# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 282
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2016, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5621 "2016-09-29T19:13:56Z")
O Lord, please don’t burn us. Don’t grill or toast your flock. Don’t put us on the barbecue Or simmer us in stock. Don’t braise or bake or boil us, Or stir-fry us in a wok. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2016, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5622 "2016-10-01T01:22:30Z")
It’s an entirely new strain of sheep, a killer sheep that can not only hold a rifle but is also a first-class shot. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2016, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5623 "2016-10-01T13:19:54Z")
Frank’s a nice name. President Nixon’s got a hedgehog called Frank. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2016, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5624 "2016-10-01T16:05:40Z")
Dad… ? (A middle-aged man appears from the broom cupboard.) Yeah? No no, my dad… ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2016, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5625 "2016-10-01T20:52:44Z")
No, not the curtains, lad. All that you can see! Stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This’ll be your kingdom, lad! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5626 "2016-10-02T20:40:01Z")
Look, it’s quite simple. You just stay here, and make sure he doesn’t leave the room. All right? ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5627 "2016-10-03T04:19:09Z")
Right - do you want it with the body and one relative flown back, or you can have both bodies flown back and no relatives, or four relatives, no bodies, and the ashes sent by parcel post. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5628 "2016-10-03T04:20:09Z")
We can guarantee you that not a single armoured division will get done over for… fifteen bob a week. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5629 "2016-10-03T05:37:05Z")
Well, tough titty for you, Fish Face! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5630 "2016-10-03T05:51:25Z")
I was only asking her to shut up so I can hear what he’s saying, Big Nose. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5631 "2016-10-03T12:43:16Z")
Who approacheth the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5632 "2016-10-03T14:00:21Z")
This is Uncle Ted in front of the house…This is Uncle Ted at the back of the house…And this is Uncle Ted at the side of the house…This is Uncle Ted back in front of the house, but you can see the side of the house…And this is Uncle Ted even nearer the side of the house, but you can still see the front…This is the back of the house, with Uncle Ted coming round the side to the front…And the is the Spanish Inquisition hiding behind the coal shed. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2016, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5633 "2016-10-03T17:34:42Z")
Look, that rabbit’s got a vicious streak a mile wide! It’s a killer! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2016, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5634 "2016-10-04T03:59:35Z")
Next week we’ll be showing you how to pick up an architect, how to pull a prime minister, and how to have fun with a wholesale poulterer. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2016, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5635 "2016-10-04T15:35:14Z")
Shall I “thwow” him to the floor, sir? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2016, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5636 "2016-10-04T15:41:14Z")
Oh, don’t grovel! Do get up. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s people grovelling! And don’t apologize! Every time I try to talk to someone it’s “sorry” this and “forgive me” that and “I’m not worthy” and… what are you doing now? ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2016, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5637 "2016-10-04T18:12:35Z")
Yes. Good. Nibbling the earlobe, uh, kneading the buttocks, and so on and so forth. So, we have all these possibilities before we stampede towards the clitoris, Watson. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2016, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5638 "2016-10-04T20:03:38Z")
Dear Sir, I am writing to complain about that sketch about people failing out of a high building. I have worked all my life in such a building and have never once - aaaaaaaaarrrgghh!!! (splat) ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2016, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5639 "2016-10-05T16:58:12Z")
Tough titty if it did, you nasty, spotted prancer! ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2016, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5640 "2016-10-06T00:18:21Z")
In that case I shall have to kill you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=281) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=283)