# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 263
**Author:** ![Totenfeier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@Totenfeier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totenfeier)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2016, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5241 "2016-05-12T19:27:00Z")
…spam spam spam Spam spam spam spam Spam… ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2016, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5242 "2016-05-13T01:45:05Z")
Well Bruce, I heard the Prime Minister use it. S’hot enough to boil a monkey’s bum in ‘ere, your Majesty,’ he said and she smiled quietly to herself. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Ace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/6bbea6/32.png) [@Johnny\_Ace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Ace)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2016, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5243 "2016-05-15T22:12:20Z")
This morning, shortly after eleven o’clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibley Road. Sudden…violent…comedy. Police have sealed off the area, and Scotland Yard’s crack inspector is with me now. ---
**Author:** ![Medici](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Medici](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medici)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2016, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5244 "2016-05-18T01:29:28Z")
You’ve heard of that man who mistook his wife for a hat? Yes … well, sort of. We had a friend who mistook his wife for an overcoat, and it being a cold day, tried to put her on. Good heavens! What happened? The wife strenuously objected, and beat him up. And …? The husband sued her for assault. Go on … The judge said it was a sad case of misadventure, and awarded costs against the wife. That hardly seems fair. That’s what the wife said. But she had the last word. Yes …? She shot and killed the husband, and said she mistook him for a burglar. The coroner said it was a sad case of misadventure. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2016, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5245 "2016-05-18T05:33:27Z")
Look! The dead Prince! ---
**Author:** ![Medici](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Medici](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medici)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2016, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5246 "2016-05-20T04:34:21Z")
We all went down to the cathedral yesterday. Oh, yes? Yes, and when we got there they were wheeling out the cannon. Poor thing was in bad shape. Drunk again? What? No, it was a gun cannon. Ah. Top man, eh? What …? ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2016, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5247 "2016-05-21T21:26:05Z")
I see that you have a cabbage. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2016, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5248 "2016-05-21T22:49:17Z")
I see that you have a cabbage. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Ace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/6bbea6/32.png) [@Johnny\_Ace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Ace)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2016, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5249 "2016-05-22T02:11:37Z")
I did ask you not to say ‘mattress,’ didn’t I? Now I’ve got to stand in the tea chest. ---
**Author:** ![Medici](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Medici](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medici)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2016, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5250 "2016-05-22T08:35:12Z")
Hello, Prof. Pepperwinkle. My posts are my own work, with occasional oblique references to other things that already exist. For instance, in the post referring to the battle of Balaklava, the last line: “… watching all the souls go by” was an obvious take on " … watching all the girls go by" in a published song. I hope I’m not departing too far from the surrealistic intent of this thread, because my posts are not, I think, quite Pythonesque. But I do derive a great deal of pleasure in composing them - which I suppose is to the point of the exercise. Anyway, thank you for your interest. I for one like having my work read - as G. K. Chesterton (I think) once said of his preferred obituary: “His sins were scarlet, but his books were read.” Regards, Medici. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2016, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5251 "2016-05-22T08:51:38Z")
Yes, shrubberies are my trade; I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2016, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5252 "2016-05-22T12:30:25Z")
Ni! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2016, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5253 "2016-05-22T13:08:49Z")
Shut up. Now, let’s have a look at the sales chart. When you took over this account, Frog, Conquistador was a brand leader. Here you introduced your first campaign, ‘Conquistador Coffee brings a new meaning to the word vomit’. Here you made your special introductory offer of a free dead dog with every jar, and this followed your second campaign ‘the tingling fresh coffee which brings you exciting new cholera, mange, dropsy, the clap, hard pad and athlete’s head. From the House of Conquistador’. ---
**Author:** ![Medici](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Medici](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medici)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2016, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5254 "2016-05-23T00:40:36Z")
Morbid thoughts of ill-done deeds sprout within my mind like weeds. Each waking hour, from first to last, they blight the present with the past. I took her out at dead of night and buried her by candlelight, amongst the gum trees in the park. (There’s no-one out there after dark.) I know I should have bought a plot - the kind the local Council’s got. But times are tough, the money tight, and no-one mourns the beggar’s plight. So as I sit and rue the past, those morbid thoughts come thick and fast. If they don’t stop, it’s very plain - I’ll have to dig her up again. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2016, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5255 "2016-05-23T00:44:06Z")
[giant foot smashes down] ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Ace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/6bbea6/32.png) [@Johnny\_Ace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Ace)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2016, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5256 "2016-05-23T01:27:53Z")
My hovercraft is full of eels. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2016, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5257 "2016-05-23T03:27:31Z")
Luxury. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2016, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5258 "2016-05-23T03:32:57Z")
> [@Johnny\_Ace](#): > > My hovercraft is full of eels. > **[Translations of My hovercraft is full of eels in many languages](https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hovercraft.htm)** > > How to tell people that your hovercraft has been infested with eels in many different languages. and IN 1970, THE BRITISH EMPIRE LAY IN RUINS, FOREIGN NATIONALS FREQUENTED THE STREETS - MANY OF THEM HUNGARIANS (NOT THE STREETS - THE FOREIGN NATIONALS). ANYWAY, MANY OF THESE HUNGARIANS WENT INTO TOBACCONIST’S SHOPS TO BUY CIGARETTES… ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2016, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5259 "2016-05-23T12:21:50Z")
Beautiful plumage! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Ace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/6bbea6/32.png) [@Johnny\_Ace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Ace)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5260 "2016-05-24T00:23:32Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > [http://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hovercraft.htm](http://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hovercraft.htm) > > and > > IN 1970, THE BRITISH EMPIRE LAY IN RUINS, FOREIGN NATIONALS FREQUENTED THE STREETS - MANY OF THEM HUNGARIANS (NOT THE STREETS - THE FOREIGN NATIONALS). ANYWAY, MANY OF THESE HUNGARIANS WENT INTO TOBACCONIST’S SHOPS TO BUY CIGARETTES… Interestingly, the Spanish translation is ‘airslider.’ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=262) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=264)