# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 226
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2015, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4501 "2015-08-24T22:49:50Z")
Not much of a cheese shop really, is it? ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2015, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4502 "2015-08-25T14:49:55Z")
Selling, selling. Very good. Very good. Oh, wicked. Wicked. You’re wicked. Eh? Know what I mean. Know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Nudge nudge. Say…no…more. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2015, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4503 "2015-08-25T16:07:22Z")
Red… no, blue! Aiyeeeeeeeeeee! ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2015, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4504 "2015-08-25T16:31:05Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Red… no, blue! Aiyeeeeeeeeeee! This is a misquote; the actual quote is: [Blue…no, yell…oooaaaaauuuuuuuuggggghh](http://www.montypython.net/sounds/hg/favcolor.wav)! ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2015, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4505 "2015-08-25T16:33:53Z")
Good morning. I’m sorry to have kept you waiting, but I’m afraid my walk has become rather sillier recently, and so it takes me rather longer to get to work. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4506 "2015-08-26T01:49:49Z")
Thanks, **Knorf**. We interrupt this programme to annoy you and make things generally irritating for you. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4507 "2015-08-26T02:12:27Z")
It’s… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4508 "2015-08-26T11:36:14Z")
It’s a Mr. Death, dear. He’s here about the reaping. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4509 "2015-08-26T13:03:17Z")
No! I want a blow on the head. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4510 "2015-08-26T14:22:52Z")
Hello, good evening and welcome to another edition of _Blood, Devastation, Death, War and Horror_, and later on we’ll be meeting a man who does gardening. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4511 "2015-08-26T14:28:46Z")
What a stupid concept! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4512 "2015-08-26T14:49:19Z")
If we took the bones out, it wouldn’t be crunchy, would it? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4513 "2015-08-26T14:57:16Z")
Oh, shove the abattoir, it’s not important. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4514 "2015-08-26T18:12:22Z")
I would cut off the more disreputable parts of the body and use the space for playing fields. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4515 "2015-08-26T18:23:34Z")
It was a day like any other and Mr and Mrs Samuel Brainsample were a perfectly ordinary couple, leading perfectly ordinary lives - the sort of people to whom nothing extraordinary ever happened, and not the kind of people to be the centre of one of the most astounding incidents in the history of mankind … So let’s forget about them and follow instead the destiny of this man … (camera pans off them; they both look disappointed; camera picks up instead a smart little business man, in bowler, briefcase and pinstripes) … Harold Potter, gardener, and tax official, first victim of Creatures from another Planet. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4516 "2015-08-26T18:56:22Z")
Mr. and Mrs. Watson of Ivy Cottage, Worplesdon Road, Hull, chose a very cunning way of not being seen. When we called at their house, we found that they had gone away on two weeks holiday. They had not left any forwading address, and they had bolted and barred the house to prevent us from getting in. However a neighbour told us where there were. \*\*\*\*\* KABOOM!!! \*\*\*\*\* And here is the neighbour… \*\*\*\*\* KABOOM!!! \*\*\*\*\* Here is where he lived… \*\*\*\*\* KABOOM!!! \*\*\*\*\* And this is where Lord Langdin lived who refused to speak to us… \*\*\*\*\* KABOOM!!! \*\*\*\*\* So did the gentleman who lived here… \*\*\*\*\* KABOOM!!! \*\*\*\*\* and here… \*\*\*\*\* KABOOM!!! \*\*\*\*\* and of course here… \*\*\*\*\* KABOOOOOM!!! \*\*\*\*\* ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4517 "2015-08-26T22:27:19Z")
This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again how sheep’s bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4518 "2015-08-27T16:24:29Z")
Now, old lady: you have one last chance. Confess the heinous sin of heresy, reject the works of the ungodly—_two_ last chances. And you shall be free—_three_ last chances. You have three last chances, the nature of which I have divulged in my previous utterance. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4519 "2015-08-27T16:46:01Z")
[[Fish-Slapping Dance](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhJQp-q1Y1s)] ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4520 "2015-08-27T18:52:34Z")
Have you got any… \*will you shut that bloody dancing up?! \* [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=225) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=227)