# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 292
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5821 "2016-11-29T12:57:29Z")
Hello again, and welcome to the show. Tonight we continue to look at some famous deaths. Tonight we start with the wonderful death of Genghis Khan, conqueror of India. Take it away Genghis. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5822 "2016-11-29T14:42:18Z")
She’s a good Sheila, Bruce, and not at all stuck up. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5823 "2016-11-29T15:38:09Z")
I believe in peace, and bashing two bricks together! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5824 "2016-11-29T16:21:05Z")
Good evening. Figures talk. We have already fulfilled over three of our election pledges before the end of our second year of good Conservative rule. And, what is more we hope … that in the aut-tumn we shall int-ro-duce leg-is-lat-tion in the House to bene-fit all those in low-er in-come groups. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2016, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5825 "2016-11-29T21:17:25Z")
Ah. A toilet requisite-t-t-t-t-t-t-t ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2016, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5826 "2016-11-30T00:58:19Z")
I object to all this sex on the television. I mean, I keep falling off. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2016, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5827 "2016-11-30T02:17:55Z")
They got to be trained, sir. It’s a dangerous job. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2016, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5828 "2016-11-30T05:10:32Z")
Australia, Australia, Australia, we love you, amen! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2016, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5829 "2016-11-30T11:28:52Z")
My theory by A. Elk, brackets, Miss, brackets. This theory goes as follows and begins now. All brontosauruses are thin at one end, much much thicker in the middle, and the thin again at the far end. That is my theory, it is mine, and it belongs to me, and I own it, and what it is, too. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2016, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5830 "2016-11-30T13:49:36Z")
Yeah, yeah. Can we have your liver, then? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2016, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5831 "2016-12-01T00:55:22Z")
What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2016, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5832 "2016-12-01T19:52:43Z")
Oh blimey, how time flies. Sadly we are reaching the end of yet another programme and so it is finale time. We are proud to be bringing to you one of the evergreen bucket kickers. Yes, the wonderful death of the famous English Admiral Nelson. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2016, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5833 "2016-12-01T22:25:45Z")
This man is Ernest Scribbler, writer of jokes. In a few moments, he win have written the funniest joke in the world - and, as a consequence, he will die laughing. It was obvious that this joke was lethal - no one could read it and live. It was not long before the Army became interested in the military potential of the Killer Joke. Under top security, the joke was hurried to a meeting of Allied Commanders at the Ministry of War. Top brass were impressed. Tests on Salisbury Plain confirmed the joke’s devastating effectiveness at a range of up to fifty yards. All through the winter of '43 we had translators working, in joke-proof conditions, to try and produce a German version of the joke. They worked on one word each for greater safety. One of them saw two words of the joke and spent several weeks in hospital. But apart from that things went pretty quickly, and we soon had the joke by January, in a form which our troops couldn’t understand but which the Germans could. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2016, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5834 "2016-12-01T23:31:40Z")
Good … good evening. Tonight on ‘It’s the Mind’ we examine the phenomenon of dddddddddddeja vvvvvvvvuu, that extraordinary feeling… quite extraordinary… (he tails off, goes quiet, the phone rings, he picks it up) No, fine thanks, fine. (he rings off, a man comes in on the right and hands him glass of water and leaves) Oh, thank you. That strange feeling we sometimes get that we’ve lived through something before. (phone rings again; he picks it up) No, fine thank you. Fine. (he rings off, a man comes in from right and hands him a glass of water; he jumps) … Thank you. That strange feeling … (phone rings; he answers) No. Fine, thank you. Fine. (ring off; a man enters and gives him glass of water) thank you. (he screams with fear) Look, something’s happening to me. I - I - um, I think I’d better go and see someone. Goodnight. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2016, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5835 "2016-12-02T04:49:07Z")
What a silly bunt. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2016, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5836 "2016-12-03T13:32:44Z")
Yay, and placed they the bits in little pots. Now two boys have been found rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant. Now some of you may feel that the cormorant does not play an important part in the life of the school, but I would remind you that it was presented to us by the corporation of the Town of Sudbury to commemorate Empire Day, when we try to remember the names of all those from the Sudbury area who so gallantly gave their lives to keep China British. So from now on, the cormorant is strictly OUT OF BOUNDS. Oh, and Jenkins? Apparently your mother died this morning. Chaplain. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2016, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5837 "2016-12-03T14:52:39Z")
…then did we bust the Harry Tony mob, who did seek to import Scandinavian filth via Germany. For six years they cleaned up a packet - the day I got whiff of them through a squealer and within one week did a mop-up right good. They’re now languishing doing five years’ bird in Parkhurst. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2016, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5838 "2016-12-03T16:20:07Z")
Super, super, super. Just to fill you in, this is Nigel Watt and we are having a little heart-to-heart. H-E-A-R-T. Smashing. Do go on, Nigel. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2016, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5839 "2016-12-03T16:45:38Z")
People aren’t wearing enough hats. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2016, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5840 "2016-12-04T01:11:33Z")
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