# Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218 "2010-04-24T16:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 306
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2017, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6101 "2017-02-04T02:36:47Z")
Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2017, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6102 "2017-02-04T03:02:59Z")
Basement: Dangerous gases, viruses, contagious diseases, restaurant and toilet fixings. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2017, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6103 "2017-02-04T08:50:15Z")
Good evening, and welcome to the Arthur Ludlow Memorial Baths, Newport, for this year’s finals of the All-England Summarize Proust Competition. As you may remember, each contestant has to give a brief summary of Proust’s “A La Recherche du Temps Perdu”, once in a swimsuit and once in evening dress. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2017, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6104 "2017-02-04T16:39:04Z")
Well, you’ve… slept… with a lady. Yes…? What’s it like? ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2017, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6105 "2017-02-05T03:46:50Z")
All right! I’ll get another assistant. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2017, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6106 "2017-02-05T04:33:40Z")
Yes, tonight _Probe Around_ takes a look at crime. Is it true that the police are using dachshunds to combat the crime wave? And can the head of the Vice Squad turn himself into an albatross whenever he wants to? Just what are the police up to? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2017, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6107 "2017-02-05T07:32:49Z")
Well ladies and gentlemen, I don’t think any of our contestants this evening have succeeded in encapsulating the intricacies of Proust’s masterwork, so I’m going to award the first prize this evening to the girl with the biggest tits. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6108 "2017-02-06T00:44:55Z")
And I want his only daughter to look upon me as her own dad - in a very real and legally-binding sense. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6109 "2017-02-06T02:06:27Z")
Oh yes, certainly, yes indeed, I find the grounds delightful, and the servants most attentive and particularly the little serving maid with the great big knockers, and… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6110 "2017-02-06T05:26:41Z")
It’s not a palindrome. Bolton spelt backwards is “Notlob.” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6111 "2017-02-06T06:37:37Z")
I’d like to answer this question, if I may, in two ways. First in my normal voice and then in a kind of silly high-pitched whine. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6112 "2017-02-06T14:52:13Z")
I think I’ll just go for a walk. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6113 "2017-02-06T15:45:09Z")
Well now, let us see the performances which brought them this award. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6114 "2017-02-06T15:51:25Z")
It is a great honour to have so many members of the Government dead in our sitting room. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2017, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6115 "2017-02-07T07:45:24Z")
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? I am no longer infected. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2017, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6116 "2017-02-07T14:53:19Z")
Squad! Camp it… UP! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2017, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6117 "2017-02-08T08:05:44Z")
Wankel Rotary Engine. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2017, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6118 "2017-02-08T16:27:41Z")
Good evening, we interrupt this programme again, a) to irritate you and, b) to provide work for one of our announcers. \*(different voice over - Jack) \*Good evening, I’m the announcer who’s just been given this job by the BBC and I’d just like to say how grateful I am to the BBC for providing me with work, particularly at this time of year, when things are a bit thin for us announcers. Um… I don’t know whether I should tell you this, but, well, I have been going through a rather tough time recently. Things have been pretty awful at home. My wife, Josephine… ‘Joe-jums’ as I call her… who is also an announcer… Joe-jums: Hello… Jack: … has not been able to announce since our youngest, Clifford, was born, and, well, _(tearfully)_ I’ve just got no confidence left. I can’t get up in the morning, I feel there’s nothing worth living for… _(starts to sob)_ ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2017, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6119 "2017-02-09T04:36:58Z")
You can catch it off lampposts. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2017, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218/6120 "2017-02-09T05:35:29Z")
Shirley who used to be the hairdresser? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=305) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/monty-python-non-sequitur-thread-part-1/537218.md?page=307)