414 "2015-07-10T22:07:49Z")
…A battle of this kind can take anything up to fifteen years because the timber ant has such a tiny mouth. Here we see Heinz Sielmann engaged in a life or death struggle with Peter Scott. They are engaged in a bitter punch-up over repeat fees on the overseas sales of their nature documentaries. Now they have been joined by an enraged Jacques Cousteau. This is typical of the harsh and bitchy world of television features. Here we see a honey bear not engaged in a life or death struggle about anything. These honey bears are placid and peaceful creatures and consequently bad television… ---
**Author:** ![Tazmanian\_Devil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cc9497/32.png) [@Tazmanian\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tazmanian_Devil)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2015, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4415 "2015-07-12T10:52:05Z")
There’s nothing more dangerous than a wounded mosquito. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4416 "2015-07-13T03:29:54Z")
Pinin’ for the fjords?!? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4417 "2015-07-13T15:38:05Z")
Look, we’ll eat your mum. Then, if you feel a bit guilty about it afterwards, we can dig a grave and you can throw up into it. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2015, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4418 "2015-07-13T15:57:31Z")
Well, hello, it’s the wacky Queen again! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4419 "2015-07-14T03:04:35Z")
How much do you hate the Romans? ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2015, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4420 "2015-07-14T05:45:50Z")
…Here we see a pantomime horse. It is engaged in a life or death struggle for a job with a merchant bank. However, his rival employee, the huge bull pantomime horse, is lying in wait for him. Poor pantomime horse. Here we see a pantomime goose engaged in a life or death struggle with Terence Rattigan. The enraged goose fires. Poor Terence. Another victim of this silly film. Here we see an enraged pantomime Princess Margaret; she is lying in wait for her breakfast. The unsuspecting breakfast glides ever closer to its doom. The enraged pantomime royal person is poised for the kill. She raises her harpoon and fires. Pang! Right in the toast. A brief struggle and all is over. Poor breakfast! Another victim of the… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=220) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=222)