# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 291
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2016, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5801 "2016-11-26T02:25:14Z")
Yes, sir. Bugged or unbugged? ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2016, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5802 "2016-11-26T02:43:25Z")
Waiter, this conversation isn’t very good. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2016, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5803 "2016-11-26T12:40:35Z")
We use only the finest baby frogs, dew picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope and lovingly frosted with glucose. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2016, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5804 "2016-11-26T12:45:52Z")
Right, do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2016, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5805 "2016-11-26T16:13:40Z")
Operator, get me the British Dental Association. And hurry! ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2016, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5806 "2016-11-26T21:13:15Z")
My heart aches and a drowsy numbness pains My senses, as though an anteater I’d seen (_panic spreads and the audience half rise_) A nasty long-nosed brute (_screams from the audience_) With furry legs and sticky darting tongue I seem to feel its cruel jaws Crunch crunch there go my legs Snap snap my thorax too (_various screaming women faint_) My head’s in a twain, there goes my brain Swallow, swallow, swallow, slurp ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2016, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5807 "2016-11-27T02:11:14Z")
Is your name not Bruce, then? ---
**Author:** ![Ken001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/43a26b/32.png) [@Ken001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ken001)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2016, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5808 "2016-11-27T09:53:08Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > We use only the finest baby frogs, dew picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope and lovingly frosted with glucose. We have to protect the public! People aren’t going to think there’s a real frog in chocolate. Constable Clitoris thought it was an almond whirl. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2016, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5809 "2016-11-27T11:04:47Z")
**Hamlet:** [on a psychiatrist’s couch] It’s just that anywhere I go it’s the same old thing. All anyone wants me to say is “to be or not to be”. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2016, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5810 "2016-11-27T14:52:17Z")
Dirty books, please. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2016, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5811 "2016-11-27T18:12:29Z")
At 10:30 every morning Ken arrives at what he thinks is the gym. Sometimes it’s a sweetshop, sometimes it’s a private house. Today its a hospital. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2016, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5812 "2016-11-27T22:17:59Z")
“It’s hotter than a monkey’s bum in here, Your Majesty,” he said, and the Queen smiled quietly to herself. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2016, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5813 "2016-11-28T00:02:44Z")
I AM NOT A LOONY! Why should I be tarred with the epithet “loony” merely because I have a pet halibut? I’ve heard tell that Sir Gerald Nabarro has a pet prawn called Simon, and you wouldn’t call Sir Gerald a loony, would you? Furthermore, Dawn Pelforth, the lady show jumper, had a clam called Sir Stefford after the late Chancellor, Allen Bullock has two pikes, both called Norman, and the late, great Marcel Proust had a haddock! If you’re calling the author of _À la recherche du temps perdu_ a loony, I shall have to ask you to step outside! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2016, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5814 "2016-11-28T01:36:29Z")
How fortunate we are indeed to have such a poet on these shores. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2016, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5815 "2016-11-28T02:21:51Z")
_IS_ it! \*bet nobody can guess that one…tee hee ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2016, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5816 "2016-11-28T09:27:33Z")
He wasn’t the messiah. He was a very naughty boy. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5817 "2016-11-29T01:36:09Z")
Good day, Mr. Fishfinger. Can I be of some assistance? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5818 "2016-11-29T06:30:58Z")
It’s just a flesh wound. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5819 "2016-11-29T07:23:37Z")
In slow motion. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5820 "2016-11-29T09:23:08Z")
The BBC would like to apologize to everyone in the world for that last item. It was disgusting and bad and thoroughly disobedient, and please don’t bother to phone up because we know it was very tasteless, but they didn’t really mean it and they all come from broken homes and have very unhappy personal lives, especially Eric. Anyway, they’re all really nice people underneath, and very warm in the traditional show business way. And please don’t write in either because the BBC is going through an unhappy phase at the moment, what with its father dying, and the mortgage, and BBC2 going out with men. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=290) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=292)