# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 299
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2017, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5961 "2017-01-01T15:22:42Z")
I mean a lot of others say they unclog you, but I never had a single bowel movement with the ‘Recto-Puffs’. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2017, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5962 "2017-01-01T19:36:07Z")
**Mr. Pither:** You are Rear Admiral Sir Dudley Compton? **Chinaman:** No. He die. He have heart attack and fell out of window onto exploding bomb, and was killed in shooting accident. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2017, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5963 "2017-01-01T21:17:20Z")
If it lays an egg, it will fall down the back of the telly-vision set. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5964 "2017-01-02T02:18:08Z")
Listen Buster! In Reykyavik it is dark for eight months of the year, and it’s cold enough to freeze your wrists off and there’s only golly fish to eat. Administrative errors are bound to occur in enormous quantities. Look at this - it’s all a mistake. It’s a real pain in the sphincter! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5965 "2017-01-02T04:59:01Z")
That could cause confusion. Mind if we call you “Bruce”? ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5966 "2017-01-02T07:08:20Z")
Padre: I’m a goner, major. Leave me, I’m … I’m not a complete man anymore. Major: You’ve lost both your arms as well. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5967 "2017-01-02T11:10:15Z")
When Martin Luther nailed his protest up to the church door in 1517, he may not have realised the full significance of what he was doing, but four hundred years later, thanks to him, my dear, I can wear whatever I want on my John Thomas. And Protestantism doesn’t stop at the simple condom. Oh, no! I can wear French Ticklers if I want. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5968 "2017-01-03T05:21:36Z")
There. Flopsy’s dead, and never called me Mother. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5969 "2017-01-03T15:07:28Z")
Mr. Bounder, this gentleman is interested in the “India Overland” — and nothing else! ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5970 "2017-01-03T15:24:22Z")
‘Fractured tibia, sergeant’? ‘Fractured tibia, sergeant’? Ooh. Proper little mummy’s boy, aren’t we? Well, I’ll tell you something, my fine friend, if you fracture a tibia here you keep quiet about it! Look at him! (looks more closely) He’s broken both his arms and he don’t go shouting about it, do he? No! 'Cos he’s a man - he’s a woman, you see, so don’t come that broken tibia talk with me. Get on at the double. One, two, three, pick that crutch up, pick that crutch right up. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5971 "2017-01-03T19:05:46Z")
What I was thinking was, I was gonna ask him if he’d make me a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which was a pain in me ass to be blunt. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5972 "2017-01-04T03:23:35Z")
Pining for the fjords?!? ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5973 "2017-01-04T06:49:11Z")
Interviewer: Yes, well, ha, ha, just a moment. Perhaps you would all like to say good evening together. Mr Sm: G… Scot: . … oo… Mr Ith: … d Mr Sm: Eve… Scot: … ni… Mr Ith: … ing ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5974 "2017-01-04T11:17:57Z")
It’s hot enough to boil a monkey’s bum in here, your Majesty. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5975 "2017-01-04T18:06:31Z")
Well, Mr Cotton, you have what we in the medical profession call a naughty complaint. My advice to you is to put this paper bag over your head - it has little holes there for your eyes, you see - and to ring this bell, and to take this card along to your hospital. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5976 "2017-01-04T19:01:40Z")
I don’t like being called “Eddie-baby.” ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5977 "2017-01-04T20:17:31Z")
Look. I tell you what. Those who want to, can eat Johnson. And you, sir, can have my leg. And we make some stock from the Captain, and then we’ll have Johnson cold for supper. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2017, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5978 "2017-01-05T01:47:39Z")
I’ve just had another baby. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2017, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5979 "2017-01-05T08:59:38Z")
I’m turning you all out! I’m not having my house filled with filthy perverts. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2017, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/5980 "2017-01-05T14:40:23Z")
_Lemming, Lemming Lemming of the BDA Lemming, Lemming Lemming of the BD… Lemming of the BD… BD-BD-Aaaaaaa!_ It’s a man’s life in the British Dental Association. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=298) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=300)