# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 261
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2016, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5201 "2016-05-06T16:31:58Z")
Warning: Larks’ Vomit! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2016, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5202 "2016-05-06T18:25:45Z")
Look! It’s Bicycle Repair Man! But… how? ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2016, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5203 "2016-05-06T18:41:35Z")
It’s \*spelled \*Raymond Luxury-Yacht, but it’s pronounced Throat-Warbler Mangrove. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2016, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5204 "2016-05-06T19:08:25Z")
Howls of derisive laughter, Bruce! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2016, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5205 "2016-05-07T01:48:24Z")
Well she’s broken our hearts, the little bastard. She’s been nothing but trouble and if she comes round here again I’ll kick her teeth in. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2016, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5206 "2016-05-07T04:10:21Z")
It’s not a palindrome. Bolton spelt backwards is “Notlob.” ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2016, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5207 "2016-05-07T04:15:10Z")
Take it away Eric the Orchestra Leader A-one, two, a-one two three four Half a bee, philosophically, Must, ipso facto, half not be. But half the bee has got to be Vis a vis, its entity. D’you see? But can a bee be said to be Or not to be an entire bee When half the bee is not a bee Due to some ancient injury? -singing La dee dee, one two three, Eric the half a bee. A B C D E F G, Eric the half a bee. Is this wretched demi-bee, Half-asleep upon my knee, Some freak from a menagerie? No! It’s Eric the half a bee! Fiddle de dum, Fiddle de dee, Eric the half a bee. Ho ho ho, tee hee hee, Eric the half a bee. I love this hive, employee-ee, Bisected accidentally, One summer afternoon by me, I love him carnally. He loves him carnally, Semi-carnally. The End Cyril Connolly? No, semi-carnally Oh Cyril Connoly ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2016, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5208 "2016-05-07T18:06:32Z")
Yes, she’s very good. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2016, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5209 "2016-05-07T20:33:00Z")
They must think the sun shines out o’ your arse, sonny. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2016, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5210 "2016-05-07T23:53:08Z")
We are NOT ess-kee-moes! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Ace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/6bbea6/32.png) [@Johnny\_Ace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Ace)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2016, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5211 "2016-05-08T00:49:16Z")
Rule 1: No poofters. Rule 2: No member of the faculty is to maltreat the “Abos” in any way whatsoever—if there’s anyone watching. Rule 3: No poofters. Rule 4 : I don’t want to catch anyone not drinking in their room after lights out. Rule 5: No poofters. Rule 6: There is no rule six. Rule 7: No poofters. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2016, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5212 "2016-05-08T01:23:24Z")
Right! Bananas! How to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. (to first man) Here, you, take this. (throws him a banana) Now, it’s quite simple to defend yourself against the banana fiend. First of all, you force him to drop the banana, next, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him helpless. ---
**Author:** ![Medici](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Medici](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medici)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2016, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5213 "2016-05-08T01:51:55Z")
My doorbell rang at 1 am - it gave me quite a fright. My neighbour stood there on the step; and would she stay the night? “Oh, no,” said she, with haughty frown, "I haven’t come for _that!_ "I’m leaving town at crack of dawn - “I’ve come to get my hat.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2016, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5214 "2016-05-08T02:24:03Z")
I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2016, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5215 "2016-05-08T03:49:07Z")
I want to be a lion-tamer. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2016, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5216 "2016-05-08T12:00:01Z")
Wait for it… fetch out the funny things. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2016, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5217 "2016-05-08T15:00:41Z")
And now here comes Vivian, to insult the waiter, and he is heaping abuse on him, and he is humiliating him, and he’s gone into the lead. Simon’s not with him, no Vivian’s in front of him at the bar. Simon’s got to get under this bar and this is extremely difficult as it requires absolutely expert co-ordination between mind and body. No Vivian isn’t there. Here we go again and Simon’s fallen backwards. Here’s Nigel, he’s tripped, Nigel has tripped, and he’s under and Simon fails again, er, here is Gervaise, and Simon is through by accident. Here’s Gervaise to be the last one over, there we are, here’s Nigel right at the head of the field, and now he’s going to shoot the rabbit, and these rabbits have been tied to the ground, and they’re going to be a bit frisky, and this is only a one-day event. And they’re blazing away there. They’re not getting quite the results that they might, Gervaise is in there trying to bash it to death with the butt of his rifle, and I think Nigel’s in there with his bare hands, but they’re not getting the results that they might, but it is a little bit misty today and they must be shooting from a range of at least one foot. But they’ve had a couple of hits there I think, yes, they’ve had a couple of hits, and the whole field is up again and here they are. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2016, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5218 "2016-05-08T15:13:41Z")
Er, well my manager explained it to me. You see if you’re five miles out over the English Channel, with nothing but sea underneath you, er, there is a very great impetus to say in the air. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2016, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5219 "2016-05-08T18:40:00Z")
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, etc. etc. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2016, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5220 "2016-05-08T23:51:18Z")
We did think once of having it changed by deed-poll, you know - to Watson or something like that. But A Snivelling Little Rat-Faced Watson’s just as bad eh? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=260) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=262)