# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 262
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2016, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5221 "2016-05-09T00:33:33Z")
I like Black Rod. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2016, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5222 "2016-05-09T00:56:02Z")
and it’s PRODUCED BY IRVING C. SALTZBERG JNR. AN IRVING C. SALTZBERG PRODUCTIONS LTD. AND SALTZBERG ARTFILMS, OIL, REAL ESTATE, BANKING AND PROSTITUTION INC. CO-PRODUCTION FROM AN ORIGINAL IDEA BY IRVING C. SALTZBERG JNR. ---
**Author:** ![Medici](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Medici](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medici)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2016, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5223 "2016-05-09T01:20:01Z")
What’s his problem? His wife left him for a horse. You must be joking! That’s what _he_ said. But then the horse won the Grand National, and there was talk of a wedding. But that’s impossible! That’s what _he_ said. So what happened then? The horse met a filly at Newmarket, and the wedding was off. I still don’t believe it! That’s what _he_ said. So what’s he upset about? His wife came back to him, but insisted on keeping a saddle in the bedroom I wouldn’t stand for that. That’s what _he_ said. And …? He left her for a greyhound. What the …? That’s what _she_ said. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2016, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5224 "2016-05-09T04:07:35Z")
It’s quite staggeringly popular in the manor, squire. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2016, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5225 "2016-05-09T05:11:35Z")
He hasn’t got shit all over him. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2016, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5226 "2016-05-09T12:02:48Z")
Oh, you’re no fun any more. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2016, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5227 "2016-05-09T15:08:41Z")
Do you want to come upstairs? ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2016, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5228 "2016-05-10T03:19:48Z")
It was a day like any other, and Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Brainsample were a perfectly ordinary couple, leading perfectly ordinary lives: the sort of people to whom nothing extraordinary ever happened, and not the kind of people to be the center of one of the most astounding incidents in the history of mankind. So let’s forget about them and follow instead the destiny of this man: Harold Potter, gardener and tax official, first victim of creatures from another planet. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Ace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/6bbea6/32.png) [@Johnny\_Ace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Ace)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2016, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5229 "2016-05-10T03:51:59Z")
Understand? Yes, sir! Now, write that a hundred times. Yes, sir! Thank you, sir! Hail Caesar, sir! Hail Caesar. If it’s not done by sunrise, I’ll cut your balls off. Oh, thank you, sir! Thank you, sir! Hail Caesar and everything, sir! ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2016, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5230 "2016-05-10T04:57:10Z")
Oh go get a glass of water. ---
**Author:** ![Medici](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Medici](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medici)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2016, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5231 "2016-05-10T08:58:25Z")
How do you like my new poem: I wandered lonely as a cloud? Oh, I’ve heard that before … somewhere. Of course you have. I’m a plagiarist. What’s a plagiarist? Well, that depends. On what? On whether you’re a velocipede or an enchantress. What’s the difference? Well, the answer to that is contained in my latest deluxe volume of plagiarised poems. How much is it? Two hundred and fifty dollars. It’s quite expensive. Not for a first edition. Will you accept cash? I don’t have a bankcard. Oh, absolutely. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2016, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5232 "2016-05-10T11:46:53Z")
This is a frightened city. Over these houses, over these streets hangs a pall of fear. Fear of a new kind of violence which is terrorizing the city. Yes, gangs of old ladies attacking defenseless, fit young men. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2016, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5233 "2016-05-10T14:19:45Z")
Come in, my little loves. I’ve got no option but to sell you all for scientific experiments. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Ace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/6bbea6/32.png) [@Johnny\_Ace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Ace)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2016, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5234 "2016-05-10T18:37:00Z")
It’s only a model. (Sssh) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2016, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5235 "2016-05-10T20:20:14Z")
It’s… ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2016, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5236 "2016-05-11T02:21:47Z")
Well men, we’ve got a pretty difficult cat to confuse today so let’s get straight on with it. Jolly good. Thank you sergeant. ---
**Author:** ![Medici](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Medici](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medici)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2016, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5237 "2016-05-11T08:34:56Z")
He said I was his dearest love; he promised me a ring. But now he’s gone - a thief who stole my heart and everything. What a sad little tale. Yes, but he gets his just deserts in the end. Oh? What happens? What’s the worst thing you can think of? His tongue is cut out. Worse than that. He’s blinded - like Samson. Worse than that. He’s castrated. Worse than that. Oh, this sounds like a lot of bullshit! Now you’re on the right track. You don’t mean …? Well, if you’re thinking what I’m thinking, I probably do. Oh, that’s …! Quite. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2016, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5238 "2016-05-11T15:50:35Z")
Hello, Mrs. Teal, lovely to have you on the show. Now Mrs. Teal, if you’re looking in tonight, this is for 15 pounds: and is to stop us from revealing the name of your LOVER IN BOLTON. So, Mrs. Teal, send us 15 pounds, by return of post please, and your husband Trevor, and your lovely children Diane, Janice, and Juliet, need never know the name…of your lover in Bolton! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2016, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5239 "2016-05-12T00:54:36Z")
I haven’t had enough of the permissive society. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2016, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5240 "2016-05-12T14:09:20Z")
Bit lumpy…Ah no wonder - I was sitting on the cat. (fave alltime sketch, btw) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=261) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=263)