# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 248
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2016, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4941 "2016-03-13T22:05:13Z")
No, sorry - Thursday’s RIGHT!!! OUT!!! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4942 "2016-03-14T03:08:01Z")
Mr Oliver Cavendish of Leicester, who claims to be able to recite the entire Bible in one second, whilst being struck on the head with a large axe. Ha, ha, wow. We’ve since discovered that he was a fraud, yes a fraud, he did not in fact recite the entire Bible he merely recited the first two words, ‘In the…’ before his death. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4943 "2016-03-14T04:04:48Z")
Not much of a cheese shop, is it, really? ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4944 "2016-03-14T05:36:39Z")
If you want to join the PFJ, you’d really have to hate the Romans. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4945 "2016-03-14T14:21:37Z")
It’s a bazooka! ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4946 "2016-03-14T14:42:31Z")
Splunge? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4947 "2016-03-14T15:30:42Z")
I’m taking this lot in in the name of Her Gracious Majesty Queen Elizabeth. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4948 "2016-03-14T19:45:25Z")
Hold it, please! Hold it! This is Sir Lancelot from the court of Camelot, a very brave and influential knight, and my special guest here today. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4949 "2016-03-14T23:45:12Z")
I…want…more…b-e-a-n-s!!! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2016, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4950 "2016-03-15T16:51:32Z")
You bastards! You vicious, heartless bastards! Look what you’ve done to him! He’s worked his fingers to the bone to make this place what it is, and you come in with your petty feeble quibbling and you grind him into the dirt, this fine, honourable man, whose boots you are not worthy to kiss. Oh… it makes me mad… mad! ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2016, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4951 "2016-03-15T17:23:17Z")
You have been found guilty by the elders of the town of uttering the name of our Lord, and so, as a blasphemer, you are to be stoned to death. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2016, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4952 "2016-03-15T19:00:59Z")
Exhibit A m’lud, Miss Rita Thang, an artist’s model, Swedish accordion teacher and cane-chair sales lady, was found guilty under the Rude Behaviour Act in the accused’s court. The accused, m’lud, sentenced her to be taken from this place and brought round to his place. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2016, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4953 "2016-03-15T19:05:50Z")
Theatrical managers in this area have not been slow to appreciate the sea’s tremendous dramatic value. And somewhere, out in this bay, is the first underwater production of _Measure for Measure_. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2016, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4954 "2016-03-15T22:50:08Z")
Can I please speak! I came all the way from Oslo to do this program! I’m a professor of archaeology. I’m an expert in ancient civilizations. All right, I’m only five foot ten. All right my posture is bad, all right I slump in my chair. But I’ve had more women than either of you two! I’ve had half bloody Norway, that’s what I’ve had! So you can keep your Robert Eversley! And you can keep your bloody Watutsi! I’d rather have my little body… my little five-foot-ten-inch body… (he breaks down sobbing) ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2016, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4955 "2016-03-16T00:52:34Z")
No no, I mean, because we are members of the Protestant Reformed Church which successfully challenged the autocratic power of the Papacy in the mid-sixteenth century, we can wear little rubber devices to prevent issue. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2016, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4956 "2016-03-16T14:02:28Z")
I want that man fighting wild dogs by the end of the day! ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2016, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4957 "2016-03-16T14:34:31Z")
We didn’t. Oh great. That’s even better. I’ll put it back in. Rewrite. (calling) Scene one’s back in everyone. Scene one’s back in. Great. Great. (to Conger) This is the scene - outside the tent - it’s all bloody marvelous. It makes you want to throw up. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2016, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4958 "2016-03-16T17:33:45Z")
I would only perform in a scene in which there was full frontal nudity. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2016, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4959 "2016-03-16T17:35:19Z")
Oh, Dennis, forget about freedom. We haven’t got enough mud. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2016, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4960 "2016-03-16T18:45:18Z")
This house is surrounded. I’m afraid I must not ask anyone to leave the room. No, I must ask nobody … no, I must ask everybody to… I must not ask anyone to leave the room. No one must be asked by me to leave the room. No, no one must ask the room to leave. I … I … ask the room shall by someone be left. Not. Ask nobody the room somebody leave shall I. Shall I leave the room? Everyone must leave the room… as it is… with them in it. Phew. Understand? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=247) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=249)