# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 298
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2016, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5941 "2016-12-26T06:20:53Z")
Look, if we were to build a large wooden badger… ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2016, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5942 "2016-12-26T09:07:39Z")
Oh, intercourse the penguin. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2016, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5943 "2016-12-26T14:08:20Z")
Could I see a lawyer or someone? ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2016, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5944 "2016-12-26T16:20:42Z")
Look, if you intend by that utilization of an obscure colloquiallism to imply that my sanity is not up to scratch, or indeed to deny the semi-existence of my little chum Eric the Half-Bee, I shall have to ask you to listen to this! Take it away, Eric the orchestra leader!.. A one… two… A one… two… three…four… [piano intro] Half a bee, philosophically, must, ipso facto, half not be. (piano tinkle) But half the bee has got to be, vis a vis its entity - do you see? But can a bee be said to be or not to be an entire bee when half the bee is not a bee due to some ancient injury? Singing… La dee dee, 1 2 3, Eric the half a bee. A B C D E F G, Eric the half a bee. Is this retched demi-bee, half asleep upon my knee, some freak from a menagerie? No! It’s Eric the half a bee. Fiddle dee dum, Fiddle dee dee, Eric the half bee. (hearty whistling) Ho ho ho, Tee hee hee, Eric the half a bee. I love this hive employee-ee-ee [with buzzing in background] bisected accidentally one summer afternoon by me I love him carnally. He loves him carnally… [together] …semi-carnally [spoken] The end ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2016, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5945 "2016-12-26T16:21:41Z")
It’s only a model. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2016, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5946 "2016-12-26T22:55:00Z")
Listen cowboy, I got a job to do. IT’S A STUPID, POINTLESS JOB, BUT AT LEAST IT KEEPS ME AWAY FROM ICELAND, ALL RIGHT? ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2016, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5947 "2016-12-27T04:17:28Z")
Let me shoulder your burden, brother. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2016, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5948 "2016-12-27T04:23:33Z")
He’s pining for the fjords. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2016, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5949 "2016-12-27T12:57:38Z")
Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2016, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5950 "2016-12-27T14:43:12Z")
Takes a second. Crucifixion lasts hours! It’s a slow, horrible death! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2016, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5951 "2016-12-27T15:10:18Z")
As he’s going to be teaching politics, I’ve told him he’s welcome to teach any of the great socialist thinkers, provided he makes it clear that they were _wrong_. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2016, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5952 "2016-12-27T15:47:07Z")
You did, James, you _did_. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2016, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5953 "2016-12-27T16:26:21Z")
Meanwhile in Washington, at the headquarters of ‘FEAR’ - the Federal Egg Answering Room - in reality a front name for ‘FEEBLE’ - the Free World Extra-Earthly Bodies Location and Extermination Centre… all was not well. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2016, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5954 "2016-12-27T23:20:52Z")
**Brian:** There’s no pleasing some people. **Ex-leper:** That’s just what Jesus said, sir. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5955 "2016-12-29T00:18:53Z")
Well l’ve been in the city for thirty years and I’ve never once regretted being a nasty, greedy, cold hearted, avaricious, money-grubber … Conservative. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5956 "2016-12-29T09:19:09Z")
Oh, Mr. Bellpitt! Your legs are so swollen! Oh, Mr. Bellpitt! Your legs… are so… swooollen! ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5957 "2016-12-30T21:00:03Z")
Pretty begonias, irises, freesias and cry-manthesums…arrange them nicely in a vase. _(thrusts the flowers head downwards into the vase and stuffs them in wildly; then bangs them with a mallet in an attempt to get them all in)_ Get in! Get in! Get in! ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5958 "2016-12-30T21:23:25Z")
And we’ve just heard that Her Majesty the Queen has just tuned into this programme and so she is now watching this royal sketch here in this royal set. The actor on the left is wearing the great grey suit of the BBC wardrobe department and the other actor is … about to deliver the first great royal joke here this royal evening. (the camera pans, Martin following it part way, to show the camera crew and the audience, all standing to attention) Over to the right you can see the royal cameraman, and behind… Oh, we’ve just heard she’s switched over. She’s watching the ‘News at Ten’. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2016, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5959 "2016-12-31T21:54:01Z")
“Popped by”? _Swarmed_ by, more like it - there’s a multitude out there! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2017, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5960 "2017-01-01T09:26:49Z")
All right, I’ll have the dead unjugged rabbit fish. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=297) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=299)