# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 285
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2016, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5681 "2016-10-20T14:18:26Z")
Mr Bradshaw, will you stand up, please. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2016, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5682 "2016-10-20T23:31:49Z")
Oh, what I wouldn’t give to be spat at in the face. I sometimes hang awake at night dreaming of being spat at in the face. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2016, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5683 "2016-10-20T23:32:37Z")
Good evening. My name is Equator, Brian Equator. Like round the middle of the Earth, only with an L. (wheezing laugh) This is my wife Audrey, she smells a bit but she has a heart of gold. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2016, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5684 "2016-10-20T23:56:18Z")
I’m afraid I have a speech impediment. I can’t pronounce the letter B. Yes, that’s right, B. It’s all due to a trauma I suffered when I was a sboolboy. I was attacked by a Siamese bat. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2016, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5685 "2016-10-21T01:15:35Z")
Not much ca-- it’s the single most popular cheese in the world! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2016, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5686 "2016-10-21T01:42:51Z")
Don’t you talk to me like that, you lying bastard. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2016, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5687 "2016-10-21T10:12:46Z")
What a silly bunt. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2016, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5688 "2016-10-25T00:09:28Z")
Yes, I am. Yes. Yes, very very rich. Quite phenomenally wealthy. Yes, I do own the most startling quantities of cash. Yes, quite right. You’re rather a smart young lad aren’t you. We could do with somebody like you to feed the pantomime horse. Very smart. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2016, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5689 "2016-10-25T03:42:32Z")
Look, you stupid bastard, you’ve got no arms left! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2016, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5690 "2016-10-25T15:55:17Z")
Couldn’t you have your balls cut off? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2016, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5691 "2016-10-25T16:32:55Z")
And on my right - putting the case against the Government - is a small patch of brown liquid, which could be creosote or some extract used in industrial varnishing. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2016, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5692 "2016-10-25T17:49:34Z")
This is a 12-story block combining classical neo-Georgian features with the efficiency of modern techniques. The tenants arrive here and are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort, past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last twenty feet of the corridor are heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes and the mangled flesh slurps into these… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2016, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5693 "2016-10-25T18:30:30Z")
The cat just choked on a lupin! ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2016, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5694 "2016-10-25T23:40:11Z")
The Universe consists of a billion, billion galaxies… 77,000,000,000 miles across, and every galaxy is made up of a billion, zillion stars and around these stars circle a billion planets, and of all of these planets the greenest and the pleasantest is the planet Earth, in the system of Sol, in the Galaxy known as the Milky Way … And it was to this world that creatures of an alien planet came … to conquer and destroy the very heart of civilization… ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2016, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5695 "2016-10-26T01:53:29Z")
Dunfermline in Scotland. Well let me introduce you, Mr Ohn Ith… ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2016, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5696 "2016-10-26T02:12:17Z")
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise…surprise and fear…fear and surprise… our two weapons are fear and surprise…and ruthless efficiency… Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency…and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope… Our four…no… amongst our weapons… amongst our weaponry…are such elements as fear, surprise… I’ll come in again ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2016, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5697 "2016-10-26T02:23:37Z")
Yes, I will! I _will_!!! I’ve been pushed around long enough. This is it. This is your monent Arthur Pewtey - this is it Arthur Pewtey. At last you’re a man!!! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2016, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5698 "2016-10-26T02:57:57Z")
On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot. 'Tis a silly place. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2016, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5699 "2016-10-26T03:08:37Z")
Well… the enemy were all wearing little silver halos, sir. And they had fairy wands with big stars on the end, and… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2016, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5700 "2016-10-26T14:38:18Z")
Run away! Run away! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=284) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=286)