# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 249
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2016, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4961 "2016-03-16T23:35:43Z")
Cut, cut, cut, blood, spurt, artery, murder, Hitchcock, Psycho… right sir … well … (swallows hard) I’ll just get everything ready. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2016, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4962 "2016-03-17T00:06:44Z")
Oh, blimey. You’d think he was awake all the night, scrabbling down by the wainscotting. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2016, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4963 "2016-03-17T04:08:35Z")
The directors of the firm hired to continue the credits after the other people had been sacked, wish it to be known that they have just been sacked. The credits have been completed in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute. Executive Producer JOHN GOLDSTONE & “RALPH” The Wonder Llama Producer MARK FORSTATER Assisted By EARL J. LLAMA MIKE Q. LLAMA III SY LLAMA MERLE Z. LLAMA IX Directed By 40 SPECIALLY TRAINED ECUADORIAN MOUNTAIN LLAMAS 6 VENEZUELAN RED LLAMAS 142 MEXICAN WHOOPING LLAMAS 14 NORTH CHILEAN GUANACOS (CLOSELY RELATED TO THE LLAMA) REG LLAMA OF BRIXTON 76000 BATTERY LLAMAS FROM “LLAMA-FRESH” FARMS LTD. NEAR PARAGUAY and TERRY GILLIAM & TERRY JONES ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2016, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4964 "2016-03-17T05:21:24Z")
Ni! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2016, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4965 "2016-03-17T10:25:19Z")
Oh, you’ve no idea how the kids get taunted. Why, only last week Dirty Lying Little Two-Faced came running home from school, sobbing his eyes out, and our youngest, Ghastly Spotty Horrible Vicious Little is just at the age when taunts like ‘she’s a git’ really hurt. Yes. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2016, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4966 "2016-03-17T16:09:50Z")
There are pages in history’s book which are written on the grand scale. Events so momentous that they dwarf man and time alike. And such is the Battle of Pearl Harbour, re-enacted for us now by the women of Barley Townswomen’s Guild. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2016, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4967 "2016-03-17T16:43:15Z")
Good Lord! The Crimson Permanent Assurance! ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2016, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4968 "2016-03-19T06:54:48Z")
“I FLING her.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2016, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4969 "2016-03-19T22:42:23Z")
We done passionfruit. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2016, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4970 "2016-03-20T12:34:46Z")
Thats the news for wombats, and now Attila the Bun! ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2016, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4971 "2016-03-20T15:53:18Z")
Well i’m more interesting than a wet pussycat! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2016, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4972 "2016-03-20T22:08:37Z")
We _are_ struggling together! ---
**Author:** ![Biffster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biffster/32/339_2.png) [@Biffster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffster)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2016, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4973 "2016-03-20T22:17:06Z")
It’s a miracle! He has made the juniper bushes fruitful by his word! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2016, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4974 "2016-03-20T23:09:39Z")
You see, I knew there was something going on. Of course, the Big Cheese made two mistakes. First of all he didn’t recognize me: Lemming, Arthur Lemming, Special Investigator, British Dental Association, and second … spit … by the time I got back from lunch I had every dental surgeon in SW1 waiting for them all in the broom cupboard. Funny isn’t it, how naughty dentists always make that one fatal mistake. Bye for now … keep your teeth clean. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2016, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4975 "2016-03-21T05:27:07Z")
Oh, oh, I see, running away then. You yellow bastard! Come back here and take what’s coming to you! I’ll bite your legs off! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2016, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4976 "2016-03-21T17:10:52Z")
What is your name, Jew? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2016, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4977 "2016-03-22T16:10:57Z")
'c.u. Pratt killed outright, bowled odinga - 0. P.b.t.r. Pratt legs off before wicket, bowled odinga - 0. B.b.c.t.v. Pratt assegai up jacksey, bowled unboko - 0. Z. Pratt machete before wicket, ‘bowled umbonga - 0. M.j.k. Pratt stump through head, bowled umbonga - 0. V.e. Pratt ran away - 0. P.d.a. Pratt retired hurt - 0. W.g. Pratt retired very hurt - 0. Pratt died of fright, bowled odinga - 0. Y.e.t.a.n.o.t.h.e.r. Pratt not out but dreadfully hurt- 139.’ ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2016, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4978 "2016-03-22T17:04:37Z")
Good evening. Over 400,000 million pounds were wiped off the value of shares this afternoon, when someone in the Stock Exchange coughed. Sport: capital punishment is to be re-introduced in the first and second division. Any player found tackling from behind or controlling the ball with the lower part of the arm will be hanged. But the electric chair remains the standard punishment for threatening the goalie. Referee’s chairman, Len Goebbels said ‘at last the referee has been given teeth’. Finally, politics: the latest opinion poll published today shows Labour ahead with 40%, the AA second with 38% and not surprisingly, Kentucky Fried Chicken running the Liberals a very close third. And now back to me. Hello. And now it’s time to go over to Hugh Delaney in Paignton. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2016, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4979 "2016-03-22T17:59:37Z")
Well, there’s egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg, bacon and spam; egg, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam; spam, spam, spam, egg and spam; spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam; or Lobster thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2016, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/4980 "2016-03-22T18:10:35Z")
Hidden behind the faceless, towering canyons of glass, the world of high finance sat smug and self-satisfied as their future—in the shape of their past—slipped silently through the streets, returning to wreak a terrible revenge. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=248) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=250)